I met an amazing, wonderful, funny, smart guy right here at SDMB. (If he’s a Doper, how could he NOT be all those things??) I’m absolutely smitten and now we’re going to meet IRL, which I’m really excited about.
The problem is my IRL friends, who’re all really worried about me. Everybody’s like “Be careful!” “He could be a seriel killer!” “He could be old and married!” “What if he’s completely different in person?” etc.
Now, I’m really not worried about all this stuff. (In case he’s reading this… really! I’m ok!) But it wouldn’t hurt to have some stories about meeting people IRL that you met online, especially other Dopers who met here, to counteract my friends’ fears.
Not a Doper per se, but did meet my girlfriend online and the RL meeting went great. I think it really hinges on both people being comfortable enough to see each other in RL without being so smitten/excited that they are setting asside better judgement. Use common sense of course, but overall I think the experience will be a positive one for you.
I’ve met several Dopers and they’re all the same as online, if not nicer! Taxi, I’ve met Rue, and Shibb too! Woo! They’re both great. Along with Zappo and thinksnow, but I haven’t seen them posting for a long time.
Oh, and Hamadryad and Tequila Mockingbird and their husbands, too!
Also, I’ve meet lots of the women I know from another site for mothers – and all have been just as nice in person as online.
None of these are dating/relationship type meetings, but they do confirm that, in my experience anyway, all the online people are real people and just as genuine as can be!
I met The Highwayman on American Online. We talked on the phone quite a long while before we ever met in person, and even then it was a year before the relationship went anywhere. I met the previous boyfriend the same way. He wasn’t a serial killer, just a closet case.
First guy I ever met online. Met him at an AIDS walk, turned out to be one of the best friends I ever had, am still friends with him.
Second guy: He showed up, it turned out he’d lied about his age, weight, and height. Needless to say, I didn’t stay out with him long. It wasn’t the fact that he was much older or anything, but the fact that he’d lied when he didn’t need to.
Third guy: We met specifically for one reason, the reason was accomplished, both worlds were rocked, and we still e-mail occasionally.
Fourth guy: A very nice guy who I only just met this year. Our friendship is growing stronger all the time and we get along really well.
Then I met Taxi, and she’s really nice and really sweet. So that’s 4 out of 5, 80 %, and I definitely intend to meet more Dopers (Albany Dopefest!) and I have every confidence they’ll prove to be the good kind. So don’t worry about it!
Not a Doper, but I met Mr. Neville online. I met him in person about a year after we started exchanging e-mails. Five years after that, we got married.
I met Weirddave here at the SDMB. We’ll have been married three years in July. Venoma met her husband online. Married just about the same length of time as us. Ms. Robyn and Airman Doors, also the same amount of time.
There are a few more of us. Of course they’re right to be wary as everyone doesn’t represent themselves truthfully, but I’ve never really had a bad experience meeting someone online.
My sister had not so good luck with dating guys she’d met in person. One was a not-really-on-the-wagon alcoholic with various issues, another she got engaged to and he slid into increasing drug use, getting fired from jobs for same drug use, and no intentions of changing matters. She dumped him, and signed up for Match.com. That was a few years ago. Soon after signing up, she started dating someone she met through the service. They’re getting married this Saturday, and we think her fiance is a great guy.
I’d like to point out to your friends that you don’t really have a guarantee that someone you meet in person won’t turn out to be some of those things, either.
Serial killers, child molesters, etc, can look and act like normal people when you meet them.
Married people have been known to take off their rings and tell someone they meet in person that they’re not married.
And a lot of people are different once you get to know them than they seem when you first meet them.
I met quite a few guys when I had an online personal ad, plus I’ve met a few people just from chatting in random places online.
The very worst thing that happened on any of those dates (or meetings) was that we just didn’t click in person like we did online. That was rare, though. Even if there was no romantic connection, there was still plenty there for friendship. I’m still friends with some of those people.
The BEST thing that every happened on one of those dates was that I met my fiance!
My sister met her husband online as well - I believe he sent her an IM based on her AOL profile, IIRC. Either that, or it was from a chat room. Anyway, they met soon after that, and were together for six years before they got married in October.
Good luck! Meeting people online is fun, regardless of wether you’re looking for romance or friendship.
I met quite a few guys when I had an online personal ad, plus I’ve met a few people just from chatting in random places online.
The very worst thing that happened on any of those dates (or meetings) was that we just didn’t click in person like we did online. That was rare, though. Even if there was no romantic connection, there was still plenty there for friendship. I’m still friends with some of those people.
The BEST thing that every happened on one of those dates was that I met my fiance!
My sister met her husband online as well - I believe he sent her an IM based on her AOL profile, IIRC. Either that, or it was from a chat room. Anyway, they met soon after that, and were together for six years before they got married in October.
Good luck! Meeting people online is fun, regardless of wether you’re looking for romance or friendship.
I still don’t get why this is. Guys you meet in a bar, the library, the supermarket… there are stalkers and serial killers there, too. You have just as much of a chance at meeting a nice, stable guy on the internet as anywhere else. And, gimme a break. EVERYONE is different IRL than when you’re just starting to go out. You want to show your best side of yourself. You save the nasty little personal habits and arguments for when you’re comfortable with each other.
I got this from my family and friends, too. But I’m very happy and the guy I met right here on the Dope treats me better than any guy I’ve ever met in meatspace. We’ll be getting married later this year.
That’s what I’ve been trying to remember to say! I keep thinking of that in the middle of the night or at other times when I just can’t tell people. And then when I’m talking to them, I don’t think of it.
Exactly! Now I just have to remember to tell people this.
I think part of the problem is some of the people I’ve talked to IRL are older and aren’t used to the idea of talking online, let alone meeting someone that you’ve talked to online. The other problem is that I’ve got a couple overprotective guy friends who, although they’ve met women online, think it’s somehow different for a woman meeting a man. :smack:
I’ve met a lot of very good friends online, and not a serial killer in the bunch. Thought I was doing okay, too, until I checked this thread. All these married/engaged/living together stories make me feel like a leper.
You could always ask them how they handled being suspected of being an ax murderer. As I’m sure their dates’ friends and family were saying the same thing…
My best friend from High School met a girl through an online dating service. She’s a great person, and they eventually got married after dating for a while and then living together for a longer while. My wife and I like her too, and we wish they hadn’t moved away last year, though it was good for them, because they started a successful business together and are happy.
Just be sure when you meet online friends IRL, that it’s in an open space where you’re comfortable.
I met TonyF through an online bb, and we talked for a month, then decided to meet in S.F. and hang out. It turned out that he was the nicest and sweetest guy I ever met. He became my best friend and SO within 6 months! Now we’re living together and going to the same university and things are just peachy.
He was the one who introduced me to Straight Dope, and I’m so glad that he got me to post on the sdmb! Having you guys around to listen to and get advice from really helps.
