I met my husband online in 1996. Married in 1997. He’s the bestest.
Is it safe to assume stories about a casual fling in the back of a taxicab that didn’t develop into a relationship are out?
I’m going to be meeting someone from online next month. We’ve been chatting for a few months now and I think he’s just great. I’m trying not to make a big deal of it in case we don’t click (and even if we do, he’s pretty far away), but it’s not easy!
It’s nice to see that others have done this and lived to tell the tale. I’ll be checking this thread for advice, so keep it coming!
*Long Time First Time and I were regular posters on a Usenet newsgroup. She thought I seemed like a nice guy, and began to e-mail me when she was unhappy in her marriage and just wanted someone to talk to. Well, actually “type to” at first, but I eventually gave her my phone number, and she began to call. She found an excuse to visit the Cleveland (Ohio) area, where I was then living, and the face-to-face meeting in December 2000 helped convince her not only to divorce her husband but to persuade me to move to Indiana five months later. On Monday, I celebrated the fourth anniversary of my arrival in Lafayette, and we’re very much a couple (though we’ll be living apart for a few more years, as one of her kids is in college, the other two are still at home, and my joining the family would have been awkward for all concerned).
My husband and I met through the loveataol matchmaking service. Married three years in August. Tell people to mind their own business (in a nice way, of course). Meeting people over the internet is here to stay. How else are you supposed to meet someone? And with online dating, you know where you both stand (assuming no one’s lying, of course, and most people are just people) - no wondering if he’s looking, or if she’s attached, or if they smoke or drink or want kids.
Oh yeah, meeting the Calgary area Dopers was great, too. A fun bunch.
After a year or so of casual exchanges and the occasional flirt on a messageboard (not SDMB) we were encouraged by a mutual friend to swap IM addresses because she thought we’d be “good for each other.” After some initial awkwardness we decided to meet in January. Both of us were warned by friends to be careful about meeting someone we only knew online.
We now see each other every month and I’m planning to move to her area when I retire in a few years. There’s still a few things we need to work out, but it looks like this is going to be a long-term relationship.
I met my SO online 7 years ago (or is it 8? Who’s counting at this point?). We actually met on Yahoo chat, in the X-Files chat room. Lord I am a geek 
We chatted online for about 6 months, and then did phone calls and chatted online for another six before we actually met in person (he was at one end of the country, and I was at the other). We figured that even if there was no romantic spark, we at least each had a fantastic friend.
I agree wholeheartedly with what other posters have said so far about how people can lie to you no matter where you meet them…and that you can meet good people in all kinds of places.
And I ask you, what do you think makes more sense:
Meeting someone in a bar, talking to them a little, and them giving them your phone number or maybe letting them know where you live?
or…
Meeting someone online, getting to know a bit about their personality and lifestyle over time, and then deciding to meet?
That’s very good advice, for the most part. But not always necessary. Maureen and I talked on IM for about 6 months before we met in person. In that 6 months I felt like I got to know her well enough to trust her. I mean KNOW her. I totally had no qualms about meeting her. Now my parents on the other hand… not so sure. 
Met him on LiveJournal, fall 2001 or so. No mutual friends, or even friends of friends of friends of friends. I just thought he was very interesting and kind of hot. He says he thought the same.
We’re moving in together this fall. Whee!
I haven’t met any Dopers, but I’ve met a bunch of guys (and one girl) IRL through on-line dating services. I haven’t gotten murdered even once! And with only one exception, none of the guys misrepresented himself. I also met a bunch of folks from a D.C.-centric message board I used to post on: a few of us picked a night and a restaurant and met for dinner, and that went pretty well.
None of my current friends are from on-line, but I have no qualms about meeting people that way.
Good luck with your Doper! 
I will have a TALK with Mr Neville when he gets home, about his other wife in Ohio. 'Cause he’s the bestest, and there can be only one bestest… 
My fiance and I met online in 2002. We did the phone thing for a couple of months then the dating thing. We lived about 40 miles apart so we only saw each other on weekends for the first two years, then last fall he moved here.
I also dated many guys I met online before meeting him. I always tried to be careful about where we met & such. Only had a couple of creep out moments where I felt like I needed to back out of the situation for self preservation reasons.
And as others have said above, weirdos & bad guys are everywhere and have been around long before the internet, so I don’t get the connection people make when they say this way of meeting is so dangerous.
I met my fiancee almost 6 years ago on an online personals site which no longer exists. After a few weeks of e-mailing and phoning, we met in person at Friendly’s, at lunch time (so there’d be lots of people there). After lunch, I went to his house and met his parents and sister. Then, we went to a movie. We’ve been engaged for almost 4 of the past 6 years, living together for 4-1/2.
Met my boyfriend a bit over six years ago, were just online pals for a long time, then we each developed crushes on the other. In november of 2001, I flew to California to meet him in person. We realized that we were in love, and we’ve been together ever since. Well, not physically…I’m finally moving there in June. Yay!
Just chiming in to add my good experiences with meeting people on the internet. Sure, I met my ex-fiance over the internet, but I’ll give him one thing (and this is the nicest thing I have to say about him!): he was human. Not a serial killer, stalker, psycho. Just human. Our relationship lasted over two years.
Technically, I met my now-husband over the internet first, met him in person when I visited my then-fiance, and kept in touch with him over the internet (and phone). And he is the best thing that came from the whole experience. Really, meeting people over the internet is about the same as meeting people in person, the only difference is that you get to anticipate the actual meeting - how exciting it is to be meeting with someone you already click with! It actually takes out some of the guesswork (yet none of the mystery! oooooh! )
Just trust your instincts, and have fun! If he’s a Doper, how bad could he be?
Good luck!
I met nevermore online (on the Adult Swim message board) and we dated for a while, we’re still good friend and we’re going to see Star Wars and drink beer tomorrow night.
I also met Lunarnoodle online, (also at ASMB), and we’ll be moving in together in just a few months.
As others have said, the main problem is that people sometimes come off differently in text than in person. People can be braver in text, have a different online ‘personality’, etc… but in those cases the worst that happens is that you find out the rapport isn’t there. That was actually a concern for Lunar and me. We had some of the most wonderful, open, honest online conversations. I could, and still can from time to time, tell her exactly what her emotional/intellectual state is from a few lines of text. We were worried that it wouldn’t carry over into real life, and to be honest at first it didn’t exactly. We were both somewhat nervous. But the second day we were hanging out we ended up doin’ some cuddling, and things were alllllllll good. It’s long distance so we have some great phone conversations (I hate talking on the phone, hate it, but I like talking to her on the phone, go figure.), and great in person conversations too.
And to chime in with what others have been saying, yes, it’s easier to hide certain things about yourself online. On the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. But in those cases, the worst that happens is you meet up for coffee and send the liar packing. Which brings up another point, it is a good idea to meet someone new off the 'net at a public place. But then again, it’s a good idea to meet most new people at a public place. Unless you’d invite a stranger over for drinks on your couch, don’t do the same for someone you meet online.
I mean, if you meet someone in real life, and they’re a serial killer, do you think they’ll tell you? Like they’d only hide that online? I think people are too concerned about the “50 year old man posing as a 16 year old girl in a chatroom” style internet assholes. Not exactly the best generalization when you’re talking about online dating. All in all I think there’s a very simple set of advice for any relationship, online or not. Take things as slow as necessary, make sure you trust the person, try to stay aware and safe, and have fun.
Well, I met Miller at a Dopefest, and we’ve been dating for about six months now. At first I didn’t kill him because it would’ve meant having to clean out my basement to hide the body, but now I’m not going to kill him because I kind of like him.
And as for the non-romantic interests I’ve met from the SDMB, I’ve been pretty impressed. Even people I’ve argued with on the boards I get along with fine in person. It’s easy to forget that the internet just shows you the most extreme aspects of people – they get polarized around specific issues, or they’re more outspoken, or you only get to see one aspect of them. But there’s usually a whole entire person behind each screen name.
The perception, of course, is that those of us who date people we met online are doing so only because we’re too socially awkward, ugly, or psychotic to be able to meet people in “real life.” Fortunately, just being the type who communicates better over text than in person, doesn’t automatically mean you’re a total loser. (I hope).
I’ve met quite a few of the BritDopers (and random American dopers when you guys come over), and they’ve all turned out not to be mad axe murderers. I met Bonzer at a Dopefest about a year and a half ago. We’ve been together ever since, and well, he hasn’t killed me yet. Although I’m not sure where he’d hide the body if he did.
I don’t think it makes you a loser at all, personally. Some of us are picky, and/or have high requirements. If my ‘type’ is smart, quirky, freethinking, sexually positive women, I can spend a night chatting one up and see where it goes, or share a few snippets of conversation with a bunch of random girls at a party… or I can read thousands upon thousands of posts over the course of a few months and see if anybody is intellectually compatible with me. As far as I see it, the 'net is just like a massive bar without the alcohol.
And yes, there are of course people who aren’t total losers, or even partial losers, but take a while to warm up to someone, or are better in text, or what have you. Different strokes for different folks, after all.
Met my first out-of-home housemate on the internet. We roleplayed together in a chat room. I went to visit him in June '01 and we ended up moving in together in Sydney in September that year. We lived together for just over three years, until I moved home again.
My Hubby and I met online, in a MUSH this time, just after I’d broken up with another online relationship that I was due to fly out and meet. Hubby and I were friends for about six months, then he visited for three months and we started doing the horizontal monkey dance during that time. Then he came back about a year later and we were married in Jan this year. So that seems to have worked out