Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five ...

Tines.

Brilliant stuff.

Fork big enough to hold a Bloomin Onion.

The best Onion articles are the ones that I would have no problem believing if I saw it on a real news site.

The ad I see when I click on this thread says “Newton: Local Mom Makes $77/hr Online!”, with a picture of French newsreader Melissa Theuriau. The Onion seems quite credible in comparison.

Oh whew! I thought this was serious before I saw the link went to The Onion. It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when a headline and sampling from a parody website can actually be construed as serious.

I heard this in Angry-Ass-O’Reilly voice. Is that how OP meant it? :smiley:

I have this creepy deja vu feeling… The Onion sometimes actually nails it.

I bet we see 5 tine forks before the world ends in 2012.

:dubious:
:smiley:
:eek:

Man, I’d love to fork her five tines!

Actually, I saw this somewhere and did think it was for real. :o

But why not? There are certainly 3, and, I think, 2 tine forks. Why not 5? It need not even have much to do with how wide the fork is or how much it can hold. What is so special about 4?

(Oh,I think I already know how to answer that. . . . 4.)

So, why is it four tines?

You’d have to fight against a malformed dwarf.

There are four tines.