Fuck Super A-Mart, and fuck Ikea too!

Today, MaxBabe and I went shopping for furniture. Specifically, we went shopping for a chest of drawers for the laundry area, so that we could put freshly-washed clothes into some sort of order.

We went to Super A-Mart, which had quite a range of stuff. The moment I walked into the store, the smell hit me. The smell of wood, manufactured into various items of furniture. I love that smell!

So, out of interest, I started looking around. I recall having joked with MaxBabe that we’d go into the store looking for something and eventually emerge from it with everything but. Oh, how prophetic those words were. We found a set of shelves, a TV unit, an armoire and a chest of drawers. We were also suckered into checking out the sofas, because our current one is a heap of shit! Actually, it’s not a heap of shit, but it needs to be reupholstered, and I’m tired of its sagging cushions.

We saw lots of sofas, but none exactly like we wanted. “There’s another A-Mart on the southside”, says I, excitedly, “and Ikea!”. So we trotted off to the southside, confident that we would find what we were looking for.

The A-Mart on the southside was absolutely useless. They had about five sofas like the one we wanted, but not exactly what we were looking for. So we trotted off to Ikea.

Oy vey. What a nightmare! The carpark was absolutely chokkas. Once we finally got a park, the store itself was horrible. Its layout is such that a customer must walk through the entirety of the store, from start to finish, through every single frickin’ display, before being able to exit. One narrow path from which no-one may deviate. ARGH!!!

Ikea had even fewer sofas than the second A-Mart. Fuckers. We felt totally cheated! It’s not a trivial matter to travel from the northside all the way to the southside. :mad:

Anyway. This byzantine maze through which we were forced to pass was a wretched hell. MaxBabe had to pee, and I had a headache. We were forced to march behind the Moron Family, along with their well-inbred cousins, the Village Idiots. Finally! A sign, and it said “EXIT”!!! We raced past the Moron Family to the sign, which pointed to another sign, which in turn pointed to yet another! These signs took us in an enormous loop that could not be circumvented. Fuckers. In frustration, I said (probably too loudly), “What the hell happens when this place goes up in smoke, does everyone die trying to find the exit?!” The woman in front of us laughed, and I knew then that she felt our pain.

And then, a new horror befell us. The checkout. Five lines, each twenty people deep. And no exit for people not making purchases. We ended up begging one of the staff to let us out through a guard-rail. Unbelievable.

Furious, I turned to MaxBabe and said, “We are NEVER going back there again!”. Disheartened, she nodded her agreement.

And then we saw it. The sign that said “discount sofas”. We went inside and the woman there treated us like royalty. We sat and talked about sofas, modules, cushions etc etc. Finally, we agreed on a nice L-shaped sofa, with modules that can be added, moved or removed as needed. MaxBabe was very impressed! We put it on lay-by and will pick it up in a month or two, once it’s paid off. I’m happy to lay down a couple grand on good furniture when we know we’re being properly looked after.

So. We headed back to the original A-Mart, to discover that all the gear we’d had our eyes on (bar the TV unit) was sold, despite not having any “SOLD!” stickers attached to them. :rolleyes: Then we were told we could put the stuff on order, but we’d have to wait twelve weeks for supply.

MaxBabe was very sad. She wanted our new furniture this afternoon, not in three months’ time! I was fuming. I couldn’t believe these fuckers could look us straight in the eye, smiling sweetly, and tell us to wait three months for furniture. MaxBabe turned to me and we discussed the possibility of ordering the gear we wanted. Get the TV unit delivered here on Monday (meaning one of us would have to take the day off work), then order the other stuff, wait three months, and have the other stuff delivered (double delivery fee, double assembly fee, of course)… or just tell them to bite me?

You can guess my answer, I’m sure :smiley:

So here I am, sitting on my cruddy old sofa, looking at my tired TV unit, our clothes on the laundry floor, my books in a pile on the coffee table. A-Mart can bite me. For now. Until the next time I get the urge to refurnish my house. :slight_smile: I still don’t want to give those pricks our money, but they have a monopoly on affordable furnishings.

I feel bad for MaxBabe though. She wanted instant gratification. She wanted us to come home and spend the afternoon assembling furniture, starting to build our home together. I wanted that too!

So to Super A-Mart, and Ikea, a hearty fuck-you! And a big punch in the nose to the cunt who smiled so sweetly at us when telling us to wait three months for our furniture!

Grrr! :mad:


Not to make light of your pain (I have to furniture shop soon and I’m dreading it), but you just made me incredibly happy with your use of lay-by. My family has always used that instead of lay-away, and you’re the first other person I’ve ever heard use it. Now I have proof that, while we may be insane at times, we’re not stupid!

Please clear something up for me, in the name of fighting ignorance: what’s the difference between lay-away and lay-by?

Not a thing that I know of. Growing up, we put things on “lay-by”, while other people put things on “lay-away”, so I assume it’s just a difference in terms.

I’d like to tack on a hearty “Fuck-You” to the super Wal-Mart in my town. Geez, it’s so fricking big that to just run in and out takes 30 minutes. The assholes need to make the place more secure so at 10:00 PM or so, they lock the doors on the merchandise side, and you can only enter through the Grocery Store side! The entrances are on opposite ends of the store. To make matters worse, they don’t put up any signs or tell you that the doors are locked. I can’t count how many times I’ve parked by the merchandise entrance, gone shopping, paid for my goods, and walked to the exit only to find that I have to walk to the opposite end of the store, to exit, then walk the entire length of the building to get to my car! My final bitch about the SWM here in my town is that you’re hard pressed to find a single aisle that goes from one end of the store to the other! You have to take a fricking turn no matter where you go! I don’t shop there except as a last resort.



I’ve always thought lay-by was an Australianism, and lay-away was an Americanism. The first time I ever heard “lay-away”, I thought, “WTF?? Is this yet another biscuit vs cookie thing?”. Turns out I was right :slight_smile:


Ohhhhhhhh, okay. I first thought you mean that your family used lay-by when everyone else used lay-away, meaning that there were two distinct methods, not just vocabulary terms.

** Maxxie**You’ll be thrilled to learn then that the Ikea is a small Ikea and some time soon they are opening a huge Ikea somewhere on the southside. It apparently will feature the same layout only much much much much larger. Joy.

I reckon you got a better sofa from the place by Ikea than you would get from Super Amart. Mine are looking aged after only a couple of years.

And finally I thought Amart didn’t do layby any more? Don’t they make you take out an account with GE Finance? The no interest dealio for 2 years? Complete with minor hidden charges? We bought a dishwasher using GE Finance and I was completely horrified at the amount of money they put at our disposal.

Stop it, you’re scaring me!

Who knows. They said the “lay-by” word, but for all I know, by that point they could’ve been saying “Other stores do lay-by, because they actually have stock. Not us! We make you pay huge interest rates as well as wait twelve weeks for a chest of drawers!” I didn’t hear clearly because my ear drums had sealed themselves off to prevent my brain from catching the Stupid.

Meanwhile, there was a sofa at A-Mart that we saw (mentioned in my original post, the one that wasn’t quite right for us). The waiting period? 22 weeks.



People actually shop at SUUUPER A-mart? I would have thought those annoying ads would have turned everyone off.

An L shaped sofa? Well there is your problem right there! Modules that can be added? It gets worse!

Sympathies for your horror shopping day though.