You learn more from a bad boss than a good one.
Best of luck. It can only get better and more sunshiney.
Thanks for all the good wishes everyone.
So I’ve calmed down a little, and have begun to consider the idea of notice. I originally was going to just walk out, but I’ve been thinking that it’s a.) unprofessional and b.) really screws over the people that I like. However, I’m very concerned about how she’ll treat me once I’m under notice. Also, the idea of being there two more weeks makes my physically ill.
I was thinking of giving notice until the end of the week (my last day will be this coming Friday), and putting a line in my resignation letter about how my notice is condition on my being treating with respect during my final days. I think 4 days should be enough time to tie up loose ends.
My mother thinks one should give two weeks no matter how bad the job is. My dad thinks I should respond with “Fuck you” and never look back. (Well, he thinks I should look back long enough to sue). I feel my one week is compromise, and I’ll be able to walk out at any time.
(my contract, btw, specifically mentions that I’m an “at-will” employee, so the only thing the notice is for is kindness to others)
Whatcha think?
Depending on the job & the nature of the seperation, many employers would rather you just leave than let you hang around for a week or two and set off all kinds of mischief.
What exactly does your contract of employment state about notice? I don’t know about the US but in the UK if you do not stick to it you can be sued for breach of contract. Besides, you are a professional, and professionals honour their word.
That said, because the Dragon Lady is both your boss and why you are leaving, it would be entirely appropriate to ask that you be assigned a different manager during your period of notice.
I don’t have a clue as to what the laws are where you live. Where I live, we have a government run employment insurance program that covers short term disability leave, including stress leave.
You might wish to look into such things where you reside. E.g. go on short term disability until it runs out, and then quit if you are not able to go back to the dragon lady.
My contract states that I am an at will employee and that either party may terminate the contract at any time, without notice or cause.
If she tells me to just go, well, she’s the dumbest dipshit there ever was. I can’t say she won’t do that, because she’s convinced herself I do nothing all day. She’s going to be really suprised when she comes across all the things I learned directly from my predecessor (pre-dating Dragon Lady) and no one else in the company knows how to do. And that’s all the more ammo for my letter to her boss. Because I generously offered to leave gracefully, and she spit in my face.
So, we’ll see.
Holy shit, Obsidian . I read the first thread you linked to and your story might as well have been mine. My boss is almost exactly the same, no fooling. And I feel exactly the way you say you did. I run a small art store within a University and, despite the fact that this creep knows jack shit about art or art supplies, he is my manager (let’s call him Mr. Anus). Doesn’t trust me even though I’ve never given him a reason not to. Treats me like I’m an idiot. Everytime I make a mistake he goes around telling everyone how stupid I was to have made such a mistake. One day I just stopped caring, too. Mr. Anus drove me to a nervous breakdown with his head games and verbal/emotional abuse last December. It was only once I was gone did he realize that he knew absolutely nothing about my job and the store completely fell to shit. Made a lot of students and profs very angry. They complained to the Big Boss. Big Boss reamed him out big time. Mystifyingly, he got to keep his job. But, they brought in another manager to oversee him to make sure he does what he’s supposed to do. Mr. Anus, although still a two-faced piece of shit, is considerably better than he used to be. Still, it took 2 different medications and couselling to make work bearable for me. Like you stated, looking for another job is very difficult right now, not only in the process, but my self-esteem is so battered, I feel too stupid to imagine anyone even considering hiring me.
I feel for you, man. I hope things start looking better for ya. I believe what goes around comes around. That bitch’ll get hers soon enough, and I think Mr. Anus will too, someday.
…wanna be pen pals? 
Hey Obsidian , how’d it go? Any update?
It might be waaaay to late for my two cents worth, but just in case…
If you’re submitting a letter to the CEO, et al., try to deliver it as directly as possible. I’ve known a few friends in your situation, who found their eloquently drafted letters of termination intercepted by the very person who created such a hostile work environment in the first place.
I also agree with others that the hostile environment negates the standard two-week notice, and I’d explain that in your letters.
InkBlot
:eek:
Unfortunately, her reaction was less than satisfying. I suppose she saw it coming. The rest of the people in my office have been fantastic. You know there’s something wrong with your company when you announce you’re quitting, and the person’s reaction is to hug you and say ‘Congratulations!’. Seriously, people are congratulating me, telling me they can’t believe I lasted this long. One of our VPs, who has always had my back and been one of my favorite people to work with, spontaneously offered to call some friends at ‘stable and sane’ companies in the area—one of which is about 5 minutes from my house—and see if he can get my foot in the door. Another VP, the one who coined ‘Dragon Lady’ told me not to get too nice a new job because he’s calling me when he moves on so I can come be his assistant wherever he is. I’ve gotten tons of hugs and have resorted to putting up a calendar so I can schedule all the people who want to take me out to lunch before I go.
It’s really sad what she managed to do to me. That I’m surprised people will miss me, that people would not just give me a recommendation but go out on a limb for me. It’s hard to believe in yourself when the person you interact with the most constantly tells you how much you suck.
She’s been sort of hiding in her office today. The outpouring of goodwill and the fussing over me going on must drive her nuts. And I realized that I owe the rest of them properly tied ends. So I’ll be staying until next Tuesday. I feel good, all in all. I bet I’m going to sleep great tonight. I also figured out that in California you can get unemployment if you quit “with good cause”, and it is on the employer to prove you didn’t have good cause. Hostile work environment/fear for mental and physical health appears to be a good cause, so wish me luck on that front.
I’m going to get a very late lunch now, I’ll post more later when I get home tonight.
Obsidian, good for you. I’ve been reading this thread from the other end, as a manager, and I appreciate everything you say. I’m using Dragon Lady as my anti-template for being a boss. So let me see if I’m getting it:
- Assume workers are acting like adults.
- Assume workers care about doing a good job.
- Praise in public, criticize in private.
- Before criticizing, ask for the other side.
- Cut some damn slack.
- Ask yourself how important the issue really is (e.g., sending a personal e-mail).
- Notice and appreciate extra effort.
Anything else I should learn from Dragon Lady?
By the way, in my experience, the lamest, most inept, most hostile, and craziest bosses seem to congregate in Sales and IT; I don’t know why. I’ve been amazed that they’ve managed to keep from getting the crap beat out of them every single day of their lives, much less get promoted to supervisory positions.
Again, congratulations.
Careful there…you’re actually looking for a “constructive discharge” when it comes to the employer to disprove; quitting “with good cause” does require proof of the claimant.
Good Luck.
First off, I gotta say that’s pretty cool. It is always great to know how much you’re appreciated on the job. And I hope you took the VP up on his offer to call around to other companies for you.
But somewhere in the back of my head a little alarm bell is ringing. If you’re such a valued employee, and even the VPs know and admit it, why aren’t they doing something to get rid of Dragon Lady? Are her skills of such a unique sort that there’s little to no chance of replacing her, or is she just too hard to dislodge?
Just a couple questions is all.
It’s called nepotism, baby. She was the CEO’s admin at his last company, and is a close personal friend of his wife. He steadfastly refuses to believe that she can’t manage people to save her life, and keeps telling me to “give her time”. He spends half the year out of the country so he doesn’t see it.
We’re a privately held (by him) company. He can do whatever he pleases. There is a reason several of them are muttering, as they congratualte me, about moving on.
There’s something else that I simply can’t discuss for legal/confidentiality reasons, but if you knew the whole deal, you’d see how replacing her could be very tricky.
Good going, Obsidian. It sux when bad people are in a company, they have their ticket punched, and nothing they do can get them canned.
People obviously care about you. You will continue to be loved elsewhere, I’m sure.
Keep hanging in there till the final stretch!
Her first name isn’t Cindy is it? And the boss’s name is Chuck?
I know a Chuck and Cindy in the business world and she plays ‘bad cop’ for him and what ever company hired him, his first thing on his todo list was to hire her.
Nah, I figured there was something behind the scenes we either couldn’t or weren’t supposed to see. That absolutely sucks.
- Respect their privacy. For example, an employee’s sexual orientation or dating preferences are none of your business. What she does on her lunch break? None of your business. Her best friend’s finances? REALLY none of your business. Don’t mock her diet. Don’t mock her pets.
8a. Respect thier personal space. There is no need to lean over their shoulder and put your head next to hers when you talk. - Brush your teeth. I mean it. If you’re going to lean over her shoulder and talk two inches from her face, the least you could do is have good breath.
- Have a little human compassion. When she comes to you, mortified, because her cat peed on her shirt and she needs to go home and change, don’t argue with her and make her beg. It’s just cruel.
Otherwise, you’re right on the nose. What’s funny is that I’ve never been able to isolate it into a list before. I just knew she made me feel like a piece of shit on a daily basis. But your list is it. Everything I want in a boss and everything I don’t get.
Incidentally, my two favorite bosses are in Sales and IT. Around here it’s finance that’s crazy. (Though the tales of horror I get from my friends at the regional sales offices and Hot IT Guy lead me to believe that my guys are an aberration).
– “Respect privacy.” Check.
– “Have compassion.” Check
– “Brush teeth.” Che . . . crap, I knew I forgot something . . .