Yes, you read that correctly. I’ve been working here as Controller for a year and a half and I’ve had it. I’ve had it with my boss, with the job, with the stress of having all of the financial responsibility to keep this company afloat.
I hate that my boss so paranoid about money that he thinks everyone is screwing him. I hate that I’m the IT person, when I only know how to work the programs, not fix them. I hate that the stress is making me physically sick. I hate the person I supervise.
My boss is a shoot first and ask questions later, guilty until proven innocent, kinda guy and I’m really sick of waiting for him to get upset about something and start chewing me out. Then having to prove to him that whatever happened wasn’t my fault.
I tried to quit a couple of months ago and we cleared the air a little bit and I decided to stay because he told me how pleased they are with my work, don’t want to lose me, etc.
Now, I’ve been sick for the past 3 weeks with a stomach “thing” to be determined. I know it’s from stress and I need a change. So I tried to tell them yesterday that they needed to start looking for someone else and that because of my health and other personal problems, I don’t trust myself to do my job as well as I used to, but they gave me the “It’ll be impossible to replace you” speech. They tried working every angle possible to get me to stay. We decided to lighten my load a bit and I’m going to work 4 days a week and see how that goes. That doesn’t help the fact that my head just isn’t in the game right now and I’m scared to stay here and wait for the other shoe to drop.
How do I stand my ground? Why do I keep caving in?
I have a job interview next week for a job in an accounting department at a TV station. Being part of a team again, rather than the only one with all of the responsibility is really what I want right now.
I don’t quite understand what is making this so difficult for you. They cannot legally make you stay there! Just quit. If they won’t accept your two weeks notice just walk out. You aren’t required to give notice. They may not give you a recommendation for another job but honestly is the stress worth a recommendation?
What do you mean, won’t let you quit? Has he chained you to your desk, unlocking you only when you need to visit the bathroom?
You want to leave, leave. Good luck on your interview. Then, it’s a simple, “I’m giving you my two week’s notice.” Unless he holds you at gunpoint, there’s no way he can keep you there against your will. And from what it says in your post, you’re not really quitting. You’re “I need to dial back my hours” and “I need more help.” That’s not the same as quitting.
The person who’s not letting you quit stares back at you in the mirror every morning. Don’t blame it on your boss. Kick ass on the interview, then turn in your notice. It’s up to your boss to figure out how to replace you.
When the torch is passed for this position, my boss isn’t involved at all. In fact, when I got here, I had to make a lot of changes because the person before me was doing a ton of things wrong. Neither my boss, nor the VP know how to do what I do. They rely on me so much, that they would be screwed beyond belief if I just walked out. So I feel guilty.
They were even sensing the guilt, because they were saying “it would be almost impossible to replace you” and “the accountants said the books were the cleanest they’ve seen in a long time”. That makes me feel great, but it makes me feel like, well, maybe I should stay. Apparently, flattery *will * get you somewhere.
ivylass, I did try to quit. I told them to start looking for someone else. That’s when they brought up different things to try to accommodate my stress level. They really don’t want me to go. But I think it’s not just because I’m good, but because they don’t want the hassle.
I understand. I was in the same position, once. After more than a year of doing three jobs for the salary of one, losing sleep, making myself sick with stress, I walked into the General Manager’s office and told him I couldn’t take it anymore. They double-teamed me, even dragged the president of the company in, to convince me that I was so valued and important, blah blah blah. (Duh, they were paying me $17K a year to perform three jobs that earned $24K, $17K and $16K, previously.) They promised to institute the performance bonuses I’d been promised for the last year. They promised all kinds of stuff.
Then they readjusted my schedule, so I was working 12-hour days instead of 10-hour days, so that I would have time to get everything done.
I stuck it out for another month or so, during which I found another, better-paying job, and then I left with very little notice. I also left a polite note explaining why I left in such a fashion, with my keys to the office clipped to it.
Don’t let them guilt you into staying. They probably know you’re on your way out, and they’re already looking for your replacement. Get that other job first, and bail on this one.
Tell them that you are quiting in two weeks-no ifs, ands, ors or buts. That this is going to happen, there’s nothing they can do to change it. And tell them that if they keep on telling you that you can’t quit, they’ll change things, you’ll walk out RIGHT THIS MINUTE. And do that if they still won’t listen.
That’s why I had to leave Kmart. I just hated it so much, I was having panic attacks at the idea of coming into work, having to call off, getting sick, etc. I told my boss I HAD to dial back my hours, but she’d agree and then give me the same hours again. So I just told them I couldn’t do it anymore and that that day was my last shift. My work ethic was so poor at that point, I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if I HAD stayed.
Sweetie, that’s not quitting. That’s telling them they need someone else for the job. A subtle difference, but, IMHO, an important one.
It’s not up to you to tell them to find someone else. Who knows, they may need two or three other someone elses to take your place. How they decide to fill your shoes is not your worry. Your worry is to leave, with adequate notice if appropriate.
They may rely on you more than they should. But that is not your concern. It’s not a good business practice to put all your eggs in one employee’s basket, because, Og forbid, what if you get hit by a bus on your way to work and pull a Terri Schiavo?
Repeat that to yourself. It’s not your concern. Good luck on the job interview, and let them worry about how to fill your position. They can’t make you feel guilty. Only you can allow yourself to feel guilty. Besides, it’s not like they’ve accomodated your previous requests. And if the business fails because one employee leaves, well, then, it wasn’t a good business to begin with, was it?
Yeah, my work ethic is definitely crap these days. My head isn’t right, right now. My father died 4 days before Christmas and since then, I’ve had a seizure at work, been in a car accident, and gotten this stomach problem. I can’t trust myself to do my normally good job. I put off grieving for my father by using drugs and now that I’ve stopped, I know I need some therapy because I cry at the drop of a hat. In short, I’m a mess.
This job isn’t right for me anymore and I’m not right for the job. Hey! That’s a good line! I think I’ll use it later today.
Thanks for the advice. You’d think it would be so simple and that I wouldn’t need to ask people how to quit my job. But that’s due to my state of mind, I suppose.
I had one of those “we can’t live without you” bosses. Oddly enough, he never thought my indispensiblity mertied a raise. When I finally got fed up and quit, he offered my job to another person (who laughed all the way out of the office when he heard the salary), then asked me to stay for “a couple more weeks” to ease the transition (I had already scheduled a start date at a new job) and finally hired two people to do the work I had been doing.
Take care of your own life and let your boss take care of the company.
It’s fine to be loyal to a good company. But your primary loyalty must be to yourself. If this job is making you ill, then you must take steps to find another position. No one is going to take care of you like you, and no one is going to look out for you like you.
Please let us know how the job interview goes, and keep looking for other jobs if the accounting position doesn’t pan out. I work in broadcasting, so a little tidbit…broadcast facilities operate on a slightly different calendar than the rest of the world. They bill on the last Sunday of the month, and the week runs Monday-Sunday, and for most places, the day runs from 6am to 5:559am.
My e-mail is in my profile if you have any more specific questions.
Nutty Bunny My sincere condolences on the loss of your father. You’ve had an extremely difficult 2005 so far and deserve a little head space to un-stress, grieve and heal.
My only suggestion is to put it in writing. A letter of resignation, copy everyone who needs to know:
Dear Mr. Headuphisass,
I hereby tender my resignation. My last day of work will be April 24, 2005. It has been rewarding and challenging to work her at XYZ company and I’m happy to have had the experience. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah bs, bs, bs, bs.
Sincerely,
Nutty Bunny
If it’s in writing they’ll know you’re serious and it’s the right way to do it. Go ahead. You can write the letter in 5 minutes and turn it in before you leave work today. In fact, here is a site that will give you tips and pointers. Go ahead. It’s Friday and if you turn the letter in before you leave I guarantee a great weekend ahead.
Thanks everyone. I think I’m going to wait until I have the interview on Friday. Whether I get the job or not, I’ll tell them the following Monday. If I don’t get the job, there are always temp positions available around here. If I have to do data entry for a bit until I get a permanent job, so be it. At least I won’t be toying with the idea of staying here. My husband is behind me 100%, whatever I decide, so that helps too.
Thanks for the link, velvetjones. It’s going to be really helpful.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with loyalty, but your first loyalty is to yourself. Try to leave on the best terms possible with these guys, but make it clear that your health is currently being effected and your leaving is non-negotiable. Be firm.
The health thing will make them sit up and listen. If (Og forbid) you have a heart attack or another stress related breakdown right now, then they will have to pay your medical insurance and for your rehabilitation. When they realize that this is a possibility, they won’t want you there anymore. And you will be doing the right thing by them and to yourself by leaving.
This guy doesn’t even think he’s an ass. I’ve heard him on the phone with someone who was chewing him out for berating the receptionist because she didn’t come back on the phone fast enough to tell him he wasn’t available. He’s always yelling at people and he’s very impatient. Nothing is ever good enough or fast enough and the rules always change on his whims.
Since he doesn’t realize this is a problem at age 67, he never will. And I’m done trying to win him over.
I feel your pain. I told my boss almost 3 months ago that I was planning to transfer to the southern region at the end of April so I could move in with my mom and go back to school full time. 3 months of guilt trips, and I still don’t have an alternate store yet. I figure I’m leaving in 3 weeks, whether they have a spot for me or not. Either I get a transfer, or I get a new job. If I’m as valuable as thy say I am, they’ll want to keep me in the company, even if it doesn’t benefit them directly.
