I’ll be the lone voice in the wilderness: I think you’re overreacting.
He knocked on the door. He asked politely for money. He left when told you have none to give. That’s all.
Sure, consider whether or not to open the door once you look through the peephole. Leave your door locked, etc. I’m not saying that’s bad advice. But really. He didn’t even wake you up and get you out of bed. He may have chosen your house because he could see lights on anyway and figured you were still up.
I don’t like panhandlers asking me for money either, and I especially wouldn’t like the door-to-door kind. But this seems a little over the top. He knocked on the door, asked politely for money, and left when told you didn’t have any to give him. That’s all. A knock on the door makes you that scared in your own house WITH multiple guns there?
Why the hell did he want to know if your husband or father was home? I’m having trouble figuring that one out.
It seems unlikely that he thought you were not allowed to make decisions or hand out money, so that can’t be it.
It seems unlikely that he thought a man would be more likely to fall for his BS, so that can’t be it.
He might have been trying to butter you up by asking if your father was home, indicating that you were too youthful-looking to be a grown up and live on your own, but he also asked if your husband was home, so that can’t be it.
It seems like he must have wanted to invade your home, but decided against it for some reason.
I figured he thought a man would be more likely to fall for it. My dad’s most likely to give money to “hard-working homeless vets” of all of us. Either that or “Look how non-threatening I am, I don’t even want to talk to a woman alone!” Either way, it freaked me out.
Garfield226, what do you think about his “I need five bucks to get some food” story?
The correct answer to that question is, “Yes, he is in the other room cleaning his guns”.
I’ll go you one better. It has long been my practice to never see visitors unannounced. My friends all know this slight (IMO) eccentricity. Gimme a call and I’ll invite you over. But show up without prior arrangement and I won’t answer the door.
No, the correct answer is, “He’s in other room, crying while he cleans my spare gun. I had to slap him around a little for knocking on my door in the middle of the night.”
I’ve had this happen a time or two. I’ve never really been afraid, just annoyed (because they usually ring the bell at 10-11 at night when my son is asleep and I do not want them waking him up.
One was a neighbour I barely know asking for beer money (he was already drunk and I know anywhere within walking distance was closed) and the other was someone giving us a story about how his dog got hit and a friend told him to go to some place up the road to get cash for a cab but they weren’t answering the door and could he just borrow 20 dollars…
It can make you nervous though. The question about father/husband would’ve given me pause too.
I’m normally a big defender of sketchy-looking homeless people. When they’re in public.
When they’re knocking on my door in the middle of the night, however, they’ve crossed even that line. I have several sketchy-looking homeless friends (and a rather scary-looking dog as a roommate) but I wouldn’t have opened the door either.
Of course, comments resembling “Hello honey, is the man of the house around?” demand an immediate kick in the shins (or worse) for the perpetrator, but I think I could have suppressed the urge in this case.
You are not as alone as you originally thought. I agree with you. Perhaps he saw the light and thought he would try your home to beg a few bucks.
Personally, I would give it to him. Many people don’t take advantage of services provided. Either they choose not to or they are unaware of them. I think the assumption that no one goes hungry in the OP town or anywhere for that matter is unrealistic.
I definitely like the McDonalds coupon idea from above and will try to stock up next time I pass a Mickey Ds.
I’m pretty much with you on that one – people who need food can get it in most places in the country. My guess is that he wanted money for booze or drugs.
Ack!!! You don’t have to open up your door to holler, “Is there an emergency?” Women are naturally nice and predators use that against them all the time. Ted Bundy used to put on a fake cast to beg rides off of women.
Give him money? Not in a million years. That would only encourage him to go knocking on other people’s doors. Not acceptable. I pay lots of money every year in taxes and charities so that people don’t need to go begging door to door.
I don’t open up my door to strangers during the day. I certainly wouldn’t do so at night.
Naah. There but for the grace of God and all that. But if people are going to behave in a threatening manner, then you’re going to feel threatened. That’s life.
I don’t know if its my city or if it’s me or what, but the vast majority of homeless people who come up to me are either extremely rude or threatening or both. I don’t worry about it, because maybe they are mentally ill, but I’m not going to feel bad if my defenses go up when somebody is rude or threatening to me.
A couple of weeks ago, some guy followed me to my car after I declined to give him money. He shouted homophobic slurs all the way and then actually blocked my car so I couldn’t leave. I called the police on my cell and they sent a car over. I wasn’t going to press charges or anything, but he started arguing with them, and they took him away. An unfortunate situation all around.
I don’t answer the door at night. I only answer the phone if the mood hits me.
The last time we had someone at the door at night it was worse than a homeless person. It was a politician. My husband answered the door and when I asked him who it was, he yelled “that little rat bastard that’s running for mayor”. I sunk into the sofa cushion. In fairness he had to walk through signs on our lawn for the other guy to get to our house.
The only problem is that little rat bastard (he is rodent-like) won and I belong to the same pool as little rat bastard’s wife.
See, this is why I keep edged weapons by my front door. Many people are nervous when they see a heavy woman hefting a few feet of shiny steel.
I will say that there are people who are too proud to beg, even when they’re going hungry, but around here is the same as where you’re from, Zsofia. My church has (I think?) the most famous and best known food-outreach group, largely because they’re located right across the street from the Salvation Army. Trinity Center and Caritas are widely known and well funded. If you have ANY money at all, the egg roll carts down on campus sell off their day’s remainder for incredibly cheap – I once got five HUGE egg rolls (about the size of a normal burrito) for a dollar twenty-five.
I don’t give money to people who plead hunger. I give food, because half the time I have some in my car – an apple I forgot to eat for breakfast, some yogurt I’m taking to work, et cetera. If I pull up to a stop and someone’s out there with a sign asking for food money, I’ll give them some fruit or yogurt or hey, even a loaf of good bread. Half the time they would thank me delightedly and profusely. The other half they’d say “Nah, I’ve got bad teeth” when I showed them apples and just a general shaking of the head when I showed them Yoplait. Y’all aren’t hungry, then, I take it.
There was the time my father and I went to breakfast, though, and an obviously destitute fellow – dirty, poorly shaven, but he’d tried to keep himself as warm and well-groomed as he could on the street – came into the restaurant, gazed longingly at the menu, and ordered up a cup of their bottomless coffee. My father instructed the waiter to serve the fellow whatever he wanted and we’d pick up the tab.
The last time someone knocked on my door in the middle of the night it was a surprisingly pushy rep from the cable company urging me to upgrade my service. She really didn’t want to go away, either.
Charming. How do you know he was lying? Why a shit-sucker? He was begging, and chose an inconvenient and annoying time to do it. Just get a different gun for every room of the house. Maybe you can sit in a rocking chair with a shotgun in the front hall and sleep with one eye open.
No doubt about it, CPD are good guys. But, just for the record, if you lived in Forest Acres, the FAs woulda had the guy face-down and spread-eagled in the middle of Trenholm Road before you hung up.
