Fuck you, Popular Science, with a barbed-wire encrusted dildo (telemarketer rant, mil

The BBQ Pit
1

Last year I had a subscription to Popular Science. I think I’d gotten it through the child of a friend of Mrs. Blue Sky, I don’t recall exactly. It was at some ridiculously low rate, something like $7.95 for a year.

I let the subscription run out earlier this year, because, let’s face it, the magazine ain’t what it used to be.

In the past six months, I have gotten no less than 12 calls from some company called “Dial America” trying to get me to renew. I tell them time and time again that I’m not interested and would they please remove my name from their calling lists. Obviously, they aren’t doing it. I tell each subsequent dumbass the name of the previous dumbass who promised to take me off the list and, gasp!, there’s no record of it!

[sarcasm on]Imagine my surprise![sarcasm off]

Just last week they call and I give “Steve” an earful. He absolutely promises he will remove my name from their lists.

Tonight, guess who calls? Yep, Dial America trying to get me to renew. It goes a little something like this:

Asshole: I’m calling from Dial America representing Popular Sci…

MBS: I have told your company at least 15 times this year that I’m not interested and yet you continue to call. I have asked repeatedly for my name to be removed from your list and yet you continue to call me. Every time you say the same thing, “We don’t have a record of that”

Asshole: Well I don’t have a record of that otherwise I wouldn’t be calling you now. Did you you get the person’s name?

MBS: Why? It obviously doesn’t matter who I tell because they aren’t doing what I ask.

Asshole: Well, I’ll take your name off now.

MBS: You do that. The next time I won’t be so nice.
To that telemarketer and any other who may be reading this:

I DON’T GIVE A RED HOT FUCK IF YOU LOSE YOUR JOB COME OCTOBER 1st. YOU CAN FUCKING ROT IN THE FUCKING GUTTER FOR ALL I CARE. YOU DON’T LISTEN. YOU LIE. YOU DON’T HAVE AN INTERNAL “DO NOT CALL” AND DON’T FUCKING TELL ME OTHERWISE.

And to Popular Science: I WOULDN’T TAKE YOUR FUCKING RAG IF IT CAME WITH A BLOWJOB WITH EVERY FUCKING PAGE. DIE YOU SHIT-SUCKING BASTARDS!

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:smack:

Title ran too long. Should read …telemarketer rant, mild…

3

That would make a GREAT sig

Anyway, isn’t there some way to sue if they don’t take you off the lists and keep calling? I know how you feel with this. I’ve lately been getting the recorded message telemarketers- you can’t even tell them to take you off! I thought those were illegal, too.

What a pain in the nards.

4

Sheesh.
Or get them to use a razor-wire encrusted dildo, with barbs, it`ll do way more damage.
A blow-job with every page, for only $7.95?, for a whole year?, where do I sign up?

5

Ugh. Dial America…a girl I used to work with had a dad who’s a VP for them. She spent a summer working for daddy and writing stuff for them to say in front of Congress when the do-not-call list was being considered.

Pure evil. Fucking Dial America.

6

Uh, doesn’t that violate telecommunication codes? Unless they’re a charity and/or you’re a business…if you’re feeling really aggravated, you could drag them into small claims court for it. :smiley:

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Well, yeah, but then it becomes a matter of “too much hassle.”

Unless they’re calling every fifteen minutes or something.

At my house, whenever anyone hears me shout “NO! FUCK YOU!” followed by a loud click, everyone knows I’ve just dealt with a telemarketer. Eventually, they’ll yank you, simply because it’s a waste of their time to call someone who will not buy their specific product.

Although the way you describe THESE folks, they won’t even take a number off their list if it turns out to be DISCONNECTED…