Bastard goat raping program. Okay here’s the story:
Prologue, some time in the past (most likely the dark ages):
Microsoft employee: Hey lets NOT make task manager halt all other programs when it runs. That way if a program goes haywire and DoSes the computer, while you’re working there’s nothing you can do except sit there and watch for a good 3 or 4 or 5 minutes… on up to a few galactic rotations while the task manager slow redraws, or do a force restart and loose what you were working on.
Other Microsoft employee: great idea, hey you up for some goat raping?
Microsoft employee: nah I’m just going to beat these kittens, hey we still up for torching the orphanage later?
Other Microsoft employee: You know it.
Present day Michigan:
I just spent an hour fighting with the infernal task manager to figure out which program was DoSing me. I could have did it in 2 or 3 minutes but some deranged programmer with diseased pig bile for brains decided that instead of making the task manager halt the system, like in windows 9x, windows NT based system’s task manager wouldn’t. Restarting wasn’t an option because of dataloss. So I had to sit and endure that sadistic program’s taunts of only showing windows one lethargic piece at a time. Like it thought it was some kind of strip tease wooooo hard drive cranking is so sensual.
Anyway the rage is drained from my system but I think I still owe microsoft this:
Fuck you with the largest pointiest stick from the painfull fuck tree, and may that stick have on it’s end rubbing alcohol, chill peppers, and stuffed dead hedgehog.
eh it’s not the same, should have written the material down when I was mad, oh well.
So keeping in mind the stuff above is hyperbole, what do computers do to tick you off?