Fuck you, you hunch-backed, drunk, shrub-pissing motherfucker

[I_m_Ron_Burgundy]

The non-emergency police # is usually 311

[Winston_Smith]

@Contrapuntal

Actually, hunch-backed is the first thing he called him. Go ahead. Read the title. And then read the rest of what he said. Where the fuck did all that bile come from?

What does being hunchbacked have to do with it? If it’s PC to refrain from abusing those less fortunate than we, then I’m guilty. If it’s PC to refrain from calling the cops because some guy is being “a scumbag” within eye-shot of his precious kids, then I’m guilty. To me, it just seems like good manners, and basic human decency. If some guy is so drunk in the early AM that he is pissing in public, my guess is he needs compassion, not anger. If the OP is concerned about his kids, (said kids being mysteriously absent in the OP,) this would have been a good opportunity to exhibit a little generosity of spirit, rather than go ballistic and call the cops.

He was pissing on bushes, not flowers. You have read the OP, right?

If you’re so fucking thin-skinned, maybe you shouldn’t be reading Pit threads. Seriously: WTF? Why don’t you go find a fucking kitten pic thread or something? I’m trying to vent about a drunken, deformed, syphalitic hunch-back sullying my fucking flowering shrub here.

Rhodys flower, by the way. I’m liable to pit you next for you lack of knowledge in the realm of flowering shrubs.

[tomndebb]

@Winston Smith

No self-respecting republican wears plaid flannel shirts.

Not self-respecting? Or not Republican?

[Contrapuntal]

@Winston Smith

Er. This is the Pit, right? Isn’t this a sort of playground for venting spleen?

Sorry. Have I hurt your feelings? This is the Pit, right? Do you want some special dispensation from having your asshattery pointed out to you? Try calling for Sanctuary! Sanctuary! See if that helps.

[athelas]

Looks like we’ve got a Quiddity successor.

[CaerieD]

@Sapo

and alcoholism is a disease. Don’t make fun of the poor sick man.

C’mon. We go through this every time. Pittees are always hunched, ugly, pimply, fat, farting, matthaired, crookteethed losers. The pitter doesn’t mind hunched, ugly, pimply, fat, farting, matthaired, crookteethed law-abiding citizens that bring them flowers. It is what they did, not what they look like. The description is just for effect.

And it’d be pretty boring if the Pit was full of rants along the lines of “Fuck you, you Brad Pitt look-alike, perfectly toned, veneer-toothed, mentally stable shrub-pissing motherfucker.” It just doesn’t have the same ire as picking on the Pittee’s weaknesses.

[Winston_Smith]

@Contrapuntal

Sorry. Have I hurt your feelings? This is the Pit, right? Do you want some special dispensation from having your asshattery pointed out to you? Try calling for Sanctuary! Sanctuary! See if that helps.

OK. I’ll tell you what. I’ll apologise for being distasteful, uncompassionate and crude if you’ll stop pointing out how distasteful, uncompassionate and crude I am. Is that a good compromise? Here you go…
Contrapuntal: I apologise for being distasteful, uncompassionate and crude. Nonetheless, that drunken, trollish, hunch-backed shiteater made me very angry by urinating on my precious shrubberies, and I wish a pox upon him. I bunch of poxes, as a matter of fact, all over his fucking hump.

There. Happy?

[Uvula_Donor]

@Contrapuntal

Sorry. Have I hurt your feelings? This is the Pit, right? Do you want some special dispensation from having your asshattery pointed out to you? Try calling for Sanctuary! Sanctuary! See if that helps.

Fuck are you getting all butthurt over a goddamn hunchback, anyway? Your mom a fucking hunchback or something?

I like a hunchback bitch. Y’can set a beer up on the hump while she’s blowing ya.

[lieu]

[Marty Feldman]

Could 'ave been worse… could 'ave told him to “get bent.”

[/Marty Feldman]

[BubbaDog]

@Contrapuntal

Actually, hunch-backed is the first thing he called him. Go ahead. Read the title. And then read the rest of what he said. …

He was pissing on bushes, not flowers. You have read the OP, right?

Whoops. Folks, this is a reminder. When dealing with a high-horsed PC dumbass, always make sure that you get your nits picked up properly.

I stand corrected. After re-reading it should be plain to everyone that the OP really wasn’t angry over his “bush” being pissed on since no flowers were involved and that the pissing itself had nothing to do with the situation.

[Uncommon_Sense]

So Contrapuntal, are you going to come to the defense of every person that gets attacked in the pit and made fun of for their alleged physical deformities/appearance?

Does GW really look like a chimp?
Did that drunk ex-girlfriends labia really kick up dust behind her when she walked?
Did the huge asshole that cut me off really have a large butt?
Was the guy in the OP really a hunchback?
'Cmon…

[Omegaman]

Sorry your day’s off to a crappy start, my friend. Try to have a good one anyway. I know you well enough to know that when you said the guy was a hunchback you weren’t hating on him for it. Don’t let others judgments of you bother you. You know whats in your heart. Your childrens feelings I suspect. Strong motivation to be outraged I imagine.

[Omegaman]

Shit, Winston , I hope this isn’t going to be one of those days when everything is fucked up.

[What_Exit]

I read the title and said to myself, “Self, this should not take long for some PC Dumb-Ass to wander in and complain about the hunch-back part or suggest **Winston ** do something to help the poor drunk instead of heaving insults upon him.”

Well, I was right, it did not take long.

Is Quiddity really gone? That would be good news to me.

Winston, pit away, there is little else you can do or should do. Maybe the police will haul him away for a while. It sounds like matching descriptions should be pretty easy as you have successfully described him.

I don’t think you should engage him in conversation or hosing, he might up the ante and cause some real trouble for you or worse for your kids.

Jim

[Uvula_Donor]

@What Exit?

I don’t think you should engage him in conversation or hosing, he might up the ante and cause some real trouble for you or worse for your kids.

I have a hunch the guy would get all bent outta shape.

[Winston_Smith]

Yes, our town drunk just happens to be a hunch-back (and a festering shitsack to boot).

[OneCentStamp]

@Uvula Donor

I have a hunch the guy would get all bent outta shape.

HAHAHA.

[What_Exit]

@Winston Smith

Yes, our town drunk just happens to be a hunch-back (and a festering shitsack to boot).

Hey, my cousin is a festering shitsack, how dare you use their disability to insult these poor people.

Uvula Donor

[Count_Blucher]

@lieu

[Marty Feldman]

Could 'ave been worse… could 'ave told him to “get bent.”

[/Marty Feldman]

At least he didn’t say, “Walk this way…!” while pissing.

[elbows]

Don’t ask me how, but as a student I came into the knowledge that if you disturb a man while pissing he cannot just stop the flow and zip up. Not like girls who can make it stop and go like masters. I discovered if you wait until the flow is really going and then startle them they usually zip up rather hastily and, in the process, pee all over themselves.

And who, my friends, doesn’t like to see a beer soaked hunch back piss all over himself first thing in the morning?