Fuck Your Business Model, Doctor

The BBQ Pit
1

My Dr. ( in network ) referred me to another Dr. ( In Network? Specialist. ) to have something checked. I called them, provided insurance information, and made the appointment. I was nervous… but it had to be done.

I show up on time and am sitting in the waiting room playing on my phone ( I said I was nervous ). My name gets called and I’m directed to an office. and I nicely greeted the person behind the desk wi a smile and a “good morning, Dr.”.

“Oh, I’m not a Dr.; I’m the Office Manager. It’s about today’s visit.”

“Oh, OK… do you need to copy my insurance card?”

“I’d like you to fill out the rest of this form. Full legal name, social, wife’s legal name, social, full names and addresses of both your employers, both your home and work numbers, the name address and number for two relatives not living with you, and then sign at the bottom”

I felt like I was applying for a loan at a car dealership! It some pretty blunt over kill.

I got the info, filled out the form and I thought that was that.

“OK… now that will be $500 cash.”

( to my credit, I did not say “What The Fuck!?” out loud. )

It smiled sweetly and then said “Well, we might accept a check.”

( to my credit, I again did not say “What The Fuck!?” out loud. )

“What about my insurance? You’re in plan.”
“Oh, we’ll apply to them and then they’ll pay you.”
“OK… well then bill me to my home.”

It smiled sweetly again and said, “No, you pay… Now.”
I paused… stunned… and then got the follow-up punch.

“No cash now, no Dr.”

Realizing that I was over a barrel, I put it on VISA… and saw the Dr., who was actually very nice. The Dr., while carving me up, mentioned how the prices of Jags these days were just so horrible. The price of everything was going up! My heart ( and where the Dr. hacked out a chunk of me to biopsy ) just bled. /s

( FTR- phone call two weeks later…the biopsy was benign. Yay me. )

A month later, I get a call at my home. It was The Human Mosquito calling to set up a follow-up appointment. Not having a Human Mosquito sized can of RAID to spray into that smug little face, I ignored the call. It kept calling back. It began leaving messages.
Evidently It just wouldn’t accept, “No.” ( Or “I don’t care if my parents DO owe you $2… F.O. and go saw down a pine tree down with your Mosquito Proboscis and then shove your Schwinn Bike ALL the way up your ass.” ) for an answer.

I didn’t actually say that last part; it was more of an “Ally McBeal” soliloquy… and before anyone asks, Barry White was Not involved.

What I did do was call at 3 AM and leave a message on the office machine.

I told It that benign was benign and that was that. That I understood their business model but that my money was good at any shop on the street… and that paying another $500 for a pat on the head and a “Good Boy” was against my business model.

I think told it to thank the Dr, wish the Dr. a Happy Thanksgiving, and to remind them that
‘Jaguar Sales Days are Here..!’

2

The people who play nice, pay for the people who don’t.

They have people who don’t pay their bills. So you, who do, are paying more, and paying it upfront.

Something like this is happening where I work. Collection of jerkwads can’t be assed to get there on time, and think we’ve already moved to a 4-day work week in the US.

So those of us who come in early for planning time, get pulled out for regular work, and we get told we are staying late because 5 people called off.

Then we get a note from upstairs to watch the overtime.

3

Ah, you work on Earth.

4

Humanity: It’s why humans can’t have nice things.

5

Every time I read stuff like this I thank my lucky stars that I live in Canada, where the great Tommy Douglas (who should be elevated to sainthood) gave us universal health care, and where doctors’ offices handle neither credit cards nor cash because they’re not allowed to charge anything for medically necessary procedures. The “business model” is pretty simple: cure and comfort the sick, as you were taught in medical school. Then drive home in your Jaguar, Mercedes, or BMW – I’m fine with that – you earned it. Doctors are well paid, just not directly by me.

6

This particular problem has at its core jerks on the office staff, and surely that condition must exist even in the land of our friendly neighbors to the north.

It’s places like that office with petty rules that cause me to go elsewhere…quickly.

As an example of how petty office staff can add suck to the transaction without money being involved, I am reminded of when I went with my wife to see a dermatologist, for the purpose of checking on a sketchy mole. When I started to go in back the staff told me I wasn’t allowed to go in the examining room with her.
That was a first for me. I believe everyone should have a wingman with them when going to the doctor, if only to take notes and ask questions that the patient is possibly too flustered to think about.
They explained that was their policy, and they were a bit snotty about it. I pulled the language card and said “Well, what do you do when someone’s first language isn’t English and there are medical terms they don’t understand?” to which they said “Well…if that is an issue we would arrange for an interpreter.”

Something funny was going on there and I wanted nothing to do with it. The next dermatologist place I went to was absolutely normal and had no such rule.

7

The OP’s experience sounds wildly atypical. Never had to pay for a covered service upfront. And if it wasn’t covered i.e. dental, never before being seen.

I would have walked out.

And be thankful that you don’t live in places like Nova Scotia, where it commonly takes six months or more to get to see a specialist (plus extra time to arrange and get results of a biopsy). Kind of long to wait if you’re worried about whether a tumor is benign or not.

8

Is it your impression that the health care needs of relatively low-population, relatively remote areas would be better served by the self-interests of rapacious “free enterprise” ? How would that work?

9

Sorry to put a crack in your idyll, but there’s room for improvement.

10

Months long wait times for new patients for specialists is the norm for many areas in the US. This issue is not a solved one, regardless of system.

11

As Larry’s doctor told him on Curb Your Enthusiasm after forcing him to pay up front: “Hey, look on the bright side - you’ll get miles!”

12

Nothing quite like “Mr. Jones, we had a vascular specialist look at your ultrasound and he said that the blood clot is superficial and can be treated with anti inflammatory medication. Here’s a prescription for ibuprofen and another to protect your stomach from the ibuprofen…and he wants to see you in a week.”

then later on that day…

“Sorry, but Dr. Smith doesn’t have any appointments available until June…yes, June of next year.”

Why do specialists tell patients at the hospital “See me in a week” when their office will tell the same patient “Looks like we can fit you in next summer” and it is all spoken without irony or blinking, as if it’s all perfectly normal.

13

I live in a low populated area with a shortage of medical services across the board. Expect a 1-2 month wait to see your primary care provider. You have to go to “urgent care” or the emergency room if you need to be seen sooner than later. This is in the US.

14

Arguably, not only in Canda, though:

Mirror, Mirror 2024: A Portrait of the Failing U.S. Health System: Comparing Performance in 10 Nations

15

My lovely wife tripped and hit her head. We went to the ED for assessment. She was given one Tylenol tablet. The tablet cost $28.

16

This is the point where I say “Why do you need my social security number” and “I don’t have a work number, leave a message on my cell phone” and “Fuck you, I haven’t got “two living relatives”, living with me or not”

I had an issue with a retina specialists office that was pushing about things and demanding I pay first and get reimbursed later because apparently they had issues with health insurance coverage. The second time they pulled that on me I called my insurance company rep and we had an impromptu conference call right there at the window next to the waiting room. They tried to pull HIPAA on me but I loudly barked that I wasn’t ashamed to be having vision problems and didn’t care who might overhear but we were going to get this settled NOW.

Yes, I can be a pain in the ass.

But I did get it straightened out.

Fuck their policy. That’s sounds sketchy as hell.

I normally go alone to medical visits, even to “procedures”, but if I feel a need to have someone with me then it’s not negotiable - they come with me. I have NEVER had a doctor’s office refuse to allow a “wingman”.

17

My husband refuses to give his SS. He says they don’t need it except for bill collection, and with major health care data breaches, it’s too risky.

For some reason I’m thinking of the neurologist I went to see once who required me to sign a document stating that I understood that because of Democrats and their horrible policies, my medical expenses would be higher.

I left.

18

That warrants a report to the licensing board.

19

The reality is that Canada’s health care system needs some serious work to address service deficiencies in rural areas, doctor shortages, and wait times every where. Its not just an issue of spending more money either as there are many countries that achieve better health service levels without spending as much as we do. It is not simply a national issue as the provinces all have their own health care systems.

However the American model is certainly not the answer.

20

Somehow I wonder if the Dr, still get that nice new forest green Jag that they had been drooling over.

Also, I’m left to wonder about a prior comment: that blood thirsty scumbag Office Managers are there, patient after patient, because the seemingly nice Drs ( who are competent ) hire them to be such absolute sacks of shit so they can collect every poker pot and still do their jobs while humming Disney Show Tunes.

“Some day Elon Musk will come…
Dum-dum da-da-dee da dum…”