I make a pitcher of iced tea. I put it in the fridge for an hour. Then, I FILL a cup with ice, pour iced tea into it, and wait a couple minutes for the ice to do its job.
Cautiously, greedily, I lift the cup to my lips and tilt it, waiting for an ice-cold barrage of iced-tea goodness to spill into my mouth…
…and nearly gag when lukewarm liquid flows into the back of my throat!
Oh why oh why, Gods of Tea, have you forsaken me? Am I never ever to drink the sweet nectar of which I am so fond, in a chilled state? What blasphemy have I committed that I am forever sworn to tepid tea?
Shouldn’t this be more of a GQ as to how to make ice tea that’s not hot? Well, since you didn’t ask here’s how anyway.
Typically (Oops! Forgot this was the pit for sec…) you cretinous fuckhead, you should use a reduced (this means less Einstein) amount of boiling hot water (1/2 or 1/3 of what you normally use) and the same amount of tea. So what you have is tea concentrate at the end of the steeping process if you haven’t scalded yourself to death by this point. Add cold water and some ice to this and stir (make the spoon go around and around). The tea is only barely lukewarm at this point before going into the fridge and after about 10-15 minutes (or less) a tall glass of ice will suffice to make and keep the tea icy cold.
Here’s a hint: an hour in the freezer will do better than an hour in the fridge. But if you’re using hot water, it’s not going to make much of a difference.
Depending on how fussy you are about the tea itself, you might consider the latest from Lipton: Cold Brew. Dunno how they do it, but the tea brews in cold water.
Doesn’t really meet my needs, because hate Lipton. Gimme Paradise anyday.
Or you could buy the ONLY prepared tea I have ever seen that has NOTHING added: Tejava. Just great tea, sweeten or not as you like.
Thanks to a recent incident, I just feel compelled to add a cautionary note here. Don’t forget what you put in the freezer! I had a friend over for dinner earlier this week, who put a couple of warm Cokes in the freezer, then promptly forgot about them while I made dinner, ate cleaned up, etc. Four days later I was cleaning frozen Cokeslime off the bottom of the freezer. My friend is banned from my kitchen. Coke Icee good, frozen Cokeslime bad.
I try and I try but it’s just never enough. Damn right this thread is lame. It’s the dusky skinned, red headed bastard child of a GQ question grafted onto the body of a half hearted, whining Pit rant. Did this poor thread every really have chance? No! Of course it didn’t and now, pezpunk you come here to mock it and kick sand in it’s face.
It works like this. Get a big jar–if you’re feeling extravagant, you can buy a special “Sun Tea” jar (at the grocery store or Target or local equivalent), often available with a fancy spigot near the bottom of the jar. The spigot makes dispensing easy, but I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t lose its little rubber thing or otherwise become useless halfway through the summer. Fill the jar with cold water. Add tea bags–no need for any special brand or blend, just use your favorite. Put it on the porch, or sidewalk, or windowsill, or wherever is sunny, for 6-8 hours. It’s tea!
I’ve also made this entirely in the fridge. That is, I’ve filled the jar with cold water, added tea bags, and placed the whole thing in the fridge. Next day, cold tea. It doesn’t taste exactly the same as sun tea, just as sun tea doesn’t taste quite exactly like the kind made hot, but I enjoy them all. Your personal preference may vary. Try it.
Sure, it won’t work if you want tea right now. But the preparation is so easy that you’ll find it a simple matter to always have tea in the fridge. At least, I do.
I found a tea concentrate at the grocery store. Add one capful of tea per 2 quarts of cold water. Voila! Cold tea. Tastes great, too. Just like brewed tea. Sorry, I can’t remember the brand name. If I get time, I’ll look for it and post it later.
And yes, this is probably the lamest rant I’ve ever seen in The Pit.
As a tea fan myself, not only do I feel Dark’s pain acutely, I also find this an entirely pitworthy topic.
Fuck all the rest of you.
Shit, now I’m thirsty. Do you know how hard it is to find the pre-brewed handy single-serving bottles of unsweetened tea? Oh sure, rasberry tea. Sweetened with lemon. Fancy-schmancy green tea with hibiscus, honey, and ground up butterfly testicles in a fancy collectible bottle. I can find that shit in spades. But plain unsweetened iced tea takes some searching. And some walking. Thanks guys.
THANK you, CrankyAsAnOldMan! These people simply don’t understand the plight that true iced tea drinkers face!
And yes, this rant may be lame. But isn’t it refreshing to see someone who’s so untroubled that this is the biggest thing I can complain about (despite my other thread…which I’m trying to get over)?
Don’t you people read the works of the great Cecil Adams? I can’t beleive you let this reply go!!! First off why would ANYONE believe that hot water chills faster, it violates natural laws!
Lisa! In this house we obey the Laws of the Thermodynamics!
Homer Simpson
Second off use common sense…if the water is already cold then it is going to ‘chill’ pretty damn fast, compared to say…boiling water, numb nuts.
Here in the sweltering Midwest,I have now placed a third pair if ice cubes in my glass of Coke, over the past 10 minutes or so. The Coke just laughs at them. “Gone in 60 Seconds.”
Sorry folks but it’s got to be done. It’s tough love time.
Due to the apparent absence of any Pit moderators with the fortitide to do what needs to be done to this, the lamest Pit thread of all time, for compassion’s sake I’ve got to take the law into my own hands and deliver a mercy killing to this sad little mis-shapen creature too foul mouthed to be a GQ and too incipiently GQ to be a creditable rant.
Thread wags tail excitedly: “Want some sun tea mister?!”
Sorry kid: “Bang!”
Thread looks puzzled: “Did you know hot water chills faster…”
Die mutant creature: Bang! Bang!
Thread is apparently resistant to gunfire: “Why won’t the fridge cool me down?”
