Fucking Chase and their tautological "Free Checking!"

And in fact, the only one on that page that even uses the word “free” - My Access Checking - specifically says “No minimum balance required”.

[QUOTE=World Eater]
So I could open a “free” checking account, keep $1499 in my account, and lo and behold, it isn’t free.

Different banks have different conditions and minimum balances, some including $0

What I said was perfectly true.
[/QUOTE]

I’ll quote you a third time:

There are TWO other conditions by which that account will be free. Your statement is still false.

Checking accounts that require a minimum balance to waive the monthly fee are never called “free checking”.

[QUOTE=lowbrass]
And in fact, the only one on that page that even uses the word “free” - My Access Checking - specifically says “No minimum balance required”.
[/QUOTE]

We looking at the same page?

“FREE of monthly fees” starts off every account I can see.

Or are you saying that it’s not misleading because the word free isn’t in the account name?

If so we’ll use “Chase Free Checking” which charges $6 a month if used without direct deposit. Last time I checked $72 a year wasn’t free.

[QUOTE=lowbrass]
I’ll quote you a third time:
There are TWO other conditions by which that account will be free. Your statement is still false.
[/quote]

And is it still false if those other conditions are not met?

They’re just pawned off as “no fee” or “free of monthly fees”, which of course has a completely different implication. :rolleyes:

[QUOTE=World Eater]
We looking at the same page?

[/quote]

Apparently not.

I don’t see that on ANY of them. For example “Standard Checking” says: “No monthly service charge if balance requirements are met”. Clearly, waiving the montly charge is conditional upon a balance requirement being met. That’s why they call it “Standard Checking” as opposed to “Free Checking”.

What location did you enter? Is it different in your location?

O.K., fourth time:

Break this sentence down logically:

X often ONLY has quality Y if condition Z exists.

This means that in the cases of X to which ‘often’ refers, quality Y CANNOT exist unless condition Z exists.

In order for that sentence to be true, there must be at least one instance of X where, if condition Z does not exist, then quality Y CANNOT exist.

If not - if in fact in ALL cases of X, it is true that Y can be present without condition Z existing, then the statement is not true.

In every example you have given so far, the monthly fee can be waived without the balance necessarily being above a given amount.

Therefore your statement is still false.

Here’s my “free checking” story:

I went into my bank (Colonial Bank) for some other business, and saw a poster saying, “Ask about our FREE CHECKING, offer ends soon”.

Since I was paying $6 a month for my checking, I did just that, the conversation went like this:

ME: I’d like to ask about the free checking - is there a minimum balance?

BANK: No, there’s no minimum.

ME: Well, great then, I’d like to switch over to that.

BANK: You already have an account here?

ME: Yes, I have a checking account, and a savings account.

BANK: Well, that offer is for new customers only.

ME: Oh, you mean they get free checking for 6 months or something like that?

BANK: No, there’s no time limit.

ME: You mean it’s free checking for life, with no minimum balance?

BANK: Yes, but it’s for new customers only.

ME: You mean, I have direct payroll deposit, two accounts, and a mortgage here, and I’ve paid $6 a month for checking for the last 5 years, but the next guy that walks in the door with a hundred bucks cash gets free checking for life?

BANK: Well, um, yes.

{long pause}

Me: So, if I go over to that teller, and get all my money out of my checking account - then drive 5 miles down the road to one of your other offices, I can open a new account and get free checking for life?
Why wouldn’t I do that?

Bank: let me talk to the manager…

They gave me the “free checking” deal.

But I still pay for internet access on the account.

You got a greeting that started with “H”. How’s $20 sound?