I have to go to Duh Moines, Iowa tomorrow. I have to do an audit for one of our clients. One of our cheap ass clients who won’t pay to have me fly out there, so I have to drive.
We did the math, and they save $180 lousy dollars by having me drive out there instead of fly. Can you believe that? And it’s a multi million dollar company too! If I gave their name 98% of you would instantly know who I was talking about! Oh, I get paid for the drive time, and have meals and stuff paid for, and I get a company vehicle and all, but Iowa is so fuckin’ boring! That drive makes my brain numb! (I’ve had to do this before!). The people there are great, but that state is a vacuume of scenery! It’s like North Dullkota with a slower speed limit! All alone in that car, no one to talk to, and 7 hours each way of country or religous radio stations. All to save these pricks $180? And don’t get me started on Western Ill-annoy!
Anybody else work for or have customers/clients that fucking cheap?
What, no cassette player in the company car? Then take a walkman and cassettes of cool music or comedy. Just be carefull of the Highway Patrol.
Lemme see if I got this right…you’re gonna do an audit on this company, and they’re too fucking cheap to spring for the extra $180 on the airfare? Something tells me they’re being pennywise and poundfoolish. I mean, couldn’t an unscrupulous auditor FUCK THEM OVER ROYALLY in the audit, given half a chance? Not that you’d do that kinda thing, but geez louise…they seem to be shitting in their own mess kit…
What is the mileage? The government standard travel cost is $.315 a mile, which always netted me money back when I go on business trips.
Hand them that bill, and I’ll bet it’s more than flying.
And this is also perfectly acceptable. (Of course, you do not add the costs of gas and what not - the mileage figure is all-inclusive, but way more anyway). If they bitch, point out to them that it is exactly how you are supposed to claim travel expenses on your taxes and I have yet to see a business not use this as the way they reimburse for auto travel.
That said, if you’re doing it with a rental car, you can’t do it.
Yer pal,
Satan
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If you have to drive out there, you must charge him for the time driving there also. Say your company charges $80 per hour, then it’s 14 X $80 = $1120. I consider that reasonable.
You say you get paid drive time, what’s that? $8/hour??? That’s $112 for 14 hours of driving. Why don’t you tell your boss to apply it towards airfare. This way he doesn’t tire his employee out.
You’re in the service industry, you deal with people. If you don’t know this already, people are fucking idiots no matter what kind of industry you’re in. I have a core of customers I love, but there are millions of other customers in line waiting to screw you.
If I were you, I just wouldn’t do it. Talk to your boss and get flown there.
Lets see, Iowa, land of the cornfields and bean fields… Well, at least if you get hungry, you can have the pick of the crop 
:eek: I wouldn’t cross the street to piss on my boss if he were on fire for 8 stupid bucks! My salary, if it were divided up hourly, would equal about $21.10. Heres how the billing works: 800 miles on company car billed at $250. My drive time (because it is drive time it is billed less than normal work time) is billed round trip $600. total to drive there-billed at $850. Because I wouldn’t be staying on a saturday, the round trip flight was $450 for non-stop, but I didn’t check the price, I’ll bet it could be gotten cheaper. Then a rental car for 2 days, with mileage and gas charges:$150. Total to fly:$600.
What a minute you say! That makes flying cheaper!
Yes. I just found out today that my boss is billing more on the mileage than I thought! (I thought he was giving them a flat rate!)
So it turns out, the cheap bastard isn’t the client (like I was told) but my boss!!:mad:
He actually insisted that I drive so he can make that little bit of chump change on the miliage billing!! Can you fucking believe that???
I work for an international company, 100% of you would recognize the name if I gave it! And he’s worried about a couple hundred bucks profit??? Jesus Christ!!! I just got back tonight and found all this out! Now I’m really pissed, and my back hurts from all the driving!
And then…
Somewhere along the line, the other 2% of us got clued in!
No, he is auditing the company that 98 percent of us would recgonize. He is working for the company 100 percent would recgonize.
Now, had I read the OP more carefully, I would have picked up on that…
shit…