Fun at the Limp Icks

I was watching the Olympics (Limp Icks, if you all were watching, makes sense). All the vaulters are having problems landing and taking off and all manner of things. I don’t know how long this has been going on . . . but we know it’s affected quite a few females in the all-around competition.

So the people in charge of the thing decided . . . “What the hell, let’s go see if there’s something wrong with the apparatus,” because one of the vaulters said the vault just didn’t feel right.

Lo and behold, they get their heads out of their asses and the vault is discovered to be 5 centimeters (c. 2 inches) too low.

Holy felching SHIT! What kind of cum-bathed ass-lint-reaming vomitous pile of radioactive burned colostomy bag doesn’t ensure the fucking vault is high enough?

My father thinks the people in charge there should be crucified. I’m opting for traditional Halloween sacrifices. Here’s what happens:

  1. Get a bunch of morons (already provided by the Limp Icks).

  2. Get a bunch of red-hot pokers.

  3. Stick the pokers up the asses of the morons . . . until the pokers hit their brains, IIRC.

  4. Rip out the hearts of the sacrifices.

  5. Feed still-beating hearts to sacrifices.

  6. Let stand as an example to aforementioned morons/colostomy bags in the future so nobody makes such a hideously obvious and embarassing mistake.

  7. EVER.

Sounds like fun, no?

I was with you until #3.

That line presupposes that those morons have brains, and after what happened, I don’t see any evidence of this…


Yer pal,
Satan - Commissioner, The Teeming Minions

*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Five months, one week, six days, 3 hours, 56 minutes and 55 seconds.
6646 cigarettes not smoked, saving $830.82.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 2 days, 1 hour, 50 minutes.

*“I’m a big Genesis fan.”-David B. (Amen, brother!)

I thought that said “Mormons” and was thinking "what did **they ** do??

I can’t believe they don’t just have a re-do of the whole competition. They awarded medals based on some of the vaults done on the bad equipment. Also, naturally the atheletes were all freaked out from taking a header off the damned thing and were too shook up to perform correctly when they FIXED it. Jesus, what a mess.

Zette

Yeah that all sucked!

My favorite little Ice Queen, Svetlana Khorkina got really screwed over by that.

Goddammit she should’ve been allowed to redo not just the vault but also the uneven bars because she was so rattled by falling on the vault.

Maybe then I could’ve gotten a smile out of that russian princess.

what could’ve been…

Ugh. I thought nothing could make me feel bad for that scrawny, sore-loser bitch Khorkina until I found out that the vault was messed up. Even she doesn’t deserve to lose because of equipment failure. I agree with Zette - a redo of the whole competition should have been called for.

This Olmypics is fast becoming the Games of Dodgy Equipment. Last week the IOC found that the scales used in the judo weigh-ins had been tampered with. Did they, say, get a new set of scales for the official weigh-ins? Not a chance. Instead, they just re-calibrated the scales, not checking to see if there had been further tampering, and weighed everyone on the same set. Debbie Allen of the UK ended up being over the weight limit–by 100 grams.

If I’d been disqualified by a set of tampered scales that put me 100 grams over the limit, I would be seriously tampering with the judges’ lives.

Could be worse:

Diving well three feet too shallow.

My question is: who the fuck do we blame for these blatant examples of incompetency? How fucking easy is it to make sure the damned vault is 5 fucking centimeters higher? How easy is it to figure out how deep the diving well is?

And how badly does this shine on the IOC, or does it?

what will they not think of next?
Javelin storage under the pole vault area?

Yeah, the Vault was a big-time fiasco. The coaches and everyone else involved should be still screaming about it. One of those kids could have broken some bones, or worse, the score be damned.

Here’s my list of prospects for future Olympic events:

Up Stream Kayak

Wind Tunnel Trampoline

Trebuchet Gymnastics (judged on distance, form and landing)

Mine Field Basketball (then even I’d watch that dumb game)

Team and Individual Roller Derby

This post perfectly hits the one thing about the Olympics that I really hate. The organizers and IOC are sooooo proud, and so full of themselves, they never admit when they are wrong, and they almost never do the right thing. The right thing would have been to re-do the vaults on the next night, disruption to their precious clockwork schedule be fucked!

These girls trained, beat themselves, and slaved for 4 Goddman years to get here, only to be pimp-slapped by the IOC and the organizers. If I was in charge of the US team, I would have walked out and gone home in protest. They need to do the right thing and focus on fair competition, and stop waiting around panting like dogs for the next bribe from SLC.

Anthracite, you got it dead on…

I hate it when this government or that boycotts the games over some bullshit politics that have nothing to do with them, but I hate it even worse when eneptitude or downright dishonesty screw then up.

I worked and slaved on that post for 4 Goddamn minutes and I didn’t even spell check it.