Fun facts about Australia

[Princhester]

@Dogzilla

Because, while anyone with African descent might always be African-something… once a person becomes a naturalized citizen of another country, they can no longer be African-American. If the person was born in Australia but has African heritage, you do understand why you can’t describe that person as an African-American, right? That person is African-Australian.

Well except that the “African” in “African-American” is there merely because about a zillion generations back the person’s antecedents were African.

So if the bar is that low, I think the person in question would be African-American-Australian. Unless they had also spent some of their formative years growing up in Austria and Afghanistan. In which case they would be an African-Austrian-Afghan-American-Australian.

[Siam_Sam]

Regardless of what many Thais I’ve met believe, Australians don’t speak German, and their capital is not Vienna.

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

@Rysdad

All Australians drink excessively, even on work nights, and are hilarious to watch and listen to, especially when Australia is playing New Zeland in cricket.

At least the ones I met when I was there did/were.

Australian cockatoos don’t say “Hello.” They say, “G’day.” I swear! I heard 'em.

Australian spider webs are large enough to capture a Volkswagen, and contain 12,538 humongous spiders.

Ah, so they’re eating spider eggs. Now it makes sense. It keeps them alive in their trapped Volkswagens.

[Little_Nemo]

@Dogzilla

I saw on this board once someone suggesting that Charlize Theron is an African-American. No. She’s African. There’s no American in there.

But I’m available if she wants an American in there.

[Musicat]

@blondebear

You know, I saw a few camels when I was driving around from Alice Springs to Kings Canyon and The Rock. I didn’t see a single carcass on the road though, which means they must be smarter than kangaroos.

They bury their dead, like Bigfoot.

[jjimm]

@GovernmentMan

In 1954 Bob Hawke made it into the Guinness Record Book: he sculled 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Bob Hawke went on to become the Prime Minister of Australia.

Mr Hawke made this remarkable achievement in The Turf Tavern in Oxford, UK, which coincidentally is claimed to be the place where Bill Clinton didn’t inhale (there’s a large beer garden there that may occasionally allow for nefarious activities).

[TATG]

Clocks run counter-clockwise. Or as we call it here “clockwise”.

[Giles]

@TATG

Clocks run counter-clockwise. Or as we call it here “clockwise”.

Well, of course. That’s because the Earth spins in the other direction south of the Equator.

[Anne_Neville]

@GovernmentMan

Australia holds an estimated 40% of the world’s uranium
The world’s longest earthworm, stretching up to 4 metres, is found in Gippsland in Victoria

There’s an obvious connection between these two facts.

I thought it was bad enough that Australia was full of animals that want to kill people, but now there are giant radioactive earthworms that, presumably, want to kill people?

[Giles]

@Anne_Neville

There’s an obvious connection between these two facts.

I thought it was bad enough that Australia was full of animals that want to kill people, but now there are giant radioactive earthworms that, presumably, want to kill people?

Just be grateful that they aren’t venomous (like the snakes, spiders and platypodes) or spiky (like the echidnas)

[Marley23]

@TATG

Clocks run counter-clockwise. Or as we call it here “clockwise”.

And what do your counters do?

[Giles]

@Marley23

And what do your counters do?

They run counter-wise, of course.

[Cicero]

If you think the animals are venemous, you should see the women.

[6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast]

@Labtrash

Is it true that every single form of animal life on the continent (and surrounding waters) of Australia can (and wants to) kill you?

No, Labtrash, this is not true.

Every form of native Australian wildlife doesn’t want to kill you.

It has to kill you - due to its innate, unstoppable urge.

[Dogzilla]

@Lute Skywatcher

She’s been a US citizen for four years.

Okay, then, so now she* is* an African American. At the time the discussion I referenced was held, she had not attained citizenship here.

[Annie-Xmas]

@Cazzle

And in all seriousness, in Victoria it is illegal to sell knives to anyone under 18 years of age. It was decided that it’s too difficult for the law to specify which knives are ok (butter knives, plastic picnic knives) so the law applies to all knives. We received training on this at work when the law came into effect because we sell craft knives (the scalpel type blades with a handle) and the aforementioned plastic picnicware.

“That’s not a knife. This is a knife”

[Lust4Life]

@Giles

No, you don’t need to be a natural born citizen. The current Prime Minister was born in Wales, and so was not born an Australian citizen. At some time she would have been naturalised, and before she became a member of parliament she would have had to renounce her UK citizenship. I’m assuming that an Australian President would have similar requirements to those for an Australian federal member of parliament.

And this is how we continue to control you !

HAH HAH AH AH ARGHHH !

YOU POOR FOOLS us English, yes ENGLISH ! rule you poor colonial halfwits to this day.

Our Welsh underclass know that if they don’t do whats good for them, then they won’t be very happy.

It involves emigration and sheep shagging…

I haven’t a strong enough stomach to explain the rest.

[Unintentionally_Blank]

@Lust4Life

I haven’t a strong enough stomach to explain the rest.

Aye, cuz yer nae Scottish!

[Anne_Neville]

@Lust4Life

Our Welsh underclass know that if they don’t do whats good for them, then they won’t be very happy.

It involves emigration and sheep shagging…

I thought the Welsh underclass were supposed to like that sort of thing.

[campp]

I still want to know about the gigantic empty rock. I mean, WTH? Empty?