Fun Facts about Ernest Borgnine (who turned 90 today)

I had no clue that Ernest was married to Ms. Merman, I had no clue someone claimed to be their “illegitimate child”. I am not up on any drag queens come to think of it.

I did not even realize that Ernest was in ‘From Here to Eternity’. I have seen the movie, so I might of had that tidbit of info buried in my brain, but I really only know Ernest from McCale’s Navy and Marty.

These were all my normal *pathetic * attempt at humor.

Jim {I wonder if I should contact the Amazing Randy at this point? :confused: }

While filming the second season of McHale’s Navy, Borgnine arranged for co-star Tim Conway, still a virgin at the time, to find three top-dollar hookers in his dressing room. To this day, Conway claims to be the only man alive who lost his virginity three times.

Every Pope, Archbishop of Canterbury, and Patriarch of Constantinople elevated to those offices since Marty came out has been selected by blindfolding Ernest Borgnine, spinning him around multiple times, and releasing him among a crowd of candidates for those posts. The first person he touches receives the office.

Google “Borgnine Dutch Oven” and you’ll find an aspect of Ethel Merman’s divorce complaint left out of the imdb.com article pasted above.

I agree with that, I love that movie, but he’s also a homophobic asshole. He said this last year (in Entertainment Weekly):

I’m still angry about that. If you don’t want to watch a movie, fine, but when you’re a freaking member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and you’re supposed to take your membership and voting duties seriously, you damn well better watch ALL the nominated films before voting. Or else declare that you didn’t vote out of respect to all the films.

Whatta dick. I still love Marty though.

The gap in Ernest Borgnine’s front teeth is actually a portal to an alternate universe where every human being on earth looks exactly like Ernest Borgnine. In the late 1980s, NASA conducted a top secret mission to send a team of explorers into the gap, attached to a safety rope held by Craig T. Nelson. The rope broke, and the last transmission from inside the gap was, "My God . . . it’s full of stars . . . "

Well, if there were a gay rights activists / gay porn producer nexus, a remake of Marty with an alternate resolution to the “Whad’ya wanna do tonite? - I dunno - what do you wanna do?” would be sweet revenge.

laughs I can see it now.

He is 92 years old, can you cut him a little slack on being a homophobe and consider that most of his generation were? He came of age before WWII. We are lucky he isn’t racist to boot.

Jim

I can cut him a little slack for being a bigot because he clearly doesn’t know any better and will be dead soon, but I cut him very little slack for opening his yap in EW about it. Not that I’m up nights gritting my teeth over Borgnine’s being a jackass on this issue but still.

How do we know he’s not racist?

We don’t, except he is not shy about opening his yap, so I am assuming he is not.

I think you would agree it is better to reserve your anger more for younger folk and people in power. If it was a politician making such a remark I would be angry. The most important vote Mr. Borgnine has is on acting awards. So no biggie if he mouthed off a little.

It seems like a lot of 90+ year olds are not shy about sharing their opinions, whether they are popular or not. I doubt Ernest would influence anyone these days. He is very past tense. Not exactly Mel Gibson making an ass of himself.

Jim

Well, like I said, I’m not angry about it. But it does lessen my opinion of the man.

He gets a mention in a work by British punk poet John Cooper Clarke, called 36 Hours.

Since I saw 'Emperor of the North" as a kid, EB just scares the living crap outta me. Everytime I see him onscreen I expect him to start swinging a fire axe.

Meh. He’s an old man who grew up in a very don’t-ask-don’t-tell era when it came to things like divorce and The Gay and he hasn’t done any significant works in decades, so he’s not exactly influential.

So on with more facts!

  • When pursued by predators, Ernest Borgnine is capable of inverting his stomach to confuse and disgust them.

  • Ernest Borgnine can pull a semi rig with chains attached to his love handles.

  • Ben Wa Balls were invented by Ernest Borgnine.

  • Ernest Borgnine grows a new set of teeth every three years.

  • Ernest Borgnine is known as White Borg on the streets. He sells for $150 an ounce in powdered form.

  • It is illegal to speak the name of Ernest Borgnine aloud on the streets of Cambodia for fear it will attract his wrath.

  • Ernest Borgnine released an album entitled Whale Songs in 1968 wherein impressively accurate whale call impressions were set to psychedelic music.

  • The role of Doctor Emmett Brown in the movie Back to the Future was written with Ernest Borgnine in mind, but although he declined the role citing prior commitments, the real reason he did not accept the part was due to a long standing feud with Crispin Glover over a table they were inadvertently double-booked for at a Manhattan-area Ponderosa steakhouse.

The metric conversion unit of viscosity-induced reflectance (kg-N / W-erg^3) was named the borgnine (abbr: Bn) in his honor.

As a bit of a Ernest Borgnine aficionado, here’s some facts I’ve learned in my research about the man:

“Ernest Borgnine” is really a stage name. His birth name is Mike Danger.

Ernest Borgnine writes textbooks on biological thermodynamics, but it is clear to even a lay person that he has no idea what he is talking about.

Ernest Borgnine was the VP for Customer Development at drkoop.com

Ernest Borgnine was cast as Uncle Ernie in the movie version of Tommy but had to drop out when he contracted malaria while working as a gun runner in Angola.

Ernest Borgnine recently signed to play a future verson of Ron Jeremy in the next Star Trek movie, which is about time travel.

Ernest Borgnine is what came between Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin

Carlo Marx, a character in Jack Kerouac’s On the Road is loosely based on Ernest Borgnine

Jimi Hendrix was scheduled to begin harpischord lessons from Ernest Borgnine but died the night before his first lesson.

Kellogg’s Fruit Loops are called Borgnine’s in Eastern Europe.

Ernest Borgnine was set to play Vito Corleone but had to drop out when Coppola refused to cast Tim Conway as Luca Brasi.

Despite his stocky appearance, Ernest Borgnine’s fingers could best be described as “lithsome.”

Ernest Borgnine is on speed dial for the following people: Prince, Justin Timberlake, Keith Hernandez, and Greta Van Sustern.