Fun Hypothetical Question

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Constrained hypothetical situations never make for very satisfying discussion. Someone can almost always reason an end run around the constraints; if the situation is designed to eliminate any possible “out”, it becomes so contrived as to be nearly absurd.

The desert-island setup is rapidly approaching the second extreme. You have exactly two survivors of a shipwreck, but no other bodies washed ashore. They possess sufficient materials to dress, butcher, and cook a carcass, but no food of any kind. The survivors have access to the only fresh water within hundreds of miles, but not a single living thing is nearby to take advantage of it.

Maybe it’s a neat excercise if you’re a freshman philosophy student, but IMO there’s very little point in hypothesizing an impossible situation.

I’m not a warlock. I’m a witch with a Y chromosome.

22

I know more about bears. The animals in the Sarajevo zoo were all abandoned, left in cages. The male polar eventually ate his spouse.

23

Hypothetical questions involving terminal starvation, the death of loved ones, and cannibalism usually don’t fall into the fun category. A fun hypothetical question is “If you could see any celebrity naked who would you pick?”

24

If my soulmate was dead, I’d commit suicide ala Romeo & Juilet.

Better than the other possibilities of 1) eating her and dying anyway when no one comes and 2) surviving but being haunted by the experience and shunned by society.

Killing yourself has a romantic feel to it, and we might even get a cover spread on TIME.

25

Cristi: [[Oooooh Rich, I don’t think I’d want to join any of your discussion groups ;0]]

Coward.

[[Upon reflection, I think I could eat my mate. Especially if my kids were still at home, waiting for me to get back to them. I know that my family would take excellent care of them, but still…I’d want to do anything to get back to them.]]

Good point. There can be reasons to try and survive the situation beyond simply continuing to breathe.

[[Here’s another poser-if in fact this did happen, and I did eat my husband to survive, would I be prosecuted for cannibalism, or doing bad things to a corpse? I’ve never looked into the laws regarding this. Never really been an issue.]]

I’ve never looked into them either (oh, stop being surprised), but I can say with reasonable certainty that you’d never be prosecuted under US law. It’s never stated whose jurisdiction this speck in the ocean falls under, but I doubt you’d be prosecuted under foreign law either. (This is for eating your deceased loved one–it’s a different matter if you CAUSE them to become deceased in order to eat them. That would be murder, and maybe poaching.)

funneefarmer: [[You don’t need spears to catch organisms that are crawling along the ocean bottom, or the algae that might be floating around.]]

Or might not be floating around. As for what is or isn’t crawling around on the ocean bottom, you’re not going to be able to explore very much of it–whatever shallows there are next to the island is gonna be it.

The question, stripped down, is this: would you, in the gravest extreme, eat the flesh of a dead loved one to attempt to survive? The question is NOT whether you’d avoid it if you possibly could–I assume the answer for everybody would be “yes.”

[[If you’re looking for good human recipes just come right out and ask for them, we’re pretty non-judgemental here.]]

I’m pretty non-judgmental myself–if you actually HAVE recipes for human, by all means post 'em.

[[What you going to light that fire with by the way?]]

The Bic lighter that was right next to my pocket knife. Next question.

aseymayo: [[No, you can come to the party - I just won’t ask you to bring the snacks.]]

Hey, I could bring dip. First I’ll go catch a dip…

E1skeptic: [[Better to eat each other, and die happy…]]

Didn’t we already have the obligatory play on “eat?”

AuraSeer: [[Constrained hypothetical situations never make for very satisfying discussion. […] Maybe it’s a neat excercise if you’re a freshman philosophy student, but IMO there’s very little point in hypothesizing an impossible situation.]]

And there’s even less point to complaining that other people are doing so. If you don’t like such things that’s fine, but it’s the same as a TV program you hate–don’t whine about how bad it is, change the frigging channel and watch something else.

sunbear: [[I know more about bears. The animals in the Sarajevo zoo were all abandoned, left in cages. The male polar eventually ate his spouse.]]

Polar bears are not especially gentle creatures. I have no idea whether they have what could be called emotional attachments to their mates or not.

Mike King: [[Hypothetical questions involving terminal starvation, the death of loved ones, and cannibalism usually don’t fall into the fun category.]]

You have your idea of fun, and I have mine.

[[A fun hypothetical question is “If you could see any celebrity naked who would you pick?”]]

My answer would be Stevie Nicks…but she’s now over 50, and I have a personal crisis when I realize that I’m so old I find someone over 50 attractive. I take my mind off that fact by posing bizarre hypotheticals to uncooperative subjects.

barton: [[Killing yourself has a romantic feel to it, and we might even get a cover spread on TIME.]]

I doubt it–suicides are a dime a dozen. But if you eat your loved one, you have a good shot at the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

Rich Barr
massivemaple@hotmail.com
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl

26

Rich said: “The question, stripped down, is this: would you, in the gravest extreme, eat the flesh of a dead loved one to attempt to survive?”

Well, yes. that’s how I interpreted it and that’s what I answered. Since you deemed my first reply too frivolous, I’ll try again.

No - life is not so dear to me that I could look at the corpse of my adored one and think, “Hey - snacks!” He, on the other hand, is welcome to tuck into me once I have rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. He’s always been partial to ribs.

27

OK, I’ll stop avoiding it.
Couldn’t eat my loved one.
They are welcome to my meat, as long as I’m dead first.
As for seasoning, Is that a bottle of BBQ sauce in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  • Both
28

Dave Barry once wrote that whenever he flies he always packs an extra soccer player, just in case.
But he figures he’ll have to fight off the other passengers who didn’t think ahead: “Hey, you haven’t even touched the pilot yet!”
– Greg, Atlanta

29

First, no one has mentioned: are these people literally naked when they arrive? You can always fashion an impromptu fish net by tying your pantlegs shut, tearing your shirt/skirt/blouse into strips for line, and then trolling, literally. Fish in that area of the ocean have no natural aversion to humans if you don’t act aggressively; you just very gradually pull the net through the water until it surrounds enough fish to make a meal. Then it’s sushi time.

As long as someone’s brought up King and his cannibalism story, has anyone here read ‘Desire and the Black Masseur’ by Tennesee Wiliams? Have that read out loud and see if your skin doesn’t creep!

30

aseymayo: [[Well, yes. that’s how I interpreted it and that’s what I answered. Since you deemed my first
reply too frivolous, I’ll try again.]]

All replys are good, frivolous or otherwise.

funneefarmer: [[Is that a bottle of BBQ sauce in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?- Both]]

I’d rather bread 'em and fry 'em, myself, but to each his own.

GregAtlanta: [[Dave Barry once wrote that whenever he flies he always packs an extra soccer player, just in case.]]

I think the incident immortalized (if that’s the word) in “Alive” involved a plane-load of rugby players. It’s been awhile though, so I may be mistaken.

DIF: [[First, no one has mentioned: are these people literally naked when they arrive? You can always
fashion an impromptu fish net by tying your pantlegs shut, tearing your shirt/skirt/blouse into strips for line, and then trolling, literally. Fish in that area of the ocean have no natural aversion to humans if you don’t act aggressively; you just very gradually pull the net through the water until it surrounds enough fish to make a meal. Then it’s sushi time.]]

No, I never mentioned, since it has nothing to do with the question–it’s another way of AVOIDING the question. But, since you asked, I’d say you and your loved one are probably clothed when you arrive on the island…depending on what you were doing when the ship blew up.

However…it IS stated that there are no trees or anything else on this island, and the boat is broken up. You’d run into a problem if you tear all the clothing up to make nets–you and your companion are liable to get sunburnt to death before starvation gets you. (You guys keep fighting about MY scenarios, so I’m gonna fight about yours.)

Rich Barr
massivemaple@hotmail.com
AOL Instant Messenger: Hrttannl