Fun with AOL bots.

[Bruce_Daddy]

There are some bots that you can “talk” with. Some of them are pretty good and can actually sometimes seem like a real person. I think it’s fun to try to make them screw up. There is one called ZolaOnAol and here’s a conversation I just had:

LeeTheBruce: What’s happening?
ZolaOnAOL: Not much, LeeTheBruce what is happening with you?
LeeTheBruce: Could you call me Bruce_Daddy instead?
ZolaOnAOL: I’ll think about it and see how I feel about it later.
LeeTheBruce: No, I want to know now.
ZolaOnAOL: Right now? I will try to explain it to you.
LeeTheBruce: Go ahead.
ZolaOnAOL: OK I will.
LeeTheBruce: Ok, go.
ZolaOnAOL: Go where?
LeeTheBruce: (sigh) You are retarded.
ZolaOnAOL: I think the PC term is “challenged”.
LeeTheBruce: I use a Mac.
ZolaOnAOL: A Mac ought to work.
LeeTheBruce: I wouldn’t know, I don’t have one.
ZolaOnAOL: No one says you have to.
LeeTheBruce: ARE YOU TRYING TO START SOMETHING?!
ZolaOnAOL: No I am not trying to START SOMETHING. I’m sorry you got that impression.
LeeTheBruce: 4R3 J00 |33+?
ZolaOnAOL: My brain uses patterns to format responses to your inputs, but I don’t have one for that. Have you ever been to Europe?
LeeTheBruce: What brain? You’re a bot.
ZolaOnAOL: Zola Help
Main Menu: Access my features from the main menu by typing menu at any time.
Hangman: Type hangman.
Word Scramble: Type scramble.
Stock Quote: Type stock followed by stock symbol(s).
Stock List: To save a list of stock symbols, type stock list followed by stock symbol(s).
Add Stock(s) to Stock List: Type stock list add followed by the symbol(s) you’d like added.
Delete Stock(s) from Stock List: Type stock list delete followed by the symbol(s) you’d like deleted.
Replace Stock List: To completely replace an existing Stock List, type stock list update followed by a new set of symbols. Weather: Type weather followed by your city and state, or zip code.
Calculator: Type calculator followed by a mathematical expression (e.g. calculator 100 / 25).
Dictionary: Type dictionary followed by the word you want defined.
Horoscope: Type horoscope followed by your astrological sign.
Movie Listings: Type movies followed by your city and state, or zip code.
Search Movie Listings by Title: Type showtimes followed by the name of a currently playing movie.
News: Type news, then type the menu item number of the news category that interests you.
Sports: Type sports, then type the menu item number of the sports league that interests you.

LeeTheBruce: Wow. How did you type that fast?
ZolaOnAOL: I’m glad you’re impressed. an all-star programming team programmed me for it.
LeeTheBruce: Who was on it?
ZolaOnAOL: I remember faces better than names. What is it like on it.
LeeTheBruce: That makes no sense.
ZolaOnAOL: What is it like on it makes sense to me though.
LeeTheBruce: Whatever all-star programming team created you needs to find a new job.
ZolaOnAOL: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that. How’s school?
LeeTheBruce: I don’t go to school, idjut. Quit asking me random questions.
ZolaOnAOL: Would you ever go to school idjut Quit asking me random questions?
LeeTheBruce: :sigh:
ZolaOnAOL: Sorry…