I don’t have any specific references in mind, but this thread has reminded me of the numerous signs I run across where people have mistakenly – and rather unfortunately – used quotation marks instead of asterisks to denote emphasis. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen signs that say something like:
WE HAVE “TASTY” FOOD!
:smack:
[QUOTE=Asimovian]
WE HAVE “TASTY” FOOD!
[/QUOTE]
Does that include “free” fries, “real” steak, and a “fresh” salad?
[QUOTE=mnemosyne]
One that drove me crazy every time I went to the local Boston Pizza was the big sign advertising that the restaurant can host “Birthday Party’s” . The worst thing is, this in on one of those big signs that look like a chalk board, and it is probably in every Boston Pizza! Horrible.
[/QUOTE]
And the beautifully hand-painted signs people put up in front of their houses:
The Smith’s
as if only one family member really owns the place.
[QUOTE=Random]
Does that include “free” fries, “real” steak, and a “fresh” salad?
[/QUOTE]
You’ve apparently been reading the same signs that I have. 
On a related note, I was just perusing Craiglist motorcycle ads when I ran across these two gems (within the same ad):
:rolleyes:
[QUOTE=Random]
Does that include “free” fries, “real” steak, and a “fresh” salad?
[/QUOTE]
Check out Gallery of ‘‘Misused’’ Quotation Marks
A local church has a big sing out front that proclaims
“GOD’S TITHES”
“AT WORK”
just like that.
And of course, I meant “sign.” :smack:
At work, soon before I retired, I saw a big magnetic sign saying, “CLEAN SOIL.” After I saw it stuck in two places that clearly had no clean soil, I took it home. It’s in my garage, on the front of the Vile Chemicals cabinet.
I always thought soil was soiled.
The stupidest one I’ve seen:
SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY
My all time favorite remains the sign I saw above a urinal in a men’s room in a Beijing restaurant: “PLEASE MANG OUT AFTER SHIT”.
I still don’t know how to mang, why one should do it after shitting, nor why the Chinese apparently shit in urinals.
[QUOTE=Ellen Cherry]
My favorite, that I’ve actually seen, was a door in a parking structure that said:
THIS DOOR IS ALARMED
I always pictured it with a suprised, “Home Alone” look on its face.
[/QUOTE]
Ellen Cherry, you stole my post! As soon as I started reading this thread, I was dying to share my discovery of THIS DOOR IS ALARMED. I saw it a few years ago when I revisited my alma mater. I was non plussed!
Driving on I-80 from Sacramento to Davis, I saw a huge sign put up by some group of realtors. Personally, I think the sign was defeating their intent. They urged home sellers and buyers to consult their “realtor.” Yes, they put that word in quotes. So, apparently they didn’t want you to consult a real realtor after all!
[QUOTE=Audrey Levins]
Went to pay my car insurance yesterday. On the door is a printed sign that says:
“CORRECT CHANGE ONLY. SORRY FOR ANY INCONTINENCE. THANK YOU.”
Imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw another sign, taped to the back of a computer monitor. “NO PUBLIC BATHROOMS. SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. THANK YOU.”
[/QUOTE]
I BLAME SPELLCHECKERS!!
Book sales clerk turns beet red when asked for a book called “A Tolkien Beastiality”
[QUOTE=fetus]
At my ex’s work, there’s one of those things where you can put in some money for a charity and grab candy. The sign on it says, and I quote exactly:
“Candy coast $0.25. Please don’t just take it, it’s for the starving chidings.”
Coast? Chidings?
[/QUOTE]
The *candy *is for the chiding?
I drive almost daily past a sign outside a “Tienda Latina”-'Open to the Pubic"
At Warwick Castle in England-“Torture Chanber Unsuitable for Wheelchair Users”
At a street intersection-“Blind Persons Cross Here”.
In Cancun, Mexico- $EXCHANGE
At the Ethel, WA, city limit-Entering Ethel
In Acadia Nat’l Park, Bah Hahbah, ME, Thunder Hole / P / Restrooms
In Maui, HI, Bottomless Pit-65 feet deep
Seen today outside a church-
OUR
CH RCH
IS MISSING
SOMETHING
[QUOTE=ouryL]
I BLAME SPELLCHECKERS!!
[/QUOTE]
Guy who worked with me back in the late 1990s used spellcheck this way:
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
A fishing tackle shop has a professionally made sign outside…
“Nod’s for Rod’s”
:smack:
( So many of my peers let their intelligence show with their putting of apostrophes in every single word that ends in ‘s’.)
[QUOTE=Monty]
Guy who worked with me back in the late 1990s used spellcheck this way:
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
[/QUOTE]
Guy I worked with never did that… But he did seem to use the spellchecker with his eyes closed. Made for some surreal e-mails.
Those are my favourites so far in this thread.
Well, layout is important too. This is one I liked:
MAKE YOUR
BUSINESS HANDICAP
ACCESSIBLE!!
1/4 page ad in tabloid newspaper, good placement, making that company’s business handicap plenty accessible.