My weapons of choice would be the trusty shotgun and chainsaw combination. I’ve seen the Evil Dead movies. Perhaps a flamethrower for real emergencies.
Given what I actually have in the house, I would be forced to fend off zombies with my tennis racquet.
I do have a plan for what I would do in the case of zombies invading my home. But since I don’t have any really effective weapons at my disposal that plan merely involves jumping out my window onto and climbing up the the roof on our antenna. From there I just have to wait for a gap so that I can run out to the boat and be safe on the lake. And this will increase my option because I can disembark anywhere along the lake. Then I have to get inside someone’s home and raid it. Then I’ll roam the countryside looking for other survivors and subjogate them. Gradually I will build up an empire as I destroy zombies, liberate mankind, and rule the world with an iron fist.
Get in the jeep.
Drive slowly (they don’t walk fast and I don’t want them to lose interest) to Leesburg.
Hope they eat the chamber of commerce.
Happiness ensues as the things those CoC people are composed of would poison the dead.
If my unequaled sumo skills don’t kill them, the sight of me in a mawashi will 
Katana slung over the right shoulder. .50 BMG sniper rifle over the left. Double-barreled, sawed-off shotgun parallel to the ground on the back of the belt. Trusty .45 pistol holstered on the outside of the right thigh. And finally, a miniature Uzi trapped flat on the chest.
EAT COLD STEEL AND HOT LEAD YOU UNDEAD, BRAIN-CHOMPIN’ UNDEAD BASTARDS!!! 
-Ben
The undead are truly varied in their nature. Zombies and Skeletons are easily dispatched with conventional weaponry. For a skeleton, I prefer a long flail, to smash and pull apart the bones. Fire based weapons are best for zombies, though any weapon that causes discorporation on a great scale will do. Vampires are a trick… you never know what mythos they’re from. For them, I prefer a cross shaped sword coated in flaming garlic. Aim for the head. Shadows and wraiths are nasty due to level drain. Again fire is key, a torch tied to a 10 foot pole makes for an effective counter. Fight the lesser creatures first, in order to give yourself a few buffer levels should they land a hit. Should a companion be touched by such a creature, seek a cleric of at least level 5, they should be able to assist you.
Katana. Silvered, just in case. Beheading works on most undead, I’ve found. I could use some practice on those katas.
Oh, and a sawed-off shotgun sounds good too. With some of those bola rounds, a few incendiaries, and some standard buckshot rounds and slugs, too. Armor-piercing incendiaries for the boss at the end of the level.
The remake of “Night of the Living Dead” was not particularly well-received, but I do have great fondness for the ending bit, where “escaping” turned out only to require walking at a purposeful but non-panicked pace, and putting a bullet in the brainpan of the deaders as they shambled slowly too close to arm’s reach.
Given zombies’ general extreme slowness, I’ll pick weapons from outermost range, moving in. First up, a good scoped, sighted-in rifle, with appropriate light-enhancement gear for the optics. If you’ve got a small group with them up on the roof, a sizable amount of ammo, and no one panics and wastes shots, you’ll live through most zombie-attack nights without ever moving to close-range weapons.
Should sniping prove non-workable for any reason, next give me a good pump action shotgun, cut down and with a pistol grip, because when killing undead, style counts. Plus, a blast is always more effective if you take the time to dramatically ka-CHANK the action before it. Besides that, a simple revolver in good maintenance will do wonders. (See “Dellamorte Dellamore”, especially the “Boy Scout attack” scene, for ample demonstration of this simple fact.)
If things get too up-close (as they might if you’re trying to survive Zombie Holocaust with a panic-prone gaggle of morons), I’ll leave chainsaws for the professionals (besides, they’re only truly effective if you no longer have two hands), and take a kukhri instead. Just the thing for emergency up-close dismembering. And, after that emergency situational use is resolved, you can use the blade and not waste a bullet, should that situation have been caused by one of those aforementioned panicky sorts.
Hungry dogs.
Gasoline and matches.
Borg defence shield, And Luke Skywalkers sword thingy I forget what the heck they call it; light saber? I think.
As for the sexual assault comment… According to the online book of Carnal Knowledge for Advanced Dungeons and Dragons semen (hot and fresh) inflicts, I believe, 2D8 hit points of damage on most cadaverous undead, if not all. It’s been awhile… but I recall my friends and I entertaining notions of our Paladin in shining armor slaying the freshly made Vampiress… with his pork sword.
~ARose
dagnabit, ARose, now i won’t be able to sleep until there’s a link to that!
shining plate armor, but with a little panel on the front. hee heee heeee heeeee…
Well, the neat and tidy way to dispose of zombies is a big bag of those little fast-food salt packets and a staple gun–no dismembered zombie bits on the floor or spatters of decayed brains that way.
Of course, there’s a lot to be said for a chainsaw, but remember that the noise can cover the sound of a zombie slowly lurching up behind you. Torches are overrated in zombie fights–zombies tend to be…juicy. I’ll take a sawed -off for close up, a crossbow for long range (it’s quieter, and won’t give away my position so badly), and a nice bone-crunching truncheon for that oh-crap-I’m-outta-ammo moment.
As for other undead, the truncheon should be effective on skeletons, I’ll take some magnesium flares for the shadows, and I’ll order delivery from Mama’s Pizza (one onion and garlic pizza should clear out every vampire within a hundred-mile radius).
ARose, that may work on the vampiress, but watch out for shades–the ones in our campaign tended to suffer from satyriasis/nymphomania/both.
People you’re all forgetting this very important question… Are these the weak-ass “one-shot-to-the-head” zombies? Or are these the kind of zombies that crawl around all dismembered and stuff after you hack them up? And if they are the second type, what is the best means of disposal? Assuming you don’t need a specific type of weapon to take them out (type 2, above), lets move on.
The best possible weapon in the case of a zombie manefestation in a town or city would be quarantine the city and then bomb it with some low yeild nukes. The radiation dissapates in about 20 hours or so and there’s nothing left of the city, the zombies, the unfortunate bystanders who were probably going to be screwed anyways, and the virus that caused the problem to begin with.
Now for conventional weapons.
A flamethrower is a good weapon, but it runs out of fuel very fast. You could kind of lessen the amount of fuel used to kill each zombie, but then they’re probably just going to catch fire. Now instead of a fleash eating freak you have a fleash eating freak who’s on fire. Zombie’s main attacks are grabbing and biting remember? who wants a flaming zombie grabbing you? Sure you could always just let loose on each zombie until they’re a pile of ash, but then you’re back to the fuel thing… This reminds me of the ammo clase of guns in movies. A lot of action stars don’t have to reload, but we would.
And if you hadn’t noticed the people in zombie movies who think they can stand their ground with a gun always get screwed. They shoot one or two in front of them; turn around to see four more; shoot them; notice three on the left, two on the right, and six behind them; kill off two more and suddenly they’re swamped. So this leaves out any kind of firearm besides like a Calico 950r which has a 100 round drum/clip you can use. This way as long as you aren’t an asshole and stand still you have quite a bit of ammo before you have to reload. You might want a nice, safe place to reload those drums though.
A melee weapon is a good as long as it’s sharp, and not to heavy, with a decent range. It’s kind of cliched at this point, but a real katana or tanto would be great. of course, against a group of zombies you would want to run. In fact, running seems to be the best way to avoid these bastards.
This makes me wonder, what would the best weapon against zombies be? (wow, i’m actually back to the OP) I have thought long and hard about this. Get an ice-cream truck. Empty out the crap inside. reinforce the outer body. build a turret on the top. Weld sharp blades to the outside for that porcupine look. Change the gas-pump intake so you can refill from the inside. Keep a nice reliable machine gun inside with plenty of ammo and gallons of fuel for the truck. Now drive to the closest city that is not zombie infested. If you hit a few on the way, so be it. Drive to the nearest CDC or army base. Tell them about the zombies if they haven’t already heard, watch them launch the nukes. Sit under a microscope while doctors poke and prod you making sure you aren’t infected. Become a local celebrity. Get on the Today show. Meet the president. Write a book. Sell the rights to Hollywood. Retire in style.
I say get them to fight bare-knuckled boxing style. It might be hard to convince them at first, but with a few shots to the ego (“Come on, don’t be a sissy!” etc.) they would probably agree to it. And then just punch the hell out of them, since their soft, decaying flesh would make most of their shots hurt a lot less.
-Syko
“My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” - Ralph Wiggum
Let’s see…I’ll stick to stuff I have in my posession in the real world…
12ga. pump action Remington shotgun, with #4 buckshot, for taking them out at a comfortable distance.
4-1/2 foot Claymore, for when they get kinda close.
Katana, for when they get too close.
3lb short-handled sledgehammer for last ditch bashing.
Leather gloves and combat boots for hand-to-hand zombie stomping.
Leather jacket - much tougher to bite through than other clothing…
I can’t believe noone’s mentioned the Thief series of computer games, which has entire areas devoted to undead cruelty. Mmm…zombie torture chamber…
Well, slortar, I was just sticking to things I have, or could get on short notice. As one of the most fanatical “Thief” fans around (one of my IFGS characters is Garrett), I would love to have flash bombs, fire arrows, holy water arrows, and a small army of ticked-off burricks to unleash on the foe. Just tell me there aren’t any fire shadows among them!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go reinstall “Dark Project” on my computer.
My massive army of little flea minions.