So, it’s close to Halloween, it’s a dark and stormy night, the satelite’s dropped, the radiation’s spread, and now your nieghborhood is being ravaged by those lovable hugable zombies. What’s your ideal weapon of choice for dealing with these unwanted and smelly pests?
Lawnmower.
I just let the people on the foors below me hand out candy.
A chainsaw and a shotgun. I mean, c’mon…“Who wants some, huh? Who’s next?”
I assume you are aware that “undead” is offensive to the formerly living.
I believe “paramortal” is the polite term.
pitchfork
Nothin’ but close-range weapons for me! When dispatching zombies–it’s more fun to do it the -ugly- way.
Axe
Torch
Pipe Wrench (Preferably one-handed)
A wooden board with a big, rusty nail in it.
And maybe a chainsaw. But only if I feel really mean that night. 
Obviously it would have to be the double-barreled shotgun.
Barring that it would have to be the knife. Slash at the knees and they’ll fall down like parapalegics. Save that ammo for the really nasty undead creatures.
Also, contrary to popular belief, a nuclear blast really does nothing good at all.
Sexual assault.
Bart:“Please, Lis, they prefer to be called the living-impaired.”
undead disposal? simple!
gimme an XMC101 auto-shotgun and a backpack filled with fletchette rounds, a short-haft leading side waraxe, and a diamond-plate longsword, double-edged, extended hilt.
oh, stuff i actually have in my house?
well, that modified pickaxe i made to throw at trees, the reinforced walking stave i have with the stainless-steel spike on the end, and that nice flamethrower i made out of a pesticide sprayer and a pilot light unit.
weight permitting, that 30 pound sledge i have in the basement.
and my dad’s truck.
Up close and personal, Benelli-style.
I’m still waiting for the undead mod to Counterstrike. Now -that- would be a game worth playing.
Thats one of the few things that has ever made me laugh on the SDMB:)
I like to use Babies as my weapon of choice.
WWRRD?
What would Robert Rodriguez do?
My withering sense of humor.
“Geez, that stench is awful. Who died in here?”
“Hey, nice make-up job. Who’s your embalmer?”
“Sorry, gramps. I’ve already spent the inheritance.”
dies laughing at Miller
Better make sure you’ve got some sort of cleated shoes though; you know how hard it is to run when your floor is covered in an inch and a half of fake blood!
I do so love that movie.
Anyway, my answer comes from “Dawn of the Dead” - a helicopter and some very strategically placed tall crates. Zombies climb over the crates and the helicopter blades lop their heads off. Yet the zombies behind said decapitated zombies don’t quite make this connection, and keep on climbing! Assuming an infinite supply of battery power and petrol, you could keep those zombies away forever!
I’ll cut their hearts out with a SPOON!
For some reason, my first thought was a weed whacker, but a helicopter seems so much more efficient.
And that’s what you need with the undead–excused me, the living impaired–efficient methods of decapitation.
Ah, I see I’m not the only one to have seen Dead Alive…
Honestly, though, I would kill them by any means necessary, just look at my sig!
(And yes, it was like that BEFORE this thread came about.)
Oh PLEASE
No one would use a LAWNMOWER
My weapon of choice:
A kung fu minister
“I kick ass for the lord”
But why use a spoon? Why not use a knife?
Up close and personal would be the way to go and that means only one thing…
Cue announcer
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to the most revolutionary kitchen device ever invented, the Zombiematic 2000[sub]tm[/sub]!
It slices, it dices, it purees, it even makes juice… just puree your zombie and then add your favourite garden vegetables and you’ll have yourself a nutritious and tasty beverage! Mmmmmmm!
The ultra high speed heavy duty motor and diamond edged blades will make short work of any zombies you find lurking in your back yard. We advise that you incapacitate the zombie first so for the first 1000 callers we’ll throw in a complimentary 35 inch chainsaw, fuel not included.
How much do you think you’d pay for an appliance that does all this? $299.00? $199.00?
Nope! We’re offering the Zombiematic2000[sub]tm[/sub] for the low low price of $99.00!!! We take cash, cheques, money orders and first born children. Use your credit card and we’ll bill you three easy payments of $33.00
No home should be without one.
Operators are standing by. Just call 1-800-DIE-SCUM.