Was riding in the car with my Fundy Grandpa (both passengers) and I was reading Sagan’s Demon Haunted World. He looked over at me after a while, and asked me what I was reading. So I marked my page, and handed him the book. He read the title, and the blurb on the back, looked at me, and said “You know, and you can trust me on this, cause your grandpa has been around a long time, that that science stuff will set you on the path to Hell.” The he proceeded to throw my book out of the open window of the moving car!
AHHH! NO! FUCK! Why would he do something like that? That was SOOOOO mean? I wasn’t even done with it yet! And my Grandma refused to go back to get it, when Grandpa told her that it was an evil book. FUCK! NO! I WANT IT BACK! Now I have to wait another 4 days before my new one comes in from Amazon. I was so fucking pissed. But, being the optimist that I am, I am looking on the bright side of things. At least he didn’t crucify me.
My mother pressured me into burning all of my AD&D books (DM guide, Monster Manual, Fiend Folio, etc) back when I was in Junior High to avoid the demonic influence of those.
Well, in some perverse sense, he did it out of love to save you from “Hell.” Not that it excuses it…
In any event, the next time he juxtaposes science and Hell, you might want to ask him how he’s doing on his medication (or the last procedure he had done, etc., or even ask him if he appreciates his microwave…)
Look on the bright side… perhaps someone will find your book by the roadside, and read it, and it’ll change their life. The “very light of science” will dawn in their eyes, and they’ll go on to become a great scientist, and invent a new form of clean, renewable energy, and save the world from being taken over by evil-but-sexy redheads and their half-human-half-ant warriors…
(Carl Sagan’s your bad influence? Jack Williamson’s mine…)
I may be going straight to hell for suggesting that the next time he’s reading the Bible, or some “proper” book you ask him what it is and hold out your hand. If he gives it to you, throw it out the window saying something like “That religion stuff will set you on the path to intellectual stupor.”
Do remember to tell him that when you had to repurchase the book, the Eeeeeevil author got some more of your money. (But did Sagan pass away recently?)
Zev has a good idea, point out all the things in his life science has helped. You could say something like “What school of thought do you think made this automobile that lets you travel 65mph while tossing my property onto the side of the road? Catholicism?”
And wouldn’t it have been just hilarious if the flying book had hit someone’s windshield and caused a traffic pileup with multiple fatalities? What the hell is the matter with that alter koker, anyway?!
Stay out of the car when he is in it. At least refrain from reading anything that requires thought. Ask him to join you in prayer for better gas mileage.
How dare he destroy your property? He has some nerve and I hope you read him the riot act, and demanded he refund you the money.
I hate holier than thou xians who think they know what’s best for the rest of us.
(Note, I am not referring to those Christians who go about their day, strong in their faith, who respect my beliefs w/o telling me I’m going to go to hell because I don’t believe EXACTLY the way they do)
