Funeral arrangements

[VOW]

Make Social Security the VERY first stop in your notification process. Everyone else will obtain the information from the SS database. That’s what we did when Daddy died, and truly, we only needed one official copy of the DC. After notifying SS, every other place we went already knew about it.

INCLUDING the military.

The woman at the window of the SS office was especially kind. As soon as I told her, “My father died,” she said, “I’m so very sorry.”

It’s ROUGH, to make the rounds, and to keep saying over and over, “My father died.” Each time you say it, it’s another barb to the heart. So if the people you deal with show you just a little bit of kindness, it really helps.
~VOW

[cmkeller]

My sympathies for your loss.

That’s really it, though. Sorry I don’t have practical advice to offer - when my father died, my mother handled pretty much everything.

[rowrrbazzle]

@Yllaria

Be sure to order multiple notarized copies of the death certificate. When I did it, the funeral director ordered them and it was added to the bill for the funeral. I think I ordered 3 and that turned out to be enough.

Make copies of the notarized copies. In the time to come, some places will take the regular copies and some will only take the notarized ones. Having them ready on hand will save you a lot of grief, because ordering them later is more complicated. You’ll be surprised at the number of times that you’ll need one.

There’s only one “complication” in Cook County (Chicago): for each separate order, the first copy costs $15 and the rest cost $4. So if you run out and need more, you pay the $15 again.

I’d say 3 is the bare minimum. If you were in Cook County, you could order 7 (3+4). The extra 4 only cost $1 more than a second order would start out.

[Mama_Zappa]

@rowrrbazzle

There’s only one “complication” in Cook County (Chicago): for each separate order, the first copy costs $15 and the rest cost $4. So if you run out and need more, you pay the $15 again.

I’d say 3 is the bare minimum. If you were in Cook County, you could order 7 (3+4). The extra 4 only cost $1 more than a second order would start out.

Yeah - when my mother died, the funeral director suggested we get 20 or more.

[Shirley_Ujest]

I am very sorry for your loss.
Caring for your Dead is a book I cannot recommend enough in this specific area.
Funeral homes are the pentagon of the death care industry.

[taffygirl]

Catholic, here, whose very devout Catholic mom died last winter. Mom donated her body to science. The organization that got her body does the cremation free of charge–we could have had the ashes but opted not to. I don’t know what happened to them, and the priest never asked anything beyond whether her ashes would be at the Mass. My dad was Catholic, too: his ashes were scattered at sea. The priests at their church absolutely didn’t care, and it didn’t affect the funeral Mass. Truly, this is one of those doctrines that is generally ignored.

Funerals are for the bereaved. Do what you can comfortably afford, and if that means putting off a memorial service until the estate is settled, then so be it.

I’m sorry for your loss.