Big, fat “Me too” for David Sedaris. At one point of “Naked” I was actually ROLLING when he described his mother’s toenails as looking like Frito-crumbs. LOL! Oh, and everything by Douglas Adams, except “Last Chance to See” which is some boring real-life story and not funny at all. And “Meaning of Liff” which is a ripoff of “Sniglets.”
In 1962 I found a book titled Make Your Own Monstrosities with Tooth and Nail, by George Daniels. This must have been the prototype for Tim Taylor on Home Improvement!
Painting:
“To paint a living room, all you need do is throw several cansful of the desired color into a roaring log fire, and the resulting explosion will cover the entire room and everything in it with paint. All you need to finish the job is an old mop. There are no brushes to clean, no rollers to wash, no glass in the windows.”
Safety for your car:
Daniels recommends connecting nichrome or other heating element to your brake-light line at one end and running the other end into the gas tank. So if anyone steals your car, the minute they push the brake pedal to slow down or stop the tank explodes with a deafening blast that destroys the car. This method pins proof positive of the thief’s guilt on him; Daniels says “he may be traced by his trail of thick black smoke.”
Trash disposal:
“Put your garbage in the regular pail, and add a fuse from your household fuse box. All you need do is light the fuse and count to three, and the resultant blast fires your garbage all over the neighborhood. Once your neighbors have seen it work they’ll beat a path to your door.”
Daniels is, or was, a serious authority on building and remodeling, and reconditioning (he even reconditioned pianos), but you’d sure never know it from this book…