The bit that I remember most from that movie is when Judge Reinhold has to tell Midler’s character that they’ve been forced to lower their ransom demands and she said, “I’ve been kidnapped by K-Mart.”
Hot Lips in the Shower from MASH* (1970).
In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, the long, slow take following this exchange:
Zero Mostel: Who do we know that’s dead?
Jack Gilford: I wish I was.
I completely lost it during the “find the fish” scene in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life" – it was Terry Jones who sent me over, with those crazy arms of his. And I was the only person in the theater who thought it was funny; nobody else so much as chuckled.
The funniest scene I’ve seen recently is the one in There’s Something About Mary where Ben Stiller’s character is engaging in some self-service before his date and loses the “stuff.” When it finally shows up, it’s hilarious, but the next scene with Mary’s hair is even better.
“But sir, it’s only a wah-fer thin mint…” (The Meaning Of Life)
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries” (Holy Grail)
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life” (Animal House)
“I’m into leather” (Annie Hall)
“These cans are defective!” (The Jerk)
“This is what happens when you fuck a STRANGER in the ASS!”
My Cousin Vinny
Pesci: “These two yewts”
Judge: I’m sorry, these two what?"
Pesci: “Oh pardon me, these two youthhhhs”
The Fatal Glass of Beer: so much to choose from, including “'T’ain’t a fit night out for man nor beast,” the bread in the soup, “I think I’ll go out to milk the elk,” etc.
Charlie Chaplin examining the clock in The Pawn Shop, mostly for the payoff gag.
"The pellet with the poison . . . . "
“I knew it. I’m surrounded by Assholes!”
“It’s true. This man has no dick.”
In Fandango when they attach a cable to a car and try and lasso a passing train.
In Parenthood when the blown fuse plunges a family get-together dinner into darkness and Steve Martin tries to turn on a flashlight which turns out to be a dildo.
In Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask when Woody Allen tries to cure his wife’s frigidity with a plug in dildo and, to their horror, sparks fly out of it and it catches on fire.
Dildos are funny. Who knew?
Sheriff Bart: “Are we awake?”
Waco Kid: “We’re not sure. Are we…black?”
Sheriff Bart: “Yes, we are.”
Waco Kid: “Then we’re awake, but we’re very puzzled.”
The glow in the dark condom scene from Skin Deep (maybe a little obscure, but fall on the floor hilarious).
I think my biggest movie laugh ever was the very first time I saw Monty Python and the Holy Grail when the horse clops were revealed to be coconuts at the start.
Oh, yeah. That one has me on the floor every time.
From some Leslie Nielson movie:
“Your dog has a very surprised expression on his face.”
“That’s his butt.”
“Oh. Then he’s not going to enjoy that treat I just fed him.”
There’s a scene in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels where a con man playing a doctor (Michael Caine) is testing the legs of a con man playing a man in a wheelchair (Steve Martin) for feeling. He starts with tickles and ends up hitting his legs with a switch. Steve Martin, who has full feeling in his legs, has to pretend that he’s not feeling a thing. Finally the “doctor” decides to take the guy as a patient.
“Look, doctor. He’s so happy he’s crying!”
The look on Steve Martin’s face had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to choke.
“Those aren’t pillows!”
When Steve is playing the moronic dimwit brother in his dungeon room, dry humping Michael Caine’s prospective wealthy fiancee, Caine says “Froderick, do we need to get the genital cuffs?” and Martin flies across the room and sits quietly in his chair. That had me wheezing.
That, “Not Mother?” and the fork cork.
Two quotes from the Diner owner and operator, Glenn, from Wayne’s World:
Glenn: I’d never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it, that if a man kills another man in battle it’s called heroic; yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it’s called murder?
Wayne: Ho-woh! What do you think you’re doing? Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera.
Davy: They laid me off. I got one of these.
Glenn: Yeah, I know how that feels.
Davy: Know what I’d like to do?
Glenn: Yeah I know what you’d like to do. You’d like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
Glenn: Well, the world’s a twisted place.
From “Planes, Trains, & Automobiles” - “You’re going the wrong way!”
It’s hard to pick only one or two moments from “Blazing Saddles.” 