Funniest movie scenes ever

Cafe Society
141

The scene in maybe my favorite movie of all time, Fandango, that was a classic was when the 5 guys had run out of gas after partying all night in a rest area alongside a railroad track miles from nowhere.

They ripped the cable off the roadguard, tied one end to the front of their car, lassoed the caboose of a passing train and were preparing for the irde of their life. Then, right after they questioned how they were ever going to stop, there was a loud “boom” and they sat and watched the train dragging away the grill of their Cadillac.

And later, the parachute scene, Truman and “Angels!” Ha.

142

I watched Finding Nemo stoned and the “Mine Mine Mine Mine” scene with the seagulls had me and my friend (also high as a kite) had us dying for hours.

I loved Steve Whatshisface from the Daily Show’s character in Anchorman, the weather guy. My favorite scene was when he screamed “SCARY NOISES!” at the supervisor or whomever the crew was arguing with at the time.

143

Steve Carell.

“One day, years from now, a doctor will tell me I have an IQ of 47 and am considered mentally retarded!” And of course, “Would you like to come to the pants party?”

144

Lots of classics already mentioned here.

Life of Brian’s “Biggus Dickus”

Young Frankenstein: Victor locked up with the monster (“Get me the hell out of here!”), “Puttin’ on the Ritz”

Kingpin’s “milking the bull,” along with him throwing up after sex with the landlady

Hooper’s rant in Chasing Amy

But one scene that deserves mention–and I’m surprised I haven’t seen it already here–is Jon Lovitz’s “Hitler” scene in Rat Race. You’ve gotta love the incremental set-up–all the tiny unrelated things that come together that lead to Lovitz standing in front of a bunch of WWII vets ranting like he’s Der Führer. Awesome. Had me rolling in my seat.

And it’s not so much a scene as a moment, a line, but in The Maltese Falcon when Peter Lorre is menacing Mary Astor after she slaps him, and Bogart steps in with the line, “Shut up, you. When you’re slapped you’ll take it and like it,” and lays one on him. My buddy and I were laughing so hard we had to rewind the tape.

Love 'em.

145

What, no Planes, Trains, and Automobiles yet!

The scene where Steve Martin comes back from being dropped off with keys
to a rental car that isn’t there.

He walk, like a mile, back across the huge lot, down the snow drift ect.

Steve Martin - “I want a F*&%ing car, Four F&*%ing wheelse, and a sterring wheel!!” or something like that.

Lady Clerk - "Do you have your rental papers?

SM - “NOoooo!”

LC - “Oh My, Your F*&@ed”

One of my favorite movies :slight_smile:

146

Not a comedy, but there’s one scene in **The Hunt for Red October ** that never fails to crack me up.

It’s the one where Jack, green to the gills, is being choppered to the ship in bad weather and the radio operator is telling him about the time he got caught in a hurricane over the Sea of Japan: “Oooh, you talk about puke!..and I don’t mean everyday puke! I’m talking extra-chunky, industrial-waste puke!..Want a Mars bar?”

147

This long, and no one’s mentioned the movie Airplane!? Specifically, the two Jive Brothas having their first conversation, complete with subtitles:

First Jive Dude: Shit man, that honky mus’ be messin’ my old lady… got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head. You know?
Second Jive Dude: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you man.
First Jive Dude: I say hey sky, s’other s’ay I wan say?
Second Jive Dude: UH…
First Jive Dude: Pray to J I get the same ol’ same ol’.
Second Jive Dude: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB’in man.
First Jive Dude: Hey, you know what they say… See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
First Jive Dude, Second Jive Dude: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
First Jive Dude: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit

148

Dumb and Dumber Diner scene. “Kick his ass Seabass!” To this day, my friend’s and I still do Seabass’s hold arm above hand, point to self to indicate another round of drinks to waitresses, much to the delight of all in our party.

Naked Gun Intro. “Don’t ever let me catch any of you guys in America!”

All time favorite in my mind: Three Amigos Bar scene. “While I’m here, I believe I’ll have a beer”…“We’ve got tequila”…“Well, if it’s like beer, we’ll try it. Three tequilas!”…“That’s an odd taste”…[High voice] "yeah, it’s probably watered down [high voice] and then the My Little Buttercup song. Pure, 24K, solid, comedic gold.

149

Two from Tootsie:

Michael (Hoffman) and Jeff (Bill Murray) are in their apartment having dinner shortly after “Dorothy” gets the soap role. Michael says, “You know what my biggest problem is?” and Jeff says, “Cramps?”

“Dorothy” is told, “We’re picking up your option–you’ll be with us another year.” No change of expression is seen on Michael’s face, but there’s an audible gulp.

Both of these scenes are guaranteed to break me up!

150

There could be a whole thread about minor, Mad-Magazine margin-like, scenes in Airplane!.

“We better get some pictures.”

“Leon’s getting llllaaarrrrrger!”

When Lloyd Bridges says he wants every available light on that field, and a dumptruck drops a load of old laps on the tarmac, I love the music gets so ominous and somber.

“Shep, no.”

151

How could i forget, yeah, The Three Amigos!

Desert turtle: “Goodnight, Ned!”

152

The Three Amigos! It has one of my favorite bits of all time, how could I not have mentioned it before…

The scene where the young woman was kidnapped to be El Guapo’s “bride”, and the older woman go to visit her “to prepare her for her night with El Guapo”. The dialogue went something like:
Older woman: “Do you know what foreplay is?”
Young woman, timidly: “No, I don’t.”
Older woman: “Good, neither does El Guapo.”

153

Old School - Frank the Tank at Mitchapalooza - From where he’s talking about going to Home Depot (I’m not sure if there will be enough time) to where his wife picks him up while streaking.

Anchorman - The street fight between all the news teams (COMO ESTA BITCHES!! SPANISH LANGUAGE CHANNEL NEWS TEAM IS HERE!!) and the aftermath.

Team America World Police -
“Can you promise that you’ll never die?”
“You know I can’t promise that.”
“If you could promise me that you would never die, I’d sleep with you right now…”
“I PROMISE… that I will NEVER die.”

154

I love the whole movie, but the scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off with Jennifer Gray and Charlie Sheen in the police station is excellent fun. He may not be the greatest actor ever, but he really nailed that role.

155

Porky’s.

The boys were caught peeping into the girls’ shower by the girls’ gym teacher. One slipped his tallywhacker through the hole in the wall, which the coach saw. And then comes The Scene: two of the boys in the principals office, laughing their heads off, while the girls’ coach tries to convince the principal (who cracks up himself at the end) that she can identify the miscreant, if he will authorize a “line-up”.

I dare you to watch that scene and not laugh.

156

National Lampoon’s Animal House

The Deltas crash the parade at the end and send one of the “Playboy Bunnies” catapaulting through a window into a bedroom and onto the bed of a little boy kneeling in prayer.

The boy opens his eyes and exclaims, “Thank you, God!”

157

The entire parade scene in Animal House is great, but the “Thank you, God!” bit is particularly funny.

158

Dave: Oliver Stone on the Larry King show.

Wrong is Right: Sean Connery takes off his toupee before jumping out of a plane.

159

The Three Amigos KICK ASS!

I love that scene where Steve Martin (I think) is up on a ledge above the other two and he’s trying to quietly get their attention by making bird calls…
tooo-wit! tooo-wit!
woo-hoo! woo-hoo!
over-HERE! over-HERE!
look-at-ME! look-at-ME!

And in Ace Ventura, where he’s about to let himself into his apartment, when he hears a voice say “Ventura!”
He looks up…“Yes, Satan?”
Then it turns out to be his landlord standing behind him and he says, “Oh excuse me, I…thought you were someone else.”

160

No love for Being John Malkovich?
[ul]
[li]The fifty-foot tall Emily Dickinson puppet: “Gimmicky bastard.” [/li][li]The father, seeing the marionette play Schwartz is putting on (“From the Letters of Two Lovers”), and responding aggressively. [/li][li]Dr. Lester and his obsession with Flores: “I’ve been very lonely in my isolated tower of indecipherable speech.” [/li][li]Eliza’s (the chimp) PTSD flashback.[/li][li]Any time someone drops out of the sky next to the New Jersey Turnpike. (Trivia note: it’s actually the Long Beach freeway.)[/li][li]John Malkovich going through his own psyche and being deposited next to the Turnpike. “Malkovich! Think fast!”[/li][li]Charlie Sheen as Malkovich’s best friend. "Hot lesbian witches! It’s fucking genius! "[/li][li]The Malkovich fan in the resturant. “Yeah. So, um… as you might imagine, it… means a lot to me to see… retards… portrayed, uh, on the silver screen so compassionately.”[/li][li]The 7th and 1/2 floor. “Seven and a half, right? I’ll take you through it.”[/li][li]And of course, the 7&1/2 orientation video. “…so there’ll be one place on God’s green Earth where yee and your cursed kind can live in peace.”[/li][/ul]

And another Kaufman/Jonze film, Adaptation:
[ul]
[li]The entire opening monologue: “What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more and prove myself. What if I learned Russian or something, or took up an instrument. I could speak Chinese. I’d be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool.”[/li][li]Donald’s plan to get a job: “I’m gonna be a screenwriter, just like you!”[/li][li]Charlie’s effort to focus on writing themes: “Coffee and a muffin…banana nut, that’s a good muffin.”[/li][li]Donald’s pitch for his screenplay (“The killer, the girl, and the cop all have split-personalities. They’re all the same person. Isn’t that fucked up?..Mom said it was, ‘psychologically taut’”), and Charlie’s attempt to explain to him the logical and construction problems: “It’s Sybil crossed with, I don’t know, Dressed To Kill.”[/li][li]Charlie’s agent: “See that girl? I fucked her up the ass. No, I’m just kidding.”[/li][li]Charlie sitting in McKee’s seminar, with a self-depricating voiceover narration: “…and God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That’s flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character.”[/li][/ul]

Some Like It Hot and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels are old standards, of course (especially the scene where Steve Martin is trying to remember the name of his “old friend” in Beaumont-sur-Mer), and Dr. Strangelove is a no-brainer, what with Slim Pickens’ dead-pan speeches (“Well boys, I reckon this is it…neu-culer combat toe to toe with the Rooskies”) and George C. Scott’s facial contortions and evasions (notice the binder prominantly entitled “World Targets in Megadeaths” that Gen. Turgidson carries around protectively), but I’m surprised that no one has yet to mention Arsenic and Old Lace (or I apologize if someone has), with the inimitable Josephine Hull (also seen in Harvey) as one of the sweet old sisters that murder lonely retirees to put them out of their misery; especially her horror of putting the other body in the cellar. And this may be Grant’s finest humor performance: “I’m the son of a sea cook!” And just about any scene Peter Lorre appears in is fall-on-the-floor-worthy funny.

Stella Ritter has some utterly brilliant responses to Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window that just make the scene: (“She [Miss Torso] sure is the eat, drink, and be merry type.” “Yeah, she’ll end up fat, alcoholic, and miserable.”)

For more recent films, Sideways has some great scenes of the pathetic Miles trying to elevate himself by depricating everyone else, especially his undiscerning and mostly oblivious friend Jack, who is just trying to help him have fun: “You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.” And while this year has largely been utter shiite for movies, screenwriter Shane Black’s comeback film and directorial debut, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has scenes that set up somekiller lines: “This isn’t good cop, bad cop. This is fag and New Yorker.” (That’s not be best line, but I don’t want to spoil it for the good folks who haven’t seen it yet, and besides, I don’t want to offend all the Midwesterners by using the word “fuck” too much. :wink: )

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