In HS I crashed on my bicycle and injured my left elbow. The doctor told me that I had to limit use of my arm for two weeks. So I went to my job at Wendy’s and told my boss that I needed to be taken off the schedule. He wasn’t happy, but what could he do?
I started talking to friends at the break table about my accident. One girl came on break, heard me say I’d be back in two weeks, and asked, “Will you’re arm be OK then?” I said, “No. They have to amputate. My bionic replacement will be ready in two weeks.” She thought I was serious! So I continued telling her about the neat electronics that I could have installed. I then left, and thought the others on break would clue her in.
Well, they didn’t. Six months later, she asked me something about my bionic arm. I let her off the hook at told her I’d been joking.
I have a very fancy car alarm now. It will lock and unlock my doors, start my car, pop my trunk, turn my car on and off, and if I buy the right modules for it, roll my windows up and down, also. Anyway, when I first got it installed, I had one fob on my keychain, and the other hidden in my pocket. I had about a dozen people convinced that it was voice activated. I would hand them my key fob, put my hand in my pocket on my other one, and then demonstrate my alarm. I also had them convinced it would only respond to my own voice. Then, I went a step further and convinced everyone it would only respond to it’s own ‘name’. I also told people I could order it to respond to their voices, if I wanted to. Oh, man. It was hilarious. Everyone was so embarrassed when I told them I was lying. I think a few people left early, and still think it’s the truth, though.
–Tim
You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot. - Coldfire
when i was little (grandma’s old house so we’re talking pre-public school, mabe kindergarten) my mom went out and left me at my grandma’s. it started to rain pretty hard and then there was ligthening and thunder, too. well, a kid away from mom on a stormy night is not a good thing. my grandma tried to calm me down by telling me it was god bowling up in heaven. well, i was a bowler at a young age and knew a thing or two about gutter balls. i kept calm all night but the car ride home was too much and i started crying. i thought god would get a gutter ball and crush our little car.
I had my mother, who is not technologically inclined, convinced that intermittent windshield wipers only came on if there was water on the windshield. Lasted for about a year or so…
I hate to break it to you, but this feature does exist. My father’s Peugeot 406 has it: it’s called a rain sensor. I’m sure there must be American cars that have it too. Oh well, the joke is still funny, but there is such a thing - just thought I’d share that
Well once I was extremely bored in chat and I was in Romance (don’t ask me what possessed me to go there) but this one guy started to hit on me and stuff so I started to talk to him and I told him I was a Faery (with wings and all that. I lived in Ontario (Leeph to be specific which is one of our communes) and I was to be married soon and I could fly and all that. He told me to fly down to him to prove it I said I couldn’t because it was too cold (it was like November) I would freeze plus the north winds wouldn’t help at all. I think I had him convinced that either A I was what I was claiming to be or B I was either high or on drugs and I was convinced that I was what I was saying.
Never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention.
Crazy or on drugs I mean. High or on drugs is the same thing. and Leeph is just a place I made up last year at summer camp. Now whenever someone asks me where I’m from I tell them Leeph Canada and they believe me…
This is my first post, I couldn’t pass this one up, so I will just jump in and add a couple of my favorites.
When I was a little girl, probably about 4 or 5 years old my mom had me convinced that chocolate milk came from brown cows and regular milk from white cows. She had me going for years on this one.
Now that i’m an adult now and have a child of my own I do the same with my daughter. I told her the milk one of course and she loved that and believed me up until about two years ago when her dad told her I was just teasing her. My favorite one that I had her going on was that I had magical powers. Whenever we would go to a department store that had the automatic doors on them, you know the kinds with the sensors that open when you get close to them, well as I walked up to the door I would wave my arms up in the air and say “Shazam!” or some other silly word and the doors would open. She would just stand there staring at me in amazement! I still laugh when I think of that one…
In my fraternity, I have a reputation of knowing a lot of random trivia. I usually provide correct information for people about all sorts of things. But I’ve been known to get drunk and, well, just make up the parts I’m not sure of. Having read somewhere of a high rate of homosexuality among giraffes, I once apparently added in a statistic of 50% and that this is the highest in the animal kingdom. Who knows what else I’ve convinced these people of.
Back when I was younger and much more evil, I would screw with wrong numbers. Phone rings, somebody says, “Is Daryl there?” Normal people say, “No, there’s no Daryl here, what number were you trying to reach?”
Instead, I would do this: I’d let my voice get all hushed and respectful, and I’d say, “Oh no, haven’t you heard? Daryl’s in the hospital.”
The other person would say something along the lines of: “Oh my God, no! What happened?”
I’d make something up, trying to skirt the line of being outlandish without being totally implausible. I wouldn’t say something pedestrian, like being in a car wreck, but neither would I say something totally unbelievable, like being crushed by a dirigible. I had one guy who was attacked by a crow, multiple stitches. Another one was hit in a mall parking lot at an RV show when one of the parked vehicles’ brakes gave out. You get the idea.
Anyway, I wouldn’t belabor the story; I’d just name the hospital, and hang up.
Totally sadistic, yes. I don’t do it any more. But it was really funny when I was 15.
Okay, so this isn’t really funny to anyone else but…in high school there was this annoying little guy who kept hanging around my group of friends. Well, one of the girls was dating an older guy (out of school) and he would come and eat lunch with us everyday. We had the annoying guy convinced that her boyfriend was Joey Ramone. Yes, the Joey Ramone. He even started calling him, “Joey”, even though we explained that “Joey” was his stage name and his real name was Casey. Funny thing was, “Joey” did wear all-black clothing but–he has blonde hair! And he was just 22 at the time! And we live in Tennessee!
Well, it was funny to us at the time…
Those who are dancing look insane to those who cannot hear the music.
One-of-a-kind, custom-designed Wally sig available on request.
In junior high, we used to love tormenting you goomers from the coasts. I remember having more than one new student believing that Nebraska still had “Indian Raids” where hostile natives would swoop in on horseback shooting arrows… Rubes!
Also, I successfully convinced a fella in college that I was Jewish, not a tough task, but of course he didn’t believe me, so I wove a complex web of facts, both true and invented. Fortunately, he is not Jewish, so I could fabricate Hebrew words and definitions with impunity.
I have a younger sister who is a total hypochondriac (sp?) and after about her 5th visit to the emergency room/doctor’s office visit for that month she came to me and pointed at her stomach saying that it really hurt there. Well, I was sick of all her “brain cancer”, “meningitis”, “whooping cough”, etc. so I told her matter of factly “that’s where your prostate is.” heheheheh To start with, your prostate is not there at all (it’s in your ass) so later that day or early the next day she was back in the emergency room telling the doctor she had prostate cancer. Oh, he laughed like hell at her and then told her girls don’t have prostates. It was too funny. It really cut down on her hospital visits. They went from somewhere around 10 a month to 1 or 2 a month.
Way back in ancient times when I was a kid (ie mid 1970’s) my brother and I scraped the creme filling off of a bunch of Oreo cookies and replaced it with mint flavored toothpaste, and then we gave the cookies to my little sister. HA! Of course, the laugh was on us when mint-flavored Oreos actually went into production later, after we neglected to get the trademark on the idea.
