So, I’m getting married, as a few of you knew. She has a 12-year-old son, and we have some ahem items that we’d like to keep secure from his inquisitive, um, inquisitions. So we figured we’d buy a simple little box. With a lock. To keep stuff in. Safely. But after weeks of looking, I can’t find anything anywhere! Do a search for “lockbox” (inability to find a more descriptive search term is a separate irritation), and all that comes up are fireproof waterproof smokeproof alienproof titanium tungsten carborundum safes with 17 locks, a 12-digit code, and fingerprint scanners. In other words, a bit more than we need. All we need is a box, a few square feet, that has a lock on it. Or even a place to put a simple padlock. That would do. So once again, I turn to the Dope in desperation. Anyone?
Um, in MPSIMS or IMHO?
Buy a small suitcase/wheeled carry-on(depending on the amount of stuff). Get a travel lock with a combination(at least four wheels, three wheel locks can be brute-force opened in about ten minutes, I’ve done it). Pretend it’s empty or has some travel necessities(travel toothpaste/toothbrush/hairbrush, travel grooming kit, etc.) in it. Keep it locked so you don’t “forget the lock when I need to take it somwhere”. Stick it in the back of the closet amongst the other luggage(which is always empty and uninteresting).
It also makes a handy “overnight” bag already packed when you want a weekend away.
Enjoy,
Steven
Go to a military surplus store and buy a footlocker. It’s sure to have a lock on it because if there’s one thing the Marines hate it’s an unlocked footlocker :D.
I’ve seen the smaller ones in stationery stores. You could also buy a toolbox and a small padlock.
There’s all shapes and sizes of toolboxes, which have holes for padlocks. Quite a few of them are affordable.
I work at OfficeMax right now and they are sold at those stores and I imagine some other office supply chains as well.
Look for a “fireproof” box designed for papers and the like, they are available in varying sizes and prices and aren’t prohibitively expensive.
Speaking as a former little kid, remember a locked box is at some point going to be seen as a challenge, somewhere in the 7 to 75 year old age range, so keep that in mind.
Also, if the little box is kept hidden away in a drawer, the kid may well decide that it’s probably not seen often by you, and thus it’s safe enough for him to spirit away for short sessions of unlocking attempts.
Have you considered a short, home-sized two-drawer filing cabinet with a lock? This should be sturdy enough to resist most unlocking attempts, can’t easily be moved, and you can use it to store other important home papers. (Not “fireproof” level of safe, but some place where you can put things that you don’t want to mislay.)
Not trying to lock some stuff away is worse, because the kid will find it sooner. An attempt for years of privicy is much better. I would look for a combination lock as key locks just require picking or a key. I found keys for things my parents never did, when they moved into their first house. I also climbed to the top selves of closets before kindergarden using only a broom handle and coat hooks, walkinig up the tilted wedged broom handle. The parents kept my favorite stuff on the top shelf. I hid at the back of the top shelf from my great grandma. I never could have gotten into a combination lock, but I always found the keys to even the lock boxes.
Try the office supply stores, or hardware stores, making sure it’s a combination lock you never open in view of the kids.
Maybe you need a secret compartment built ino the furnature.
This really isn’t Cafe Society material, Smeghead, I’m thinking you’ll get better responses in MPSIMS. And congrats on your impending nuptials!
How about a cashbox? Or a safety-deposit box at a bank?
This might work, if not the company that makes it has a variety of other products.lockbox
Man, how the hell did that end up in Cafe Society? I spaced that one.
We did look at luggage, but all we could find were the kind that used those little teeny tiny padlocks that would take about three seconds to pick. But it would be worth looking more, I think. I’m wondering if all the new airline rules are prompting makers to move away from locking cases.
A foot locker might be a bit larger than we need. Or, to put it another way, if we need something that size, I’m going to begin to feel seriously inadequate. A toolbox might be a good idea, though. We hadn’t thought of that. I’ll have to look more into that.
One good thing about this kid is that he’s not very devious. In fact, most of the time he’s downright oblivious. He’s not the type to go sneaking around poking his nose into every nook and cranny (unlike me…but that’s another thread). This is mainly so he doesn’t accidentally come across anything just sitting out somewhere.
Thanks for the help so far!
How about a decoy: Keep a small suitcase (such as a rollaboard size) with a three-dial lock, and fill it with copies of baby photos. Let the kid find that and waste 15 minutes on a brute-force attack on the lock. Once he sees all the embarrassing (to him) stuff inside, stuff he really doesn’t want to brag about, he might not be interested in attempting to crack the less-obvious, more secure box.
We solved this problem by putting a lock on the bedroom door.
BUT. This doesn’t help you, so, Here’s something from Target that would work for $20.
Cashbox from Office Max for $11 that would work-second one down.
If you shop at Walmart, I’ve actually seen them there, in what I’d roughly describe as the office supplies, home office section.
Well, apparently the home office is the best place to keep those sorts of things. 
Go to your local hardware store, look at the tool chests. You’ll probably find something like this available. Note the space in between the clasps which will accommodate a padlock.
Where do you live, anyway? Someone may know a place near you.
I’d go with metal, not plastic. Trust me, a teenage boy on a quest for porn will not let some wimpy plastic stop him.
Of course, then again, in this day and age of the internet, the days of having to rifle through your parents bedroom are probably long gone.