What’s especially sad about the whole “Men’s Rights Activism” phenomenon, if you ask me, is that buried deep inside their massive festering pustulent goiter of sexist self-pitying resentful misogynistic entitlement there’s a tiny kernel of a valid cause. There are aspects of modern society that are unfair to men, which many feminists both female and male need to attack more vigorously, e.g.:
1) Violence against men not being taken seriously. Whether it’s prison rape, or statutory rape by an older woman, or school bullying, or domestic violence at the hands of a female or male partner, a male victim is too often perceived as a punchline or a shameful failure rather than somebody who deserved protection and help.
2) Patriarchal gender expectations obstructing or penalizing men in traditionally “female” roles. A friend of mine was an SAHD at one point and when he took his infant daughter to a new parents’ playgroup there were people suspecting him of being a pedophile. Seriously. Yes, we all need to be vigilant about possible danger but that kind of bigotry is just unacceptable. And don’t get me started on what guys who like to knit have to put up with from asshole strangers if they, like me, choose to spend some leisure time doing needlework in public.
3) “You’re a big strong man so I can…” Hit you. Call on you for any physical task while women equally capable of performing it sit idle. Make offensive derogatory remarks about your gender “just as a joke”. Call on you for trivial “masculine” favors (tire changing, spider killing) instead of bothering to learn how to accomplish them oneself. (Full disclosure: I do sometimes seek help from nearby men to get lids off jars BUT NEVER WITHOUT DOING MY BEST TO OPEN THEM MYSELF FIRST.)
4) Assuming men will be the ones to pay on dates. Yes, when one person invites another to be their guest on an outing the inviter should be the one to pay, whatever the gender of the inviter or invitee. But the default “date” structure between two strangers or slight acquaintances should not be expected to mimic this. The default date structure should be “one of us suggests that we do something together and if the other likes the idea then we do it and we each pay our own way”. Yes, I know about men still having a sexism-influenced financial advantage on average and all the rest of it, but it doesn’t matter: feminists should not be expecting strangers to routinely provide financial support for their leisure and social activities just because the strangers are male.
Admittedly, most of these injustices are less oppressive than a lot of the gendered restrictions and hazards that women face, and many of them are even used to justify or perpetuate male privilege so it’s not like there’s no silver lining.
Nonetheless, ultimately they are unfair to men and feminists should (and I think most do) care about that unfairness.
But that is so not what most of the modern “Men’s Rights” movement is about.
