Gaming Social Security

Always a foe of gummint programs, I am researching the possibilities in gaming the SS System. By “gaming” I mean legally exploiting their idiotic rules in order to put some of the money they’ve stolen from me over the past decades back into my pocket.

Sure, I have access to the SS regulations on the web:
but they are virtually impossible to read, and for that reason I am appealing for advice, recommendations, suggestions, reports from experience from those in a position to know.

I have never married, considering it generally stupid, but would gladly do so to help some foreigner immigrate or to increase my own wealth. My girlfriend feels the same way. The INS has promulgated the idea of “sham” marriages – ones entered into for the sole purpose of gaining entry into the USSA. But, as far as I know, there is no concept of sham marriages regarding qualification of a spouse for SS benefits.

So, the big question is: what is there that would keep us each from marrying a foreigner, particularly one with minor children, so that she/he could benefit from receiving SS payments? The last time I looked, the monthly payouts to a widow(er) with a couple of minor kids max out at around $2000 per month – an income for a Brazilian, for example, that would easily put him/her in the top 1% of Brazilian wage earners, particularly if it weren’t taxed. In return, of course, the Brazilian could do shopping, cooking, cleaning, nursing and other things typically done by a person for his/her spouse. The agreement could be tacit or even spelled out in detail, nowadays, through a pre-nuptial or post-nuptial contract, which are legal in Texas, at least.

Furthermore, it appears that all of a person’s former spouses that he has divorced are also entitled to SS once they attain a certain age if they haven’t remarried, and all of your minor children, natural or adopted, and even the alien children of your all your divorced and widowed spouses, I think. And it appears that I could skip the marriage bit and merely adopt the children of one or more women, who would then start getting Supplemental Income or whatever the hell it is that put my sister, for example, through college once my dad qualified for SS income.

Somewhere in the SS regulations are rules regarding age, sex, nationality, residence, etc. of the spouse and number of years to qualify for this and that and cutoff ages and so on, ad nauseam. But my question is this: What are all the rules a person needs to consider in maximizing his wealth and comfort by gaming the SS system through intelligent marriage and/or adoption??

I think this might be my nomination for the stupidest thread ever.

You are too lazy or ignorant to read the rules you have before you, so you wish us to do so for you to assist you in perpetuating a fraud against the federal government?

Good luck to you and your girlfriend. I expect to see the two of you on Jerry Springer some day soon.

Or America’s Most Wanted.

Gee, in another thread you claimed to be a lawyer. I thought lawyers would be able to read these regulations better than us peons.

But then again you’ve also claimed to be a chaplain and a nuclear technician, so maybe you forgot your law studies since you’ve entered so many other occupations.

Since the OP is clearly asking for advice on defrauding the federal government I’ve reported this thread to the moderators, may their lives be long a joyous.

With threads like this, how could their lives be anything but long and joyous?

Go back to South America. We don’t need you.

Dinsdale, Captain Amazing and autz,

Y’all have a problem with facts and logic, that’s all. The best solution to your problem would be for me to petition the moderator to bar you permanently for failure to offer anything but flaming.

Dinsdale, obviously not a lawyer, seems to have no idea that even the best lawyers in this country hire lawyers specialized in the intricacies of the Tax, SS and Immigration codes to fill out their tax forms and answer their questions. Unlike Tort, Criminal or Contract law, those codes bear no relation to economics or common sense, and most decent folks wouldn’t want to invite anyone well versed in them to a party!

It is safe to say that there is nobody in this country, especially any member of Congress, who knows the implications of any of those codes, the enabling legislation that followed and the court interpretations of their provisions!

You ought to do the rest of us the courtesy of reading the original post before you reply. As far as Fraud, Amerika’s Most Wanted, etc, are concerned, I said in the first paragraph that “gaming” the system, as opposed to defrauding the system, implies using LEGAL measures. Do you understand the difference between tax avoidance, the responsibility of all Amerikans to their families, and tax evasion, which is punishable?

Of course, I never maintained I was either a lawyer or nuclear technician, and would be happy to meet autz offline for a wager and presentation of evidence if he would care to make the game interesting, if he has the balls to put his money where his big mouth is!

Y’all should realize that calling an honest person a lawyer amounts to slander!


“I am indeed a nuclear physicist skilled in ICBM delivery”

posted by jimbino here:

“I have the advantage of being an attorney”

posted by jimbino here:

“I’d like to relate my own experience as a student chaplain at a 1000-bed hospital.”

posted by jimbino here:

By the way, I have no balls, but I do have enormous ovaries!

I guess that explains the dearth of invites I’ve been receiving these past coupla decades. :wally

Knock yourself out, bro.

[Moderator Hat ON]

This thread appears to be asking for ways to defraud the government, so it is locked. If you wish to contest this, please email or post in the BBQ pit. Thank you.

[Moderator Hat OFF]