And if you get ambitious with this sort of thing, you can add an eye patch to one gnome, a bandage to a different one, paint another’s hat a different color, have one hold a rainbow flag, another a gun etc. Mess with Gnome Guy’s head, bad.
The holidays are about spreading cheer, what? 
And be sure to turn them all around so they’re facing the house. Every. Morning.
Please God may my neighbour not be a SDMB member who spots this post
How about a gnome gang bang?
Heh heh. Gnome gangbangers. Maybe you could give them the colors of the Crips and the Bloods. You could have all sorts of fun staging slow-motion drive-bys.
Two things you might enjoy:
a certain episode of King of the Hill.
a videogame called Bully in which you must smash a bunch of gnomes.
Now I see more of a MASH gnome tableau. Here is triage with broken gnomes and red paint and rust prominent. Here is the OR with various gnomes on “tables” and other gnomes masked and gloved. Over there is the recovery room and the ward where gnomes are seen with small dinner trays and other gnomes carry clipboards and thermometers etc. You’d need a wee ambulance for the casualties to be brought to the MASH unit; a few choppers as well, and some enemy gnomes with artillery and bayonets.
Even better, you could arrange said gnomes to represent famous British battle scenes: Waterloo; Agincourt (need some longbows for that one), Stirling, Runnymede (that one’s a bit less bloody), wherever the hell Richard the 3rd lost his horse, the Valley of Death (Tennyson’s poem) etc.
You’ll need wigs for some of this and other props. Please, please do this. It would mean so much to so many here…
Tell you what eleanor you get you arse over to my house and you’ve got the job.
You appear to have a penchant for it
*Bosworth Field is where Dicky lost it
What? Are you trying to say gay gnomes don’t need loving, too? What are you, some kind of bigot?
I’m sorry, I just wasn’t thinking;)
Hey I just realised, he doesn’t have a single black gnome.
He must be some kind of bigot, right?
Garden gnomes don’t last very long in my neighbourhood. Against squirrels armed with knives and wearing hoodies, they just don’t stand a chance, and any that are still stuck in gardens are probably begging to be kidnapped and taken abroad.
Thank you. Tip of my tongue and all that…
I’d love nothing more than a trip to mess with British gnomes. You supply the sleeping area, the lager and the Yorkshire pud and I’m so there! I’ll bring the props and the layout for the gnomes.
I can see a LOTR set up or a Harry Potter one, too. It’s like a some kind of creative switch was flipped in my head. I can see garden gnomes set up as Guy Fawkes’ trial (that’s timely) or Victoria marrying Albert. If you want something more contemporary, let’s get a Diana, a Charles, and a Rotweiler statue…
God–that sounds like such fun. What does this say about me? Perhaps I need a creative outlet…
He’s not collecting them. They’re breeding.
You need to rent The Full Monty. There was an excellent destruction of a garden gnome!
At least if it snows hard you won’t have to see them. They are under a foot tall right?
I can see it now:
Brave British pilot gnomes scrambling into their Spitfires and Hurricanes, soaring aloft to tackle the fiendish Gnomewaffe who are intent on bombing our island into submission.
Oliver Cromwell and his New Model Army galloping on to Marston Moor to defeat the dastardly Gnomelists.
Henry V exorting his few, his happy few, his band of brothers to attack the Frogognomes at Agincourt.
Robin Hood and his Merry Men cunningly outwitting Prince JohnOGnome time and time again.
God, it makes you proud to be British:p
BTW. I got all you requested, your’e welcome just as long as you don’t make excessive demands on my body.
Under a foot tall my arse, one of the buggers stands about 36"
French Revolution Gnomes. Gnome Guillotine sounds like it would be the most fun, ever.
And a great band name.
Now I’m remembering a book called The Spellman Files (or the sequel, don’t remember which). The main character defaces every holiday scene in creative ways. They do admit that they slacked on the St. Patrick’s Day one. They just tipped everything over and covered the yard with beer cans and such. Now I have to reread the book to remember what they did to the other holidays. It was great, though.
Take a picture of the side of one of the gnomes that faces the owner’s window. Make a cardboard cutout of the picture, and paint the back of the cutout some inconspicuous colour. Install the cutout on the house side of the gnome (which will remain normally-visible from the other side). Each day, replace the cutout with a slightly-bigger one.
Or you could start modifying the sequential pictures, so that the gnome sprouts tentacles and captures a squirrel for some unholy feast or something.
