My neighbour had, up to yesterday 17 of these bastards in his front garden.
Gnomes fishing, ringing bells,climbing miniature trees,sitting on toadstools, shaking hands, sitting on wells. Everything except shagging but I guess he’s working on that.
Today his collection has increased by a further 9.
He has now got a Father Christmas gnome, a Mother Christmas gnome and 7 fucking elf type gnomes PLUS a bleeding sleigh and reindeer.
As if that isn’t bad enough, he calls around and proudly announces that mummy and daddy father fucking Christmas gnomes, together with elves,sleigh and reindeer will be lit up along with the sodding Christmas tree.
All of this in full view of me should I happen to glance out the window to my left.
Heck- you can make the gnomes shag! Just place them in the correct positions (or incorrect, whatever floats your boat) and watch the fun begin!
I don’t mind the gnomes too much. It’s the blow up shit that pisses me off. No, you do not need three inflatable snow globes with waving Santas and flying fuck reindeers. They are hideous and, unless you keep them inflated all day, look stupid deflated.
It’s getting to be that time, too.
Whatever happened to pretty lights and wicker reindeer? At least those did not stand out so much.
I came in here to mention this.
My MIL has an infestation of gnomes and I routinely move them a little bit to an entire relocation to another part of the yard.
I am also considering gifting a gnome to one of my best friends because her driveway is a MF to find in the country. A “turn left at the gnome” is just what is needed.
Also, for those who are bored or twisted, you can google x rated gnomes and find some pictures of these odd creatures that you’d never thought you’d see.
But, Gnome’s have been known to go on adventures all over the world, especially if the kidnapper has like minded peeps situated globally who can take pictures of Gnomie at various places of interest and mail the pictures back to home base.
I wouldn’t condemn…errr condone any illicit gnomenapping.
Not at all.