Indeed I am Yoshimitsu. I can also do that thing with my shovel where I jump up on the handle and bounce about with the business end down cutting mice in half.
Failing that, I might let you borrow my 9 iron.
“If you’re going to say something like that Mr Hill, you’d better have something better than an umbrella behind your back.”
“9 Iron?”
“Good enough.”
Yeah, but I heard you are the pin-up boy for the Hoxton rounders team.
So that’s probably a gilt leaf ceremonial bat.
On a plinth.
Fair enough on golf and Mr Berserker, though. He is redeemed in my eyes.
Consider yourself his redeemer.
Now as you mention it, there is a hurley under my stairs and I have no idea where it came from.
I could use that, should the need ever arise for mouse attacks.
Don’t be silly Mo, I only keep it around for hitting things with.
Although I did play a round of Crazy Golf yesterday, but thats a different matter all together.
I would imagine you could do a fair Banshee scream there Mo. Also, I have a tennis racket in my living room. But that I fear, wouldn’t be much cop against either mice or zombies. I do have an old metal curtain rail in my bedroom though, which would put a dent in anybodys head, when it comes to ‘pots and pans’ time.
After getting burgled, my mum slept for a while with a Le Creuset frying pan by her bed, before realising it was so heavy she’d have to persuade any intruders to bend down so she could hit them.
Here I am, narrowly missing being chucked into the loony bin for standing out in the car park impersonating a banshee (good call, Paul) and you’re in here banging on about the contents of your flatmate’s collegiate closet.
:dubious:
Hmph.
If you were thinking of putting “International rescue swain; Pan-European experience in saving damsels in distress from marauding zombie mice on” your cv, you’d better hope that no one checks your credentials too closely.
And as for the hurley - I might administer it to you when I see you next; you old empty promiser, you.
Old-school mouse-traps don’t leave much to impale - there was a definite “pulverising” theme that I had to clear up after. Still, they were more effective than poison - even the world’s stupidest mouse isn’t going to go for a small white plastic dish full of violently green crystals that scream ‘I’m poisonous! Avoid at all costs!’.