:eek:
:mad:
I was minding my own business in the kitchen when I hear some scratching sounds. I look up to see a brown blur come at me and then disappear under the stove. I proceed to have a mild Myocardial Infarction, and when I calm down I realize the culprit is a mouse!
What am I going to do? I hate mice. They carry diseases, and they chew up things, and they’re just nasty!!! [shudder] I hate the thought of killing it, but how else am I going to convince it to leave the premises? I didn’t invite him to come stay with me, and he certainly has no right to just move in and scare the bejesus out of me because he doesn’t fucking pay the rent around here. And even if he did pay rent, he has absolutely no right to scare me.
So I bought one of those glue pad thingys and put some food on it, hoping to trap it and just help it leave my place of residence a little more quickly than it would like to do. And the trap just sat there for days. Mocking me. So finally after a few days, I’m sitting around doing some work when I hear some loud crunching, and I think: “Gotcha!” I give little mousy enough time to fill his gut and get trapped right good. Right? Wrong. That little fucker ate everything on the pad–I think he might have even eaten some of the glue too! He did manage to leave behind some of his fur on the pad, though. I guess just to let lil ol’ stupid me know that he’d been there and partaken of the elegant repast that I was so kind as to lay out for him. Just in case the now missing food didn’t tip me off that he’d come and conquered. The little fucker. :mad:
I didn’t ask for an intelligent mouse to plague me! [sigh] I’ve got enough to contend with dealing with idiots all day long. I don’t want to have to come home to an intelligent mouse scampering and crawling around and getting into mischief. How in the hell did he manage not to get stuck on that glue pad? :mad: I’m just a little upset because I don’t know anything about mousetraps and stuff. Those spring doo-hickeys scare me because I just know I’ll manage to break a few of my fingers trying to get it set up, or maybe I’d break some toes because I’d forget I’d set it out somewhere and step on it. At least with a glue trap, I could get some solvent or something and detach myself from it. Couldn’t I? I’m just about ready to cry because I can’t figure out how to get this mouse to leave my house.
This is not negotiable. He absolutely has to go. I’ve put out another glue pad trap, but I doubt he’ll have the good grace to get stuck on it. [sigh] Why me? Why couldn’t that mouse have gone somewhere else and left me alone? Now he’s probably going to go out and tell all his friends that there’s good eats at my place. [shudder]