Gay basketball player's ex-fiance should have kept her mouth shut about being misled by him

In My Humble Opinion
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It’s obvious she’s a woman. You can decide whether that means she shares equal rights with men, or equal respect.

Then, there’s that mostly silent and unknown group of women, that have been unknowingly in relationships for years with closeted, clueless or questioning gay men.

I’ve known a few in my private life and numbers in my professional life. The results of their sense of betrayal have resulted in abandonment, addiction, and also suicide.

I certainly agree that a part of the panacea is relieving the stigmatization. But for the woman who finds out her life around a loved one and hopes for a future were a lie the effects can be devastating. This is far too personal for the social acceptance of gay lifestyle to heal.

Just imagine the private part of this for her. Can you imagine how she must be questioning her whole ability to accurately perceive and trust? That by itself will be very disturbing. Then there are more issues I won’t list.

I suppose I jumped in rather quickly. It’s foolishness to the nth degree for people to expose their most private matters in public, I think. Still the attitude that since they’ve exposed themselves means they deserve public abuse speaks to a dulling of our sense of interpersonal sensitivity.

But filtering it through my life experience I just wanted to share another perspective.

And, heck, if other people are being as tough on her as you I’d deal her a victim card.

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I’m not claiming to know anything about what he knew or when he knew it. But I do know more about what it’s like to struggle with sexual identity than you do and it just so happens that often, you know you’re not gay because gay people do X and since you don’t do X, you’re not gay, you’re straight, just with some sort of mental blockage but the right woman, time, effort and maybe a little prayer will surely fix it all up.

I’m not denying that she was hurt by his rejection and in fact, I’d be surprised and concerned if she wasn’t. But to claim that because 4 years later, he came out of the closet, he must necessarily have been a liar and a manipulative jerk is denying the pain and struggle that he’s gone through. Unless you have evidence that he was banging dudes in 2008, you should probably shut up.