Gay Children of Homophobes Unite!

Great Debates
#1

For the homophobes (defined here as anyone who thinks homosexuals are lesser, or badder, or weaker, or whatever, than heterosexuals; who thinks homosexuality is a chosen behavior; who thinks homosexuality affects anything but a homosexual’s choice of sexual partner and renders them less desirable or trustworthy as teachers or priests or leaders or soldiers; anyone who thinks homosexuality is a sin):

How will you relate to your child when he or she tells you, at say 14 years of age, that they have come to understand that they are gay?

Seriously, I want to hear those of you who consider homosexuality as anything other than just another variation on life’s palette, I want you to really imagine that possibility, and how you will deal with it.

From us GCOH’es, how did your revelation affect your relationship with your family? What advice would you give to others who find themselves in your situation?

What advice would you offer to the parents?

#2

I object to your definition of homophobia. It associates too many distinct and not-necessarily-correlated behaviors and beliefs.

#3

OK, thanks. Bye. So, homophobes and TVAA: what will you do when your child tells you he or she is gay:

#4

Sorry; I’m doing two things at once.

Meant to replace the first three words, my first response, with the rest of my response, having thought better of it.

I still would like you to answer the question, TVAA.

#5

Does anyone self-identify as a “homophobe”? Methinks you have poisoned the well, lissener.

Hey for all you racisits out there, how will you feel when your daughter marries a Black guy?

#6

I object even more. Your question is now directed at an even more heterogenous group than before, and it’s still just as limited.

Your question is also pointless. It presumes that people’s opinions are ultimately determined by their perception of their interests, which is not necessarily the case (except in a very basic and elementary sense, which isn’t particularly interesting).

#7

What term would you have me use?

#8

lissener, I object to both the commonly-used definition of the word “homophobia” and yours. However, I’ll play:

"Begone, and never darken my door again, thou unnatural spawn of Satan!!!"

Yeah, as if. More like:

“Son, 14 years of age is far too young to fix such a label on yourself. At your age I’d have engaged in erotic play with a willing adolescent of either gender and, to be crushingly honest, there were times when I was tempted to interfere with young children or animals. I’d have been a fool to call myself a bisexual, a paedophile or a bestialite (or whatever the word is). There are people who will have it that how you feel right now determines what you should consider yourself for the rest of your life. Not all of them have your best interests at heart. On the evidence of my own growing-up experiences and what I have seen and read over the years, it ain’t necessarily so. Your sexual identity as an adult has hardly begun to form. Adolescence tosses enough strangeness in your way without taking it upon yourself to hand yourself any more. Come back to me in, say, five to seven years’ time and see if you still feel the same. Never be afraid to talk to me about this.”

And to the same son aged, say, 21: “You’re a mature adult and able to decide this for yourself. I am your father and I always will be. Your mother and I will always love you.”

#9

I can tell you what my mother said:

“I’m praying the Blood Of Jesus over you. I pray that you don’t have a moment’s peace until you come back to God.”

#10

well?
Did you come back to God?
:wink:

#11

Fine, TVAA, whatever. Can we get a consensus on how I should word an OP to elicit this kind of discussion, and then I’ll email a mod to close this thread and start anew.

In the first place.

In the second place, of course I knew the people I wanted to hear from would object to my use of and definition of the word homophobe, but I figured that was an old argument, pretty much a given, and that we take it an “agree to disagree” kind of starting point.

but whatever; if someone can suggest a better way, I’ll gladly reframe the question.

#12

How does considering homosexuality a chosen behavior make one into a homophobe? Can anyone prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that considering homosexuality a chosen behavior MUST go hand-in-hand with thinking that homosexuality is bad?

I would like to see the “reasoning” on this–if there is any.

#13

Seriously, I want to hear those of you who consider homosexuality as anything other than just another variation on life’s palette

i am a bit confused too Dogface

#14

And besides, merely thinking homosexuality is bad or wrong doesn’t imply “homophobia”: the term was originally a supposed psychiatric condition wherein a person was irrationally terrified of even the slightest suggestion or implication of homosexuality, generally thought to occur because the person was repressing their own homosexuality.

Merely disliking spiders doesn’t imply someone is a arachnophobe; merely disliking homosexuals or homosexuality doesn’t imply someone is a homophobe.

#15

Bullshit, TVAA.

The American Psychiatric Association defines homophobia as fear, anxiety, anger, discomfort and aversion towards homosexuals. It is not and never has been exclusively “irrational fear”. It’s a sophistic argument to make.

#16

I’ve asked the mods to close this thread. Can we pick up this discussion here, minus the terminology debate?

Not that the terminology isn’t debatable, but let’s leave that debate for a separate thread.

#17

I’m talking about when the term originated, Homebrew. It doesn’t really matter how the APA defines it now when we’re talking about how it was defined then.

Again, the oldest explanation for homophobia was repressed homosexuality (good night, Mr. Freud!).

#18

Then I’m going to have to ask for a cite, TVAA. I don’t believe it has ever meant “fear” only.

#19

Please tell me just how it is that somebody who considers homosexuality a matter of choice MUST dislike homosexuality AUTOMATICALLY. Just how does the latter inevitably follow from the former?

#20

Perhaps it’s not “automatically” Dogface. But since the people who claim it is a choice are practically all also saying we should choose heterosexuality, it’s a good rule of thumb.