Gay Dopers: how out are you/relationship with your family?

If you’re a GLBT Doper, which of the above best describes your relationship with your family? Choose two (one for the how out are you, one for family).

Poll voting is private for obvious reasons but of course feel free to post in the thread.

Options 1 and 8 for me.

I’ve been out (completely) since before there was such a thing as “out.”

Forgot to vote in the second part–I’m out to everyone except with people it hasn’t come up with, which includes some cousins and great-uncles. Some are cool with it, some aren’t, and I don’t talk to the one that aren’t.

I’m out to anyone that matters - a few distant aunts/uncles wouldn’t know, but then I hardly see them anyway.

Work is a bit different - I don’t actively hide my sexuality but, being freelance, I tend to work with a lot of new people a lot of the time, and I don’t find it appropriate to announce my sexuality on a weekly basis, which is what I’d have to do to keep the world up to date. So there’s plenty of people I work with who wouldn’t know, but not through any grand design, it’s just that my private life isn’t a topic of conversation if I’m only working with them a short time.

I’m in kind of a weird situation, since I’m out to the vast majority of my high school friends but none of my college friends (still kind of testing the waters on that one). I’m also out to my parents but I came out to them 5 years ago and I think they may think it was just a phase I was going through - since for a while my mom would say “in the future, your husband or partner” and now just says “your husband”. Anxiety (and lack of necessity - I’m not dating atm) have kept me from setting these errors right.

One thing that might be worth mentioning is in-laws. It’s pretty much a non-issue in both my and my partner’s families (though it was a little rocky when first coming out). I’ll bet, though, that there are a lot of couples whose respective families are very different.

My mother outed me to her super-conservative fundamentalist father. He was sort of fine with it — I’m going to hell anyway for living in a city, and that was just icing on the cake.

Thighs are ok now, but for a number of years my family and I barely spoke. Most of my immediate family still thinks I’m going to hell, but our relationship is pretty good otherwise.

Would the term “out” actually apply to transgendered people? :confused:

How very Freudian. :wink:

Heh. Posting from my iPhone and not fully awake. I’m suprised that was the only one.

Also forgot to say, I’m fully out. I dont see any reason not to be.

Sure. “Mom, Dad, I may have the body of a boy but I have a girl’s brain, and I’m going to transition to female.”

Or… “Hey, friend, to answer your question, the reason I look a little masculine is because I am actually biologically male - but I am a girl and I want people to think of me as a girl.”


I mis-read this at first; “Hunh, that’s a pleasant way to describe your sexuality.” :smiley:

That’s because you live in LA. :stuck_out_tongue:

Completely out, whole family knows, everyone says they’re completely cool with it. I suspect my dad actually isn’t but I don’t really see him now anyway so it’s not like it matters (my parents are divorced).

My mother knows I’m bi-sexual and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t actually believe it. I have no idea if my dad knows (I haven’t told him directly, but mom might have) or, if he does, how he feels about it. The only reason she knows is it was relevant when I went on a date with my best friend at the time. It was awkward trying to explain that we weren’t just going to hang out as friends, but it was actually a date. I didn’t talk to her about any girlfriends I had after that point.

Really I only tell people if it’s relevant to our relationship (romantically) or conversation. I’ve encountered enough incorrect assumptions about bi-sexuals that I don’t feel like dealing with anymore, and I’m currently involved with a man, so people assume I’m straight.