Gee, maybe I can get hit by a fucking TRUCK, too!

The BBQ Pit
1

The last 48 hours have SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED. Goddammit! I am in a PISSY MOOD!

Let’s see:

To start with, my old landlord from Cleveland claims a bunch of fucking charges against our security deposit–in fact in excess of our security deposit. Some of the items were for things done by prior fucking tenants. After going back and forth with him on just exactly what we are and aren’t responsible for, he still claims a bunch of money. I don’t feel like dragging this shit out, so I sent him the bloody check Monday.

Yesterday morning, we leave early for work. There is, apparently, an accident on US1 heading north towards the Beltway. Only we don’t know this until traffic merges from one lane down to three right before. As we pass, I count 11 – 11! – police officers there, several of whom are doing nothing. One is literally sitting sidesaddle on his motorcycle, contentedly staring up the fucking street. How, how about one of you maybe directing some traffic?? So it takes us 25 minutes to go four miles, and I’m late to work.

I get to work, and the elevators aren’t working properly. I have to climb the stairs a couple of levels to catch one. At least I didn’t have to climb 10 floors.

Yesterday evening, as I am waiting for Leigh-Anne to pick me up, I get a call from her. She’s got a flat tire in her parking lot. Peachy. We were planning on getting new front tires soon anyway, so I assume it’s one of the fronts. Nope. It’s the rear driver’s side. So, since I was getting the front ones, now I have to get one back one, and of course I can’t just do three tires, so the purchase of two tires suddenly becomes four.

We’re leaving this morning to go to work, Leigh-Anne looks over, and our bikes have been stolen off of our patio. Three bikes, all gone, the chains cut. I have renter’s insurance, so the bikes are covered, but goddammit, I’m hate that feeling of someone else just walking up and taking your shit!!

Fuck!!! What the hell else can happen to me today?

2

Um, yipe.

I still love you, Phil!

runs like hell in case Phil takes that the wrong way

3

{{{{{{{{Phil}}}}}}}}}
Gee, what else can happen? Maybe they will change the law and make school prayer required…ducking…

4

Look both ways before crossing :smiley:

-Sam

5

[bubbe]

At least you have your health, Phil.

[/bubbe]

6

Gee, it wasn’t much consolation, but I (yes, I will do something fairly rare for me and brag) I changed the tire by myself.

Oh, sure, some man finally came out of the building and offered to help after I’d gotten the car jacked up (on I swear the smallest jack I’ve ever seen) and had the old tire off…he held the spare while I put on the lug nuts and gave them an extra twist and then put the damaged tire in the trunk…but the rest was all me. And let me tell you it wasn’t an easy task, but it sometimes feels good to know I don’t have to stand there ringing my hands waiting for some big strong man to help me.

There was another man who asked how I was doing (while I was kneeing on the ground gradually cranking the jack and getting excessively grimey) and if I “had it.” When I replied yes, he said, “Good…I didn’t want to get dirty,” got in his SUV and drove away. I laughed to myself because I didn’t much care about getting his help. Sure, its nice when people stop to offer help (I would’ve loved a full-service garage to pop onto the spot), but I felt sufficiently independent and capable of completing the task at hand. (BTW, the guy who did help at the end had that “step aside and let a man help you” air to him.<shrug>)

Of course, today I’m sore, but I can deal.

Still…it would’ve been nice if those things hadn’t happened.

BTW, Phil, I understand from a man who got on the Cue bus that (after I arrived) they had to stop all trains coming in and out of the station because of a fire in one the of tunnels! <phew>

Peta T.

7

Do NOT buy a lottery ticket today. Your karma is definitely in the red. SERENITY NOW!

8

On a day like this, it’s best to cook your own meals!

9

trade- What? Are you daft? And risk having the cat decide to investigate the frying pan while Phil simmers his vegetables? Or having the refridgerator spontaneously combust? Or having a small gas leak start and slowly lead to carbon monoxide poisoning while watching Frasier? (After all, it’s hard to tell the difference between watching Frasier and slow carbon monoxide poisoning.)
True, ordering out could result in disaster. (“Yes, you order pork and beef special! We have order right here! You get free dog-fried rice with!”) But given the alternatives, fasting is probably the best option.

And “Phil simmers his vegetables” is probably the best euphemism for masturbation I’ve made all week.

10

[Hijack] Immediately I make the Simpson connection. Fraiser’s Kelsey Grammer (Grahmer? Too lazy to look it up) as Sideshow Bob trying to kill Bart’s aunt Selma with a slow gas leak meant to cause a massive explosion when she lights her cigarette. That’s a lot John for proving I’m being mentally molded by PLD’s Simpson obsession! :stuck_out_tongue:
[/Hijack]

And Trade–You mean I gotta cook, TOO?!

11

**

Phil, I told you not to get her that vibrator!

:: D & R ::

Yer pal,
Satan

[sub]I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
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5470 cigarettes not smoked, saving $683.77.
Extra life with Drain Bead: 2 weeks, 4 days, 23 hours, 50 minutes.[/sub]

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12

And here I was worried about my use of the term “jacked up”!

13

that sucks phil. But, look on the bright side, at least it’s not worse.

Go take a nice relaxing bubble bath. You’ll feel much better afterwords. And today isn’t all bad. Look at what happened with the Mcdonalds case.

14

Does that mean the size of the tires is different on the front then on the back? Otherwise why couldn’t you still only replace 2 tires? Maybe I need to get a newer vehicle someday so I know these kinds of things :-p

15

Well, theoretically I could’ve just replaced or repaired the one that was punctured, but I prefer to replace them on a per-axle basis, two at a time. So I replace the two rear ones, and that leaves me with two new in the back, and two nearly treadless ones in the front, which doesn’t leave me feeling too safe in a FWD car.

16

Okay, pull the front of your pants out and look down inside. Is Mr. Happy still there? See, life isn’t that bad.

17

When it rains, it pours.
Here’s hoping tomorrow is a sunny day for you.
Sorry about your bad luck.
Let’s hope whoever is now riding your bike slams their privates on that hard bar. :slight_smile:

18

After I thought about it I realized that you already had 2 tires you were replacing and the flat would have made a 3rd tire. I can understand not wanting to replace just 3 tires.

(in my best Gilda Radner voice) Nevermind.

19

Hurray, we’ve found the cats have fleas! At least we’re all suffering together. Treatment is underway and hopefully this will be cleared up soon. BTW, this is hte first time ever (and the eldest cat is 8) that our cats have gotten fleas.

<sigh>At least our moods have lightened…taking in all in stride and all that rot.

20

Hey! Fleas have rights too! Insects are animals! We should peacefully co-exist with fleas, ticks, chiggers, scorpio…

OW! HEY! Stop throwing things at me you two! AGH!

:: running ::

Yer pal,
Satan

[sub]TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
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5524 cigarettes not smoked, saving $690.59.
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"Satan is not an unattractive person."-Drain Bead
[sub]Thanks for the ringing endorsement, honey!*[/sub]