Ooooo that Enzyte Bob guy…
First time I saw that commercial I thought it was really funny.
Second time i saw it I thought it was amusing.
Now I have seen it 84,000 times, and if I ever see that actor out on the street I am going to knock that smile off his face with a 9 iron.
I HATE the these adds, hate them.
I mentioned this before, but I always wanted the adds to end like this:
Doctor: I’m sorry Mrs. Johnson but I am afraid that your 3 year old Johnny has a rare and potentially fatal form of childhood leukemia but I do have some good news.
Mother: What is it doctor? Do you have a cure?
Doctor: No, but I just saved 15% on my car insurance by calling Geico.
Loud thumping and screaming is heard, follow by pitiful wimpering.
Mother: Hey, I just broke both your kneecaps with a baseball bat, but it’s okay, you just saved 15% on your car insurance with Geico!
Or:
Short pause, sound of a door being smashed down.
Mother: Good news! I just called the Hell’s Angels and told them you said they were a bunch of pussys. That’s ok, you just saved 15% on your car insurance with Geico.
Sound of doctor being beaten to a bloody pulp.
THAT would be funny!
Anyone else hate Burger King and Dr. Angus?
Almost makes me forgive Wendy’s for Mr. Wendy…
Gosh, I’ve got to stop recording every show I want to watch just so I can zip through the commercials. This ‘Soap Opera’ one is the only one I’ve seen, and it cracks me up. DiTech? What is DiTech? and Enzyte?
Some kind of internet-promoted credit agency. Their interminable commercials feature a recurring actor playing a bank loan officer who keeps losing his customers to Ditech’s better terms/rates/ease of use. He’s a 21st-century Mr. Whipple with an updated “don’t squeeze the Charmin” mantra.
I find those commercials tiresome, though Geico’s usually make me smile, including the “Senate Hearing” one:
Senator: Well, Mr. Smith, after hearing all the testimony, this commitee finds you guilty on six counds of fraud, insider trading and questionable accounting practices. [gets handed a note and reads it] Well, it appears I have some good news.
etc.
“Soap Opera” cracks me right up, though.
There was a hysterical series of commercials for Reno-Depot (a Canadian chain of hardware/home renovation stores), of which a typical example was:
“LAWNCAPTAIN EZ SWITCH”
VIDEO: Open in the living room of a superb home. The décor is rich, the carpets plush, the vestibule impressive. We also notice a futuristic-looking lawn mower. VOICEOVER: Introducing the new LawnCaptain EZ Switch…
VIDEO: A man is showing us the blades.
VOICEOVER: Its decorative blades will add style to your lawn. But there’s more! VIDEO: A man pushes the mower. Behind him, the grass now has a flower motif. VOICEOVER: Move the switch and pave your driveway!
VIDEO: The switch is moved to “pave” and the guy paves his driveway.
VOICEOVER: Impress the neighbours with the integrated sprinkler(s)!
VIDEO: We see the double sprinkler in action.
VOICEOVER: Recycle grass into logs for your fireplace.
VIDEO: We see a log coming out of the mower. We are now back in the living room in front of the fire. The man salutes us.
VOICEOVER: Aye Aye Captain!
SUPERIMPOSED TEXT: If it existed, we’d have it.
VIDEO: We see a quick animation of many kinds of lawn mowers.
ANNOUNCER (VOICEOVER): If it existed, we’d have it. Because at Réno-Dépôt, we’ve got more brands, more models, more choice.
LOGO: Réno-Dépôt.
The mock products they advertise are hysterical and I always end up wishing such machines really existed.
DiTech is just the brand name used by GMAC, General Motors Acceptance Corporation, which no longer limits its business to new car loans.
I like the parodies (e.g. “My regime has fallen; my sons are dead; and I’ve been captured – but I have good news…”) better than the actual commercials.
I’d think you’d use your wood.
Rates vary by state depending on regulation. In some states they’re competitive. In other states they’re a corner lemonade stand with a “solid gold ingots only” sign on the front.
And in yet other states <coughfuckingnewjerseycough> they don’t even bother trying to set up shop and dealing with the ungodly amount of bureaucratic bullshit required to sell car insurance.
Of course, I’d love to save 15%. Here in Jersey, that’d be a few hundred bucks. 
I got just three words…
Carrot “I’msodamnuglyIneedcutechickstomakemyshittyATTlongdistancecommercialswatchable” Top.
I wanna put Carrot Top through a Salad Shooter.
Along with the DiTech guy.
I can understand you claiming that these commercials are not funny. But how are they insulting? Who are they offending? I dont get that.
The big problem with the commercials is when people IRL try to pull that catch phrase out to be funny.
Last Christmas I was doing everything I could to get leave and see my family. I arranged for other soldiers to cover a stupid shift for me, and worked everything out. My NCO said he would consider letting my go home if I could get the shifts covered and re-due the schedule in a manner acceptable to everyone. I did this. I then submitted it and waited for his reply. The fucker, knowing how badly I wanted to go home and be with my family, calls me up.
“CPL Nenno, I have some good news for you”
“Really? I can get leave for Christmas?”
“No, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Gieko” (followed by jeveneile laughter)
“Thanks SGT. Why don’t you fucking grow up asshole!!” (followed by me hanging up)
up to right about here.
Those commercials bring my level of outrage from here…
I love the Geico commercial where the young, innocent yuppie couple buy the crappy house.
Couple: We just fell in love with its charm,
Contractor It needs a new roof, the foundation is crumbling and the electricity is shot. …but I have good news…
I adore this commercial to the tips of my very toes. Every stupid moronic wide eyed home buyer that thinks buying a cuuuuuuuuute litttttttle hooooouse to fix up will be easy, quick and cheap has no freaking idea the black hole it will suck out of their wallets and their lives and relationships for the next fifteen to fifty years. Until they are financial and emotionally exhausted, sell the house and its assorted problems to the next generation of wide eyed idealistic idiots. Irony here folks, is that most of our friends are Fix It Up Guys. Oh, the stories they tell. This Old House is clearly to blame. Not all houses are worth saving, they are not human. They are inanimate objects.
Ditech is pretty funny. Who is that guy? He is so familiar and I cannot place it.
[hijack] My god, how timely your post is. My girlfriend has been househunting intensely for her first. Just this passed Sat. we went to look at a house that she (and me actually) had completely fallen in love with. Adorable, on top of a hill, with a view of the water, a beautiful deck, etc. We’d seen it before and she had actually already put a bid down. Sat. was the engineer walk-through. Hooo Boy!! The entire foundation was crumbling!!! (and that’s one of many problems).
Yes, we’re learning. [/hijack]
How come nobody has yet mentioned Mr. Jiggy-Fly?
Don’t use bad words,
You ain’t no puppet show,
Always use good manners
When eatin’ a Sloppy Joe-o!
Yeah, go on and on and on and on,
PEACE!
I love that guy.
CD drops dis Tuesday, yo.
We’re good in Texas, Mew Mexico, New York and a couple other states. I live in Iowa and here we’re almost 3 times what I pay at Progressive. I almost tell Iowans to switch when they call in.
BTW: I hate those damn commercials. I think I would hate them less, though, if I didn’t hate my job so much.
There’s an 800 number after each commercial. Call me some time. I could use the laugh.
Goddammit!
Do you know how fucking hard it is to blow pieces of Count Chocula completely out of your nose?
Ava
I agree, although I haven’t seen or heard any like that the OP describes. And I don’t usually listen to the radio in my car. (HATE ads anyway, so I usually push in the tape when I have been bouncing from station to station too long trying to avoid them).
And I think the gecko is cute.