If it’s “hard wired” that means it’s built in, as opposed to something society does to us.
There are built-in differences between men and women, though they don’t apply to all individuals (in the way that men, in general, are taller than women, but not every individual man is taller than every individual woman). Some societies emphasize, exaggerate, or add to such differences; others downplay them.
Compared to most human societies throughout history, our modern society has less rigidity about gender roles, and more freedom for people to go along with or to go against those roles.
Not everybody wants to do away with gender roles. Some people like them because they benefit from them (like the woman who never has to pay for her own drinks or the man who never has to do his own laundry). Some people like them because they like structure and knowing exactly what’s expected of them and of the people around them. Having a rigidly defined role to play in the world can make your life a lot easier, if your socially-assigned role is compatible with your natural tendencies and abilities.
I find it interesting that, in the animal kingdom, there are some species in which the sexes are practically identical in appearance, roles, and behavior, and others in which they are very different.