And here I am crossing off dog breeds because they kinda smell more than other dogs.
No wonder he was ticked off…
Reminds me of old advice that if you have a truly hated enemy, you’ll get him a Dancing Bear as a gift.
There’s a Jack London story in there somewhere.
Messed up story about the chimp. But I can’t help thinking about the headlines if the worlds were reversed:
I hate chimps. I hate chimp movies, chimp stories and chimp photos. They aren’t in the least bit cuddly or cute, but are always portrayed that way, as some sort of miniature, hairy humans. They’re vicious, and as mentioned, go for the genitals and the fingers when provoked.
That would seem to imply that all chimps that have been kept in captivity should have attacked someone at some point, or are on the verge of doing so.
Do you have anything concrete to reinforce such a claim?
“Experienced handlers never go in with the primates,[chimpanzees]” says Director of Connecticut’s Beardsley Zoo
adult chimps are too difficult and dangerous to be handled, says St. Louis Zoo
And we share, what, some 90% of our genes with them.
Can zoo chimps be said to have the same upbringing as one that has been raised as a pet though? Shouldn’t there be numerous reports of chimps going ape on their owners or their family and friends?
And what’s the business about the chimp being 14 years old and ‘acting like a teenager’? Do they have exactly the same ‘body clock’ as humans?
as they live into their 60’s, their body clock is closer to human; than say… dog to human.
Eh, so does my brother-in-law, and he’s as vicious as any chimp.
Well, there you go. A good guy to have on your side in a bar fight, but a vicious bastard to piss off however innocently.
Bonobos on the other hand, are cool.
I better contact my HMO and tell em its a big negatory on the helper monkey.
Chimps are apes, not monkeys. Monkeys have tails, apes do not.
I do not wish to offend a guest. We are sort of obsessive here.
Don’t piss me off. You don’t wanna know what I go for ! 
No, it wasn’t the bullets. Twas beauty killed the beast.
You maniacs…you blew it up!
Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Sorry, whenever I think of apes that phrase pops up in my mind.
It should be illegal to keep apes, monkeys, lions, tigers, bears, pythons, etc. as pets. This not only deprives the animal of living in a natural environment, it endangers the entire household and any visitors.
Could we get you something, Sir? Perhaps a nice bunch of bananas?