George Clooney's potential death toll

Say George Clooney were to announce a live, globally broadcast press conference. During it he unbuttons his shirt and plucks out two of his chest hairs. He says that he will post them to the first viewer to turn around and murder someone. How many people die?

Disclaimer: Of course, Mr. Clooney would never do such a thing, it’s all hypothetical. Scenario taken from Charlie Brooker (who is right about everything).

Which celebrities would have a larger death toll using only the medium of a press conference?

Nobody dies.

Who would kill for George Clooney’s chest hair? I’m sure someone will be along shortly to tell me, though.

I’m a big Clooney fan. I don’t want his hairs, chest or otherwise. Most of his female fans are adults. The “Murder for Hair” scenario would work better, with Beiber and his maniacal tween fans.

This is assuming Beiber has hit puberty and has chest hair to pluck.

I don’t think it would happen instantly and I don’t think thousands of people would die, but I honestly think a few people would. There’s enough crazy people out there and enough of them lusting after George that I think some of them would happily jump on an opportunity to impress him.

This reminds me of something. Years back, when Six Feet Under was in it’s last few seasons (without spoiling anything) I saw an interview with Peter Krause where he mentioned that when he was out running (on his own time) occasionally people would come up to him and tell him he probably shouldn’t be jogging what with his health issues and all… These people saw him on the street and seemed to think he really was Nate and that he might hurt himself by exercising.
Not a perfect analogy, but I think it just goes to show how delusional people can be. Look at how often celebrities have to get restraining orders against rabid fans. And let’s not forget that whole Jodie Foster thing.

Now, now, mankind has apologized for Jodie Foster on several occasions! No need to constantly bring it up.

george Clooney is an awesome actor. I read about him daily at

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