Neighbors can make things easy for each other or miserable. I vote for easy. If my neighbors go for difficult, I am more than up to the challenge.
Easy and difficult is a matter of perspective.
The 89-year old woman would think that the neighbors are making it easier if her neighbors stopped playing football in front of her house.
The neighbors think that the 89-year old woman would make it easier by allowing their kids to play football in front of her house.
And both think that the other is making life difficult by not allowing what they want.
Since people differ on who is right here, it’s not obvious who is being difficult here and even less obvious when you’re the person who is being affected.
I still can’t stop thinking that being old and bitter plays a role in here somewhere.
Young and energetic can clash with old and bitter. That’s what happened, IMHO. Personally, I don’t enable old people by catering to their excuses for losing touch, being grouchy and everything else that goes with the ‘getting old’ routine.
Old people want respect, they don’t want to be treated differently and they can be valuable members of society, but get off the old and bitter kick already. It’s so played out. I think it’s the result of acting the way you think you are supposed to act when you get older.
The difference is you have an elderly woman who wants a little peace and quiet versus a bunch of screaming trespassing kids who can play just about anywhere on the planet. The right thing to do is move the game down the street or to a park. It’s not a matter of perspective, it’s a matter of courtesy and respect.
If you’re taught by your parents to run to the police for every little social issue then guess what kind of old person you’re going to turn into? Grumpy old bastard would be the polite description.
I’m 38 and earlier this week told the neighbor kids to quit playing ball on my front lawn.
I couldn’t believe myself, either. But it’s been three solid years of inconsiderate neighboring, I’m done. The parent’s idea of being a good neighbor is telling her guests not to swear at me too loudly when I come over at 3 a.m. and ask them to please at least take the party inside the house so it’ll be quieter for everyone else.
I’m usually nice to the kids, kid noise is a normal part of living in a neighborhood. There’s a park directly across the street and an elementary, no big deal on the noise. They were playing ball, which meant the older sibling and his buddy were mercilessly teasing the younger one by throwing a football at him, in my front yard. I was trying to watch a movie in my own living room and got up and closed the windows and the front door to muffle the noise and realized it was still really loud, that’s when I asked them what they were doing. They explained they couldn’t play in their yard since no one had picked up after their new puppy all week, but my yard was nearby and handily poop-free.
I feel like a cad, actually, but dammit it was rude.
I would have told them to move too, Queen Tonya. But there’s a big difference between screaming kids playing in your yard, and an occasional ball landing on your lawn.
That’s where the potential conflict arises.
I interpreted the article to be pretty much what Queen Tonya experienced.
I’m not sure how you interpreted the quoted words to be that an “occasional” ball landed on her lawn. Here’s the quote from the article.
One of the difficulties is that her words are not translating to me. What does “playing the ball down” mean?
The part that makes me think that it’s not “occasional” is when she says “and all over and all over”. I don’t know what that means either but it has that repetitive feel to it that makes me think that this happens frequently.
As Sleeps With Butterflies noted earlier, it’s hard to tell what’s going on without more information.
I think she meant that they play ball up and down the street, and the “all over and all over” means that they end up “all over the place”.
Did she give the ball back?
Is it legally her property since it fell in her yard?
What a freaking mess. You know how you read some of these stories and you think to yourself, “Gosh, that could happen to me…”?
Well, I know for a fact that this shit would never happen to me, because I am a reasonable person. If was the old lady, I would accept the occasional ball in my yard as proof that I live in a diverse neighborhood with other people of all ages. Children play; and balls don’t always go exactly where they are aimed. This is a fact. If I required a completely child-free environment, I’d move to a senior citizen complex.
And, if I was the parent of ball-playing kids, I’d keep my kids out of the cranky neighbor’s yard and if one of their balls got intercepted by said cranky old neighbor, I wouldn’t call the flipping police, I’d just tell the kids, “Well, she’s a cranky old lady but it’s her yard – keep your balls away from her.” Talk about a big fat tempest in a teapot from both sides!
The thing the cranky old lady doesn’t seem to understand about living in a diverse neighborhood with people of all ages is that there are pros and cons to such a neighborhood. One of the cons is putting up with children, who are often annoying & loud & careless.
And one of the pros was buried in an earlier story, when the children’s dad mentioned that he has mowed the old lady’s grass for her. In a diverse neighborhood, there are young, fit people to help out the old, less fit people. I wonder if this particular old lady will maintain her isolationist attitude when her walks need shoveling.
The other component that pisses me off is the ‘whining culture’ that has enabled people to complain about $hit that doesn’t matter.
In the USA, we are expected to play certain roles because others tolerate and promote these roles, especially TV/Movies/etc.
It should be unheard of to complain and worry about crap that doesn’t matter. People throwing sissy fits over dust on their cars, balls on their lawns and outdoor lights that are too bright, too this, too that. People, SHUT THE F-UCK up already.
Soooo sick of people and their ‘problems’. If you have kids playing outside and have kids on your lawn fetching a ball, you have ‘problems’. If you can only buy a 42" plasma hi-def TV instead of the 50" model, and have to cut your $200/month cable bill back to 150, you have ‘problems’.
If you can’t drive your enormous ass around, alone, in a $55,000 dollar SUV to the tune of 100 miles per day, and you need to cut back and maybe walk here and there and drive a $40,000 crossover, you have ‘problems’.
Please, enough of this old pile of crap and her problem.
She still has the ball, and a few others from previous bad throws. I don’t know the answer to the other question.
Word.
I really have no sympathy for either side here, because both parties are acting like gigantic childish morons. What, have they never learned how to be courteous to other people?
Listen up, you dumbass kids:
If you fuck with old people’s yards, sometimes they keep your stuff. It’s the way of the world. Everyone knows this. It’s what old people do. Shut. Up. Also–this is how you deal with the old lady next door, you utter morons: You stay out of her yard, you be polite and courteous when you see her–say “Good morning, Mrs. Jester!” and other things. Offer to help carry her groceries–hell, offer to pick up something at the store when you’re running down to pick up milk. If there’s no fence separating your yards–offer to mow her lawn too when your dad made you get up on Saturday morning and mow yours. If she doesn’t return this courtesy, you can continue to ignore her. But if she steals your damn ball, shut. the. fuck. up. It’s a ball. And stay the fuck out of people’s yards and stop bugging them, unless you’re invited. It’s rude.
Listen up, parents of said stupid kids:
What the hell? It’s a ball. Have YOU never learned about crotchety old people? Maybe if you taught your dumbass kids some manners, they wouldn’t provoke the ire of the neighbors. Obviously, YOU should have taken the damn ball away temporarily when they were bugging the neighbor, or maybe taught them some of the tactics illustrated above, or maybe made them go play somewhere else. Then the neighbor wouldn’t have had to dole out the consequences.
On Preview, I see that the dad had mowed the old lady’s lawn, so perhaps the parents were trying to teach their kids some of the tactics mentioned above, and got tired of her shit. Still, let’s remember: old lady. ball. calm. down.
Listen up, you crotchety old bag:
What, are you stupid? You don’t catch flies with vinegar. You ask the kids to keep it down, you ask them to stay out of your yard. You don’t freak the fuck out when they occasionally do play in your yard because–god knows–your creaky old ass isn’t gonna be playing football in it. If they damage it, document it and ask the parents to pay for it, or make the kids fix it. If they won’t pay for it, perhaps you put up a fence, maybe take it to small claims if it’s a big deal. If they don’t damage it, calm. the. hell. down. Also, this is how you deal with dumbass teenagers: talk to their parents–make yourself friendly with them. If their parents like you, they will tell their kids to be nice to you, and at least, the kids may leave you alone. You perhaps make with the lemonade on hot summer days when they’re playing outside–go sit in a chair in the sun and TALK to them. Once they know you, and like you, you can probably get some free labor out of the chuckleheads.
If that doesn’t work, again, put up a fence.
If they are dangerous, as you seem to imply with this statement: “That’s the only protection I have.” Then call the cops! Also, put up a strong fence.
Jesus. H. Christ.
If my crazy Pentecostal grandmother and the nice lesbian couple next door can make friends, then I have no sympathy for these guys.
Sillyness. At best, the kids have a small claims right to sue her for the ball or the money. I don’t think it rises to a criminal matter.
I agree with the “not enough info” comments. If the kids were tormenting her, or if the noise was awful, I’d understand her reaction more. If it’s normal kid noise and an occasional ball lands in her yard, she’s being unreasonable. But under no circumstances would I call the cops on an 89-year-old lady for keeping a football, even if I thought she was being a bitchy old broad. When you’re that age, that’s your prerogative, IMHO.
I’ve stopped giving back any balls, and I tell the little shits to go to hell (it’s always ‘the last time’ and a few hours later they’re back). They don’t even live there, they come round to make use of someone else’s communal area, and smash up anything that’s lying around and spread the resulting trash everywhere. I hope a car runs them over in the street one of these days.
Obviously we don’t have all the details, but my inclination is to side with the old woman on this one.
There are quite a few retired people in our neighborhood, and quite a few families with kids, so it’s fairly age-diverse. Most of the retired people’s yards are immaculate compared to everyone else’s; for example, our next door neighbors have a whole japanese tea garden setup going on, complete with statues and bonsais. I’d be completely sympathetic if they didn’t want kids coming anywhere near their yard, but what recourse do they have unless the kids finally break something? It’s not really trespassing that anyone’s going to be interested in if it’s only footballs flying over, so there’s pretty much nothing else they can do until the kids break something or unless they know who the parents are. From the article, it sounds like it wasn’t the first time the ball was in her yard. She could’ve called the cops on the kids for trespassing, but I doubt it would have done much good. Maybe she also should’ve gone to the parents first, but if the kids’ parents are the kind of people who call the police on an old woman who keeps a football, well, I understand if she felt it wouldn’t have done any good.
Personally, my yard is not perfect and I still don’t want kids near it. I used to think pickup games and unattended children roaming the neighborhood was a nice thing about living in neighborhoods with kids until I started having to deal with kids on bikes deliberately swerving in front of my car, listening to their cackling, music, and swearing at all hours, and having to yell at them for teasing my (attended) dogs through a fence. It’s why we moved to a somewhat less densely populated area, and why I’ll be the first person calling the cops if I end up having a conflict with the little buggers. It’s not worth it to try to deal with them yourself, as this story has shown.
As someone who grew up with the crotchety old couple at the corner of the block, who pounded nails through the top of their fence to stick our hands as we crawled across, and who told my friend to ‘Go back to your own country’ when a ball landed on the boulevard (yes… not lawn… the actual BOULEVARD that is beside the road) I have to side with the kids. In the article, she sounded like she doesn’t like to see children playing in the street. Really, that’s why they made adult only communities.
Wonder if crotchety old lady has a cat that regularly wanders yards? A cat is still property. Just saying…