My grandfather used to tell my mother when she was little, “tables are for glasses, not for asses.”
To the health department? You don’t change a dirty diaper on a meat counter. That’s NOT the same as sitting a clean, covered up bottom on a surface and you bloody well know it. That’s definitely a violation of the health codes.
And yes, there ARE people out there who take their kids out wearing nothing but their diapers – trust me, I’VE seen them. So take your self-righteous, smug, know-it-all attitude and stick it right up YOUR ass.