get your dogs dirty ass off the restaurant table!

[purplehorseshoe]

@Chefguy

It was usually a common topic at dinners at the Foreign Service posts in Africa. “Airborne fecal matter, people! Discuss!”

Oh, lordy, now I have to figure out how to explain to my co-workers why I’m laughing so hard. Worse, I re-read it and mentally heard it in Mike Meyer’s “Linda Richman” voice.

They’ll never understand.

[armedmonkey]

wait…

[BubbaDog]

So many things I wanted to say here like -

1. I deworming your dog

and since somebody usually cleans the table after each use -

2. All your anuses are bussed

The obligatory nod -

3. High Opal

and my response to the inevitable question

4. Bubbadogs never sit bare-assed on any table

Only E. Polemic would be allowed to sit on any of my tables. Panties bunched that tight could never pass germs to the table surface.

[armedmonkey]

Maybe this will shut Euphonius up. UpToDate is the same resource I use at the hospital. This is what it has to say (bolding mine)

The reservoir for T. canis is latent infection in female dogs. The infection is reactivated during pregnancy, and is transmitted to puppies through the placenta and in milk. Most eggs passed into the environment are from puppies and lactating bitches. The eggs are not infectious when initially shed in the feces of dogs and cats; after about three weeks in the soil, however, the larvae are able to spread disease.

You want to tell me how the fuck you can catch that from a picnic table?

[armedmonkey]

Just to be thorough, Here is the UpToDate entry for Ascariasis (human roundworm)

It is estimated that the current prevalence of A. lumbricoides in stool samples is approximately 2 percent in the United States, but it may be more than 30 percent in children between the ages of one to five years

It should also be noted, that infection with Ascariasis happens when a human ingests the eggs in the feces, but with toxocaria the eggs have to hatch in the soil (three weeks later) before they are infectious.

In short: You could conceivably catch Ascaria from a picnic table, because ingesting the ova is all it takes, and more than 30% of U.S. kid’s s have it. You are NOT going to get Toxocaria from a picnic table, because it has to hang out in soil for three weeks before humans can contract it.

[Euphonious_Polemic]

I bow before your superior dog shit googling skills. I am in awe of you. I can clearly see now that humans pass parasites to humans far more often than dogs do.

[armedmonkey]

Knowledge is power, baby.

[billfish678]

5. What is the sound of one anus sitting?

I don’t know, but I can tell you the sound of one anus leaking is not good.

[Omegaman]

@billfish678

5. What is the sound of one anus sitting?

I don’t know, but I can tell you the sound of one anus leaking is not good.

Was it vaseline? Could be.
oops! should have trademarked that.

[curlcoat]

@Euphonious_Polemic

I bow before your superior dog shit googling skills. I am in awe of you. I can clearly see now that humans pass parasites to humans far more often than dogs do.

Waiting for my apology here.

[Apollon]

Hookworm is another human parasite, endemic to temperate climates. In several countries of the first world, due to its peculiar lifecycle (TMI, so I won’t elaborate), up to 30% of all children become infected at one point in their lives. You are much more likely to catch it from a small child than from an animal or an adult human.

[Sailboat]

@Euphonious_Polemic

Do 56% of babies in the United States typically carry an intestinal parasite load?

Now, let’s be fair, that number was 52%, not 56%, the first time you cited it, and it applied to dogs in the southeastern United States. So you’d have to compare that to human babies from the southeastern US as well.

[armedmonkey]

I didn’t address this earlier, but I should

@BubbaDog

4. Bubbadogs never sit bare-assed on any table.

Dude, are you forgetting the last time you got drunk at the Olive Garden? I won’t go into details in a public forum, so let’s just say that the olive oil is no longer virgin and you are no longer allowed in that restaurant.

[Euphonious_Polemic]

@Sailboat

Now, let’s be fair, that number was 52%, not 56%, the first time you cited it, and it applied to dogs in the southeastern United States. So you’d have to compare that to human babies from the southeastern US as well.

I’ve given up. Babies are filthy disgusting parasite filled sacs. Dogs are sweat disease free pups.

[Amber_in_Treasury]

I must lead a sheltered life. Because I’ve been to restaurants countess times - sometimes cheap ones, sometimes mid-market ones - and I’ve never, EVER seen anyone changing a baby’s diaper/nappy on a restaurant table. Pretty much the same goes for letting a dog sit on the table. When I first read about restaurant-table nappy-changing on the internet, I thought it was an urban legend! Or maybe a one-off incident. But disturbingly,it seems to become more and more common. Just for reference, I’m a woman from Luxembourg, in my late 20s, from a working-to-lower-middle-class background, and was taught some DECENCY. This isn’t meant to be anti-American, just anti-stupid-entitled-parent and anti-poop-on-restaurant-table. Bear with me. [edit] Or don’t, if you think poop on a table is normal.

[armedmonkey]

@Euphonious_Polemic

I’ve given up. Babies are filthy disgusting parasite filled sacs. Dogs are sweat disease free pups.

What is with you? Honestly, what the fuck? This was never about either / or.

And, well, you do owe an apology to curlcoat. You were wrong. It’s alright to be wrong sometimes. Just admit it, and move on.

[armedmonkey]

I kinda think I should apologize to BubbaDog, but I won’t. I have been dying to use the violated virgin olive oil joke, and you just gave me the opportunity. I hope you don’t take offense, Bubbadog.

[BubbaDog]

Next time I visit you Monkey boy be prepared for the ultimate payback as I scoot along the entire length of your living room carpet.

[CarnalK]

@Euphonious_Polemic

I’ve given up. Babies are filthy disgusting parasite filled sacs. Dogs are sweat disease free pups.

Here’s how the exchange looks, jackass:

others: you are more likely to get sick from human baby shit than a dog’s
Euphonious Polemic: no fucking way!
others: umm, yes
Euphonious Polemic: Then fucking prove it, you can’t can you??
others: [proves it]
Euphonious Polemic: Well, la di da. Aren’t you guys smart.

[Euphonious_Polemic]

@CarnalK

Here’s how the exchange looks, jackass:

others: you are more likely to get sick from human baby shit than a dog’s
Euphonious Polemic: no fucking way!
others: umm, yes
Euphonious Polemic: Then fucking prove it, you can’t can you??
others: [proves it]
Euphonious Polemic: Well, la di da. Aren’t you guys smart.

Here’s another take. YMMV.
others: you are more likely to get disease and parasites from human baby shit than a dog’s
Euphonious Polemic: Dogs have a high incidence of parasites, particularly rounworms which are transmittable to humans.
others: So? Big fucking deal! Humans have parasites in third world countries!
Euphonious Polemic: How frequently do humans in the United States carry parasites?
others: A whole bunch! You’re an idiot! And a jackass!
Euphonious Polemic: OK, whatever.