I usually host s New Year’s Eve party. With some trepidation, I’m doing so this year. (Some trepidation because my husband is immune compromised due to his cancer treatment.) I always have a bunch of people who RSVP that they won’t come, often just because they don’t like going out on New Year’s Eve, or have other plans. (I’m going to keep inviting my sister and my close friend who also throws a party, it’s okay if they don’t come, i want them to feel welcome.)
But this year i have friends who can’t come because:
Recovering from gall bladder surgery.
Husband is doing poorly, and just returned from the nursing home.
Sprained my ankle.
Might come, but can’t stay long due to a recently diagnosed brain tumor.
That last is especially depressing. I like him a lot, but don’t see him very often. And he’s getting chemo and radiation, so it’s not some benign things that just happened to be in a bad place. (He was diagnosed because he had a seizure.)
So sorry, puzzlegal. It’s difficult enough to confront and accept one’s own fragility, but to be forced to witness it amongst those you love the most… that’s quite a bit harder still, I think.
I hope you treasure and enjoy the time you spend with them, whether that’s a decade or several or a few days here and there. That’s all we can do, right?
We decided this year that we are no longer cooking Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas brunch. We’ll be happy to host, and if the kids or grandkids want to come over early and cook in our kitchen, that’s fine. But it’s just too much work for my wife and I to try to feed a dozen people, and at the end of both holidays this year we were completely exhausted.
(Plus, I’m tired of cooking a big meal then nobody shows up on time, but that’s a topic for a mini-rant thread…)
At this point in my life the only reason I leave the house is for doctor appointments. With my mobility issues I have to have my groceries delivered. Fortunately I’m able to do my own cooking and some household chores, but I’m looking into making arrangements for someone to come over to help with things I can’t do.
My mom used to offer that, but it’s so much more work to cook in someone else’s kitchen. So mostly i took over hosting. Or one of my sibs. None of us wanted to host at her house.
The only time we did it was for what turned out to be her last Thanksgiving. It was in the middle of covid, so we all gathered and hung out together wearing masks, and then we split up into several smaller groups to eat. My brother and his immune-compromised partner alone on their hotel room, his kids with their partners’ families, my sister and her husband with my mom, me and my husband at our home with our kids, and my other brother and his wife with her family. We brought all the food there, and split it up, so everyone had food that traveled once or twice. Basically, we all ate leftovers for Thanksgiving dinner. That was a logistical nightmare, but we all knew it was likely her last year, and she wanted us all together.
I have heard of a recent party that was held semi-virtual:
the host held the usual in-person party for those able to attend, but they also had a simultaneous Zoom portion, too. A computer with camera & microphone was located at the party, aimed at the main area of the party, but offset a bit so attendees could speak to those on Zoom without too much other noise, with the other attendees visible in the background. All those who were not able to be physically present were invited to the Zoom session (the Zoom host was one not able to be present in-person – the physical host will be too busy for this). A teenage grandson did this, helping people with Zoom on their machines, and said he ‘actually wasn’t bored for once’ at such gatherings.
During the evening, almost all of the guests came over to the computer to talk with those attending virtually, sometimes several at once. And the people on Zoom had lively conversations going on there, too.
I was told that it was considered quite a success – attendance both in-person and virtual was good, and they were able to have conversations with many friends who were no longer able to get around so much. So the OP might consider if something like this might work for her.
Severe arthritis in my right knee, losing my job more than two years before I’m eligible for full Social Security benefits, no time or resources to fulfil my life’s ambitions. Yep. Getting old is teh suxxor.
I think some of us know what it’s like to drive an ageing car, when things keep failing one after another. That’s not just a metaphor, it’s the exact same process.
It sure does. We stopped having people over in our mid 70’s but still stayed up till midnight until last year. I will have my annual drink (rum in eggnog), but probably around 10 after which I will get ready for bed. And hope to survive another year. Yeah, I will 89 in three weeks. And come April it will be the 61st anniversary of my heart attack.
I read in the paper about a couple celebrating their 78th anniversary. They are 98 and 99. I wonder what the record was.
Good for you, and I wish you many more years of good health!
I myself feel like an old car that is gradually breaking down but has no immediate crisis that requires towing it to the dump. My best hope is that vast intake of alcohol will act as some kind of preservative! Medical professionals seem to disagree, but if they’re so smart, how come some of them are dead?
Medical professionals seem to disagree, but if they’re so smart, how come some of them are dead?