Yeah, coming across as a smart ass is always a good idea.
Damned straight.
Remember, the cop has already decided whether or not he’s going to write you a ticket, which will be the case 99.5% of the time unless (A) you’re a hot chick, or (B) he’s late for the baker’s dozen special at Dunkin’ Donuts. Acting like a jerk or quoting the Bill of Rights will only cause him to harass you even further, such as giving you an impromptu sobriety check or busting out your taillight or something worse.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
DRIVER: Because it’s your job?
This is exactly the wording a county prosecutor suggested to a NORML meeting recently, if anyone should ever be pulled over for drugs. It isn’t being a smartass to assert your consitutional rights. It does seem a little heavy handed for a minor traffic stop unless you’re worried he might search your car.
Have your paperwork ready, your hands visible, and your light on if appropriate. Submit. A police officer friend tells me that suggests you might know a cop who told you how to behave.
It really, really helps to be a middle aged white person in a non-sporty, non-rattletrap car. I’ve been pulled over a few times for 10-15 MPH over the limit and they always let me go once they get a look at me and give me the ‘slow down’ warning.
I think this is good advice if you have a brick of heroin in your car or some other reason to worry that things could escalate into more than a simple moving violation.
But if all you’re angling for is the difference between a speeding ticket and a warning, I think this is pretty much guaranteed to get you a ticket.
Dammit, I’ve been driving like a bat out of hell all over town today hoping to put this suggestion to the test but I can’t get pulled over. 
Oh well, I’ll keep trying this weekend and report back if I get results.
No, that’s a much worse response. The only people who assert their constitutional rights at a traffic stop are:
- Troublemakers
- People who’ve committed a serious crime
If you’re a troublemaker, this is the worst time to act on it. You’re a guy driving a car. He’s a cop with a badge, a book of tickets, a gun, a tear gas canister, handcuffs, and an entire legal system on call. If it gets into a contest of which of you can cause more trouble for the other, he’s going to win.
If you’ve committed a serious crime and the cop knows that, he’s going to arrest you. You’re not going to talk your way out of it. You’re not even going to be given a chance to talk your way out of it.
But if you’ve committed a serious crime and the cop doesn’t know that, then your best chance is to avoid tipping him off. If you have fifty kilos of coke in the trunk and he pulled you over for doing forty-five in a school zone, you want to give the impression of being somebody whose most serious crime is speeding. No normal person is going to claim their fifth amendment rights at a speeding stop. So doing so just puts the cop on alert and makes him want to find out what you’re really up to.
And when you refuse to answer his questions (as is your right, and as you should do), then he’s either going to have to let you go or search your vehicle. Since he can’t search your vehicle without probable cause or a warrant, I suppose he could consider your silence as probable cause. Once the SCOTUS rules affirmatively that silence = probably cause, then the USA is finally and truly a Police State.
Sorry ociffer, I’ve been drinking…
I think you are answering a different question than the rest of us. The choices aren’t only let you go or search your vehicle. He can also write you a ticket for the moving violation instead of simply letting you off with a warning.
If you are stopped for a moving violation only (not a serious crime), asserting your 5th Amendment rights is certainly your right, but it is not wisest approach if your goal is a warning.
Very true, TroutMan. My personal belief is that you should never talk to cops unless a lawyer is present (even for something as mundane as a traffic violation), but admittedly it isn’t the best strategy for getting off with a warning.
I drive through there all the time. Redneck Central.
Walton and Oconee counties are truly stone-age.
3 blocks until Loganville proper…
I find the best response is “Oh hi! I haven’t seen you in the office in awhile. Aren’t you due to come in?”
Note: this only works if a)you are a medical professional b) the police officer is your patient and c) the officer is overdue for an appointment.
That said, it’s actually worked twice.
If all you did was drive a little over the speed limit, then searching your car is not an issue. The situation you’re facing is whether the cop is going to give you a ticket or let you off with a warning. And here’s a tip - asserting your fifth amendment rights makes your chances of getting let off with a warning really remote.
Now let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you have a bunch of illegal drugs in your car. In this situation, you want to allay the cop’s possible suspicions. You want to act like somebody who doesn’t have drugs in his car - in other words, you want to act like the guy in the previous paragraph whose only crime was driving a little over the speed limit.
But feel free to ignore this advice. After all it benefits me when you annoy the police. If there weren’t people like you out there asserting your rights unnecessarily, then normal people like me would be getting tickets instead of people like you.
I generally don’t straight up offer a reason if asked the question “do you know why I pulled you over?” but I don’t answer “I plead the fifth,” either. Then again, I don’t think many police officers have asked me that question.
Anyhow, I generally find that being polite, keeping my hands on the wheel where the officer can see them when he or she approaches, etc. works a little better than 50% of the time. The places I tend to get nailed where it sticks is out of state on the interstate. In-state, I seem to be good. I haven’t gotten a ticket in Illinois since 1998, and I’ve been pulled over three times that I could think of since then. (Last time for speeding, two taillights out, one headlight out, and driving on an expired license. Managed to only get a warning for that one, but the first written warning I’ve ever seen. I truly did not know about the tail lights, I knew I was speeding, and I had completely forgotten about the renewal–it was a week or two overdue.)
Actually I have been very lucky when attempting to talk my way out of a traffic ticket. I simply can’t offer advice as to me it’s a moment where your thoughts are just a reflex action. I don’t believe in trying to give a cop a prepared statement as he probably has heard them all. I don’t think as I just talk and let the words come out of my mouth and for some reason I have been lucky well over 90% of the time.
In my observation, what works 99.9% of the time is to be an attractive young lady and to cry. Not for this grandmom, but it sure worked for my daughter.
I could probably work up a few tears pretty quickly, but I don’t think I’d have time to change clothes and put on lipstick. And a wig. And a bra. Even if I managed to do so, just my luck, I’d roll down the window, and the cop would be a woman.
My mother’s in her upper 60’s, yet she still gets out of tickets and doesn’t even need to cry. On the other hand, she lives in a podunk rural area where she’s probably one of the hottest chicks around.
Eww, can’t believe I just wrote that.
Seriously, just tell the truth and apologize. I’ve only ever gotten one ticket, and that one the cop reduced (for which I was profoundly grateful, as I’d completely somehow forgotten the whole school zone thing and I was going 36 and he called it 34, which is a difference of plenty of money and points. I’m sure it helped that I was driving a legal speed had the school zone not been in effect.) Look, you knew your ass was speeding or turning illegally or whatever it was you were doing. The cop knows you know your ass was speeding and he’s sick and tired of bullshit.
(Note: I also recommend being a middle class white woman.)