Any good suggestions on how to talk a cop out of issuing a speeding ticket for, say, doing 65 in a 55 zone?
I haven’t been pulled over for quite awhile, but when it happens I’m always polite to the nice officer. More often than not, I’ve ended up being ticketed for a lesser offense (in our area " failure to obey a traffic sign" is a lesser offense than speeding or not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign).
Your mileage may vary.
Being polite, cooperative, and apologetic helps a lot. You hope the officer will minimize the violation, maybe writing up the ticket for 61 MPH instead of 65 to minimize the fine. If you’re lucky you might just get a warning, but even those may get picked up by insurance companies. These days making excuses may work against you, don’t make up stories about a bee in the car or rushing home to your sick family member. After all, you were speeding, minimizing the ticket is the best you may get, and don’t do anything that gives the cop an excuse to tack on a failure to signal, traveling in the left lane, or any other extras. For the most part the guy is just doing his job, don’t make it harder for him.
I have experienced two times when I was pulled over but not issued a ticket. I do not know if either one of these was the result of anything I did or said.
I was taking my 7-year-old son to a medical appointment and moved into a left turn lane. Only I moved into the lane early, where it was set up to turn into a parking lot, then became a striped area before once again become the left turn lane for the turn I actually wanted to make. I passed a county cop who was in the go-straight lane, and I think he felt compelled to pull me over for my audacity. When he saw I had a kid in the back, and I explained what happened, he gave me a written warning.
Last year I was driving home about 1:00 AM and was in the left lane of an interstate doing a little over 70 (posted limit 55). (This is one of those places where if you drive 70 you will get passed by a lot of cars.) I saw a sign and realized I was in an exit lane and needed to move to the right. I saw headlights behind me to the right so I made the decision to speed up and move over, rather than braking down to 55 to let the other car so I could go behind him. It turned out to be a state cop. He told me he clocked me first at 73, then at 76. I told him what happened, and he went back to his car. When he returned to my car he said I had a clean record and wished me a safe trip home.
In both cases I had license, registration, and proof of insurance on my dashboard and the driver window rolled down by the time the cop approached the car (I don’t know what they do when they stop but it usually takes a couple of minutes), kept both hands in plain sight on the wheel unless asked to do something, addressed the officer as “sir”. I did not admit a violation but was cooperative.
I do not think it’s likely that you can talk your way out of a ticket by bullshitting the cop. They’ve heard it all and are probably not receptive to being bullshat.
Buy, & read this!
Someone gave it to me when I bought my first car. I’ve done the same for others.
This and it works for everyone.
In addition I have found, possibly just for me, that an interesting vehicle helps. I got caught by a Maryland “Super-Bee” back in 1980 doing 90 in a 55 zone and the officer in question had to walk around my car multiple times to convince himself he had actually had to pull over a 1959 Edsel station wagon. I got snagged this summer on my Road Kow in my “full attire” (Google image Road Kow to see what I mean – Bessie and I pop up around the first choice) about 20 over the limit and again the officer was having such fun asking me questions about it all that he opted to ignore the speeding. Speeding stops get routine - pull someone over, hear the excuse, write the ticket; if you break that monotony in some pleasant way you got a fair chance of getting off with a warning.
Yeah, just be nice. It’s my experience that cops will generally treat you with the same attitude you present to them. A friend’s wife immediately starts bitching at the cops whenever she gets pulled over and, shockingly, always receives a huge fine or worse. She once had to drive all the way back down to North Carolina (she lives in Maryland) because her citation required her to appear in court.
And don’t lie. Don’t volunteer anything you don’t have to, but if asked a question, be honest.
I’ve been pulled over for speeding, VERY much over the limit, and gotten away with a warning or even just a verbal “Just slow down, please.” I’ve been pulled over with some frequency but in the last 15 years at least I’ve never received a citation. I am always polite, cooperative, and honest. Maybe I just have a pretty face. 
Does the inside just say DON’T SPEED? 
I find that oinking noises, a sincere apology for delaying his visit to the donut shop, and a gentle reminder that he works for me because my taxes pay his fucking salary never fail to produce results.
…Anyone else smell bacon??
Don’t be a dick is pretty much it. I once got out of a ticket, somehow – Lord knows why this worked – when I just admitted to the cop straight up, yes, I was speeding, I knew I was speeding, I saw him right behind me and didn’t slow down because, hey, if he’s got me, he’s got me. (I took off onto Lake Shore Drive and just hit the gas, and once I hit 55 (the speed limit during the winter is 40), I noticed the car behind me was a cop car. So, instead of hitting the brakes and slowing down, I just kept going 55.) I assume he just wasn’t going to give me a ticket no matter what, but he sure as heck was surprised by my candidness.
ETA: I also got out of a ticket (and I would not recommend this approach) in a foreign country (Hungary) by firmly stating to the officer that it was “not possible” that I was speeding. (Azt nem lehet.). It was an amusing interaction, which the officer trying to speak to me in his broken English, and me trying to speak to him in my broken Hungarian. I thought I was definitely getting a ticket (and I didn’t really care, because, karma-wise, I should have as earlier in the trip I had been doing 140mph on the highway), but, somehow, he just took my passport, went to the car, came back and said “Today, you are lucky. No ticket.”
General tip: when you see cop, DO NOT slam on your brakes. Not only does this immediately draw their attention to you, it’s dangerous for anyone near you. Just let off the gas pedal and friction will pretty quickly slow you down to a reasonable speed.
I talked myself out of a speeding ticket once, although it was a risky move that I wouldn’t recommend others try. I was going about 70 in a 55 and was pulled over by a Highway Patrol officer in Northern California. I rolled down my window and waited for the office to walk up to my car. As he leaned in I said “You got me officer, I was speeding, no excuses”. The officer was taken aback, smiled and said “nobody has ever owned up to it before like that”. He gave me a warning and walked away. That may have never happened before or since, but on that day, with that officer, fessing up worked to my advantage. YMMV.
“why are you hassling me, pig?”
Well, the state highway I have to drive anytime I go anywhere is an obstacle course, most days. You are taking your life in your own hands if you speed. Log trucks with no lights, deer everwhere, morning drunks,and at least once I nearly hit 2 mules walking down the middle of the road. Cops don’t even patrol it. No need. Speed kills!
It has been a long time since I’ve been stopped for anything. Of course you want to be polite and respectful, but IME if the cop wants to write you up he/she will, and nothing you say or do will change it. I’ve had cops acting extremely pleasant as they wrote me up - they were clearly in a speedtrap to raise revenue. On 2 instances - suffice it to say multiple violations were apparent - and for unknown reasons the cops let me off with warnings.
I believe my wife was given a warning when she explained she had just picked one kid up from school and was heading to pick up the other and didn’t want to be late. (That was funny, because when I got home from work and asked my son how his day was, he happily said he and his mother talked to a policeman! When I asked him what the policeman said, my son said, “You better slow down, lady!” BUSTED! :D)
<handwave>You don’t want to give me a speeding ticket.
<handwave>You want to go home and rethink your life.
“He made a sudden move with his hand, which appeared to be reaching for his saber. I was in fear for my life…”
As well as being nice and polite as other people have suggested, I’ve personally found that being white helps a lot. It also offers has many advantages in other circumstances as well. I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t choose to follow this strategy. 
Louis CK bit, in case you haven’t already seen it.