Yes, my post shows the enthusiasm of a recent convert. Yes, I do understand how annoying a recent convert can be. “…and (if you feel you must) witnessing.”
I personally do not believe in excluding anyone from a sexuality identity based on political or ideological tests. I go easy on other people, I like to trust people I meet at their word, but I’m tough on myself. My doubts were all self-directed. I wasn’t casting doubt on anyone else’s bona fides.
Maeglin, your criticism was well taken (especially your appreciation of Sappho). I’ve been thinking about this topic so much because I was accepted into a group of lesbian friends just as you described. It was a huge relief that they welcomed me in wholeheartedly without any reservations.
It had troubled me that transwomen have too often been rejected in the past with very hostile hate speech by certain radical separatist tendencies within the lesbian community. I knew that only some lesbians had this attitude, but not all of them. I was hoping to find those who were free of this ugly attitude. I found them, I’m very happy dealing with real individual living women instead of theoretical abstractions. I was just going over the fears that had troubled me, maybe still trying to convince myself I’m not dreaming, this group of beautiful, amazing women really did happen. Call it being a “wuss” if you must, I think of it as working through my insecurities.
Being a functioning member of the type of society I feel I belong in means I should have something to contribute, since I’m taking benefit from it. My doubts were whether I could contribute, and what a relief to find that I can. What I get out of it is exactly as tomndebb said, support from my peeps. I don’t feel strong enough to face up to the world as an isolated individual, not with my issues. I need that support from others at the same time as I contribute to the group whatever I can that’s of value to them. I don’t think there’s any shame in admitting that you need support from your fellow humans. It’s deeply engrained within human nature to form social support groups. I feel like this is the cure for my sense of alienation: a sense of belonging. To me it only makes sense that humans are social beings and therefore enter voluntarily into social support groups. It goes without saying that I only want the non-authoritarian sort of group that fosters the well-being of the individual to make her own decisions.
I apologize for being unclear about the exact point. There was sort of an enthymeme, an unstated premise: my fear that, being a transsexual, I would not succeed at womanhood. It’s by far the most difficult thing I’ve ever attempted. I didn’t come right out and say it because it’s a sore issue with me. I’m very glad now I got with my dyke peeps and my fears are put to rest by this success. The many transphobic horror stories I’d heard date from the 1970s, '80s, and '90s. In the present day, I seem to be finding that there are more compassionate, more inclusive, less ideological lesbian groups than before. I feel blessed and grateful. I still keep hoping that it isn’t too good to be true.
), ambushed. I admit I personally cannot see how the hell a gay or black person could support the Republicans, given how badly they’re misbehaving and abusing power these days. But remember the Republicans once had liberals among them. It was within my lifetime. I can remember the phrase “liberal Republican” from my childhood in the 1960s and early '70s. Anyway, your experience with the gay black Republican gentleman is an example of what I meant, how it’s a human tragedy when ideology ruins the warm bond between people’s hearts who were working together for a good cause. {{{HUGS}}}